broken

The night was really long or maybe it was just long for me considering the fact that i couldn't sleep. And the storm just made my situation worse, with the wind making the trees shake and the rain hitting my window. it was around 5 in the morning when i finally saw a glimpse of the sun. "finally." is all i said to myself i got out of bed and felt the cold air creep up into my pajamas. i rushed to my closet and grabbed my huge grey hoodie with black sweat pants. After getting comtable in my outfit I walked in my bathroom and rinsed my face. Just after I wiped the remaining dropes of water from my face, I saw my eyes were puffy and had dark circles underneath them. ' what a perfect day' i thought sarcastically. i started putting out clothes for school when i felt thirsty. I went down stairs to get a glass of water, when i heard whispers coming from my dads office. i quietly tip toed closer when i jead my mom say, "she just has to go ." she said it in a small voice bearly audible. They were talking about the funeral. some boy died from school . I don't want to know him so i dont want to go their and pretend that i do plus my best friend really seems to be against it. so I'm not going and dads okay with my decision but mom seems to have a problem with it. dad started saying something to mom which i completely couldn't hear, so l slowly moved even closer to the entrance of the office. "She's old enought to make the her own choices." "No!" she yelled, "she's not old enough not to give her respect to the poor boy. they were at the same school for crying out loud." she said it witha gloomy tone in her voice. "That doesn't mean anything, they might not even know each other. honey she knows what she's doing." he said. I got say that I have the best dad in the world. " Yes, i know that but that even under those circumstances she should atleast go to pay some respect to her fellow student." "she doesn't....." "She going Jordan, okay?" She said demanding for concordance in the calmest voice she could come up with. when she said her last word i hear a chair move and with that i get up and run to the kitchen as quietly as possible. Just after my feet make their way in they stop, allowing me to catch my breath. I grabbed a glass of water gulped it down. then i refilled it and took a sit . 'The funeral. mmmmh..... should I go?' I thought to myself . " If you really don't want to go then don't go." " I don't want to but dont you think moms right on this one." i shrugged that thought off and dissagreed to it, making me feel better by thinking my mom makes assumptions of what she thinks is best for me. But you can make decision on facts you know about yourself i explaind to my self. "Do you want to go?" was my final question. "No, yes, maybe ,i dont know. "i was so uncertain that my heard started to hurt. It was getting a little frustrating. . I sat down trying to clear my thought make myself feel better when i felt a hand on my shoulder which was frightening. trying to make the fastest movement to see who it was i hit the glass of water dropping it to the ground and broke. "Mom, you?" i felt a little relieved. it took a second then I got a little scared, i wondered if she saw me eavesdropping on their conversation. "what are you doing here?" she seemed confused at my reaction of her being here," what am i doing here?" she replied i knew it was a rhetorical question so i waited for her response. " I heard someone in the kitchen i had to check, what are you doing up so early? Is everything okay?" okay thats means she didnt see me." i went to bed early so i got up early , yes everything okay." i said trying to avoid eye contact so i made way to the closet to get a broom. She a very observant person, i knew that if she saw my face and my puffy eyes they would tell her that i couldnt sleep. and she would get worried and ask questions and thats the last thing i needed. while i was cleaning up the mess, she made herself a cup of coffee and sat down. "so the funerals on monday?"she asked looking directly at me. i was busy picking up the pieces of glass when i felt eyes on me. i looked up only to see her staring at me, eager for a response. i looked back down quickly because she kinder looked scarey, since there was bearly any light comimg from the sun and the lights were off. " yes it it." i replied after a second or two. " I was thinking we should go shopping for your outfit." she paused, " maybe go to the spar. have lunch afterwards If you li..." "No! it a funeral mom someone's kid died, its not a fashion show, ah...!" i said angryly, and stormed out of the room before she replied. I dont know why her words strook a nerve. maybe its because he was human. no its not that. it kept ringing in my head is this how people will act when i die. from what i heard she's found an occasion for herself to look eye catching. its a fueneral for all i know not a fashion show. i walked up stairs and went in my room closed the door. i walked to my bed got my phone from under my pillow and started playing music. I went to the bathroom and placed my towel in a reachable position. I got rid of my clothes and hoped into the shower, i twisted the tap and the water started to flow. Although the weather made it less enjoyable it was still very relaxing, it helped calm my nerves .