Jaded heart

Work

Donte pov

Rolling over I go to wrap my arm around Gabriella and as I do my arm falls onto the bed, I don't open my eyes instead I feel around for her but with no such luck I open my eyes to find the bed messy and her clothes gone, I don't know how I should feel about that but it is what it is I guess. Throwing my feet off the bed I stand up stretching as I walk to the bathroom I don't know why but I find myself looking for a piece of paper anything to tell me she was here last night but theres nothing but the faint smell off her that lingers in the bedroom and the smell of s*x. Being woken up for a second round was something I didn't think Gabriella would have been into but she surprised me when she climbed on top of me and started riding me again but this time with move speed needing to feel me inside of her and she did because the c****x was just as good the second time, I made sure she couldn't feel her legs but some how she made it out my apartment without a problem. Trying not to think about Gabriella I turn on the shower letting it warm up before climbing in and letting the water run down my body but its harder then done as my mind goes back to what happened when we woken up and I nearly jump out the shower when I realise I didn't put a c****m on. It was unexpected s*x and we was both still half asleep when we started, running over to the edge of the bed towards the bin I only see one c****m and I start to panic as I do want children but not right now, nor do I want to be a burden and ruin Gabriella career with a child as she would hate me. 

Pacing around my apartment I debate whether to text her but I try to recoil our talk we had when we both agreed to have a fling I briefly remembering her telling me she's on the pill but the pill isn't always accurate if the pill isn't taken but deep down I know Gabriella isn't reckless like last night and it could be a reason why she left, could she have gone to get the morning after pill. Trying not to over think they I grab my phone and send a message to Gabriella needing to know she's ok ....

Me: We didn't use a c****m!

Gabriella: I'm on the pill and I grabbed the morning after pill

Feeling the relief flood though me I don't know if I am actually happy about it or scared as the scare made me think about children and how I want them at one point, I may even want them now but my job is a massive reason why I haven't settled down or have any children right now, I don't know Gabriella reason as Laura has a beautiful son and still does missions from time to time but when your on the fast track though the ranks I can understand how having children can derail that. 

Tidying around the apartment I wash the bedding and throw away the rubbish from the bedroom before locking the front door and heading to base, the scare earlier is over and I happened to talk my way out of children for now but I know it will come up again and again but right now my head is In a good place and I am ready for a training mission, our react times need to be quicker and I wont stop till I have them where I want. Driving to base I already spotted my teams cars and I'm thankful they are here on time especially after watching them all get drunk last night, I'm surprised they could climb out of bed this morning when I sent them a text telling them about the training mission, I half expected a couple of texts but shocking I didn't and thats strength training when already hungover. Parking between the guys cars I grab my bags and head inside knowing the guys are warming up in the gym, they know I push them hard and thats for reasons, I don't need us losing someone during a mission, we have been lucky sometimes and one time was from a pure flunk and thats why we train the way we do. 

Borrowing a couple of recruits we go though the training mission over and over again however it also gives me a look at the recruits that are coming though and what they need to work on to become one of us, I refused to take it easy on anyone as I haven't lost a team member and I am determined not to which is one of the reason why I am always pushing my men as slips up are rare with us. Standing behind my number two we run though it once more feeling a little better about today as we have taken a couple seconds off our time but I need it smoother now and maybe not get shot at, even though they are only paint ball shots they still string like a b***h especially when theres no padding on our hands. Shaking the hit off from my hand I look at the son of b***h who shot me and turn to my men wondering how they didn't see him because right now I am seeing him and instead of patting him on the back for getting me I am bring my paint ball g*n and shooting him in the foot with it letting him no it hurts a little. 

"Again" I shout as I head back to the beginning knowing I'm not making the same mistake again now that the smug bastard got me in the hand, he could have got me anywhere else which means his shooting needs work. Standing behind my men once again I tap whoever's in front of me and we go again hopefully this time its smoother then before, I have a lot riding on becoming a team who rely on each like one. Again and again we run the training mission for hours before I am officially happy with the way it went, not only was it smooth but I reckon we could have done it blindfolded which I don't recommend to be honest. Letting everyone disappear for lunch I stay and run the training mission though my mind a couple more times wondering if there was anything I could have improved even though I trust my men when the time comes doesn't mean we can just slow our pace down. This isn't a game but real life and we don't get a redo.