BLAMELESS SORROWS

67. Be happy.

Vann's Point of View.

I get dressed and went down ready to went out, which is where I see my family all sitting by the living room looking at me curiously while I look back at them the same way.

Heri: Why are you looking at us like that, tell us how is grandpa Vasely?

She ask looking at me anxiously while I looked at her confusedly, has my sister become a little more foolish. She seems to have lose her touch.

Maybe all the worrying both my parents and Ri has done with the news of grandpa Vasely being unwell have taken away a bit of her intelligence. I won't be surprised if it did anyway, cause damn they have been so so worried this whole past weeks and the fact that grandpa Vasely decide not to entertain any guest make them more and more anxious.

Vann: You too know that Iam going out now and not coming back right?

Heri and my parents roll their eyes at the same time as I said that while I look at their expression amused.

Mom: We know that silly, it's just that since you are called, we thought you could know something. And seeing as you are called, has grandpa condition worsened?

Suddenly her mood also become dramatically anxious and worried making me sigh.

Vann: Iam sure everything is fine and Iam not called to treat grandpa or anything, he just seems to want to meet me. So, Iam sure it will be alright. Now I'll be going and I swear I will come right back to share everything with you guys.

They nod as I said that, but still anxious.

Dad: Alright go ahead quickly, maybe they might need you , just in case.

I nod at that and went out to leave.

I get in my car and drive out, anxiety clear in my mind as well.

The last time I check grandpa's health, nothing was wrong with his health but he don't really have much life force anymore too making me worried.

My ability, it can only retain life if the person have their life force and I can cure only sickness and wounds and not something like old age. And that make me more worried.

I know in the corner of my heart that even if I did meet grandpa today again, the result won't be much different from last time, if not worse and I won't be able to do anything about it.

But I choose to ignore that part of me and continue to think and dream of only the positive things I can think of.

So I act all tough and alright even in front of my anxious family cause if I show my scared self, then their fear will really be confirmed.

Like that I reach the palace, actually the inner palace since I am invited in that one. The inner palace is the one where outsiders are not allowed but seeing that Iam invited here, I can only think of the worse as to why I have to be called here instead of the main palace.

With a heavy heart I knock at the door and within seconds the door open, Tilbe being the one who open it.

But instead of her usual chirpy self who will jump in my arm whenever she saw me, rather I see a sad gloomy face who seems all tired and scared.

Vann: Hey!!

Tilbe: Hey, come on in.

She open the door wider while I step in, the house seem gloomy as well. And I knew with the mood that I should expect the worse.

Tilbe: Grandpa is in that room, please go in. He said he want to have some alone time with you.

I sigh as I went and hug her as close to me as I could.

Vann: Iam sure evrything will be alright Tilbe, so dont worry too much alright?

She give me a small smile and nod, but neither the smile nor the agreement look promising at all. Rather she seems to be doing it just for the name.

I sigh at that but knowing I can do nothing about it and realising its urgent to know grandpa's situation, I decide to went in first.

So with a kiss on Tilbe's forehead I went ahead and go in.

As soon as I step inside I see grandpa Vasely sleeping in his bed awfully still. His cheeks have hollowed out a lot since the last time I saw him, his skin feel lifeless and his body has become so much thinner. His breath a bit short and tired while he ready uneasy in his bed.

I was about to go out thinking he was asleep but before I do so, I heard him call for me.

Grandpa: Are you here Vann!

That make me quickly turn back and I went to his bedside and quickly answer to him.

Vann: Yes grandpa, Iam here.

He open his black eye which look so discoloured and lifeless today making my heart ache.

I softly touch his hand layed by his side checking his heath.

But the result I got just confirm my fear and do nothing more.

Grandpa: By the look on your face, I guess the condition is getting worse huh?

I stand there silently, my head bowed down while my mouth tightly shut not having the courage to face him.

Grandpa life force is almost over by now, which means his life is already up but he suffer from nothing so I can do nothing about it.

And how can I be the one to announce this to him, I have no absolutely no courage to do so.

Grandpa: Why does it seems like all of you guys fear my death more than I do?

I look up at grandpa face which look peaceful and serene.

And I realise he knew, he knew exactly what is going on and what will happen.

Iam surprised but at the same time not, cause it's grandpa Vasely, of course he will know.

Vann: It must be because everybody love grandpa the most.

Grandpa chuckled as I said that.

Grandpa: Then I will be thankful. Can you please help me sit up my boy.

I eagerly nod and softly held grandpa shoulder and arrange the pillows so that he can sit comfortably.

And when it's done, went back to where I was standing again.

Grandpa: You and your formality, come my boy, sit with this old man for a bit will you?

I sit down by his bed, a bit hesitant but surely.

Grandpa: You know better than I do, that I don't have much time left anymore.

I nod hesitantly but surely once again.

Vann: Iam sorry grandpa that I could do nothing about it, even though that is the only good thing I can do.

Grandpa chuckled once more as I said that while shaking his head in a no.

Grandpa: No one has the ability to fight against the flow of nature my son, no one. And Iam courageous and satisfied enough with my life to welcome it with open arms, so don't worry about it.

For someone who in know he will passed anytime soon, grandpa truly is brave and courageous. Case even now his demeanour look so peaceful and his eye look all calm and serene.

Grandpa: And besides there is something you can do much much better than treating patients.

I looked up at grandpa curious at where this is going.

Grandpa: Loving Tilbe.

Oh, that is what he mean.

Vann: Thank you grandpa, that is the biggest compliment I can ever get.

Grandpa smile as I said that while I blush a bit suddenly a bit embarrassed although I really mean what I said.

Grandpa: You know what, since you guys were kids, I was worried with how things will work out between you two opposite characters. One so quite and seemingly cold while the other so chirpy and seemingly optimistic. Tilbe always so loud and jolly wherever she is while you are always peaceful and composed wherever that might be.

I know right, how come we are this different which is there even now.

Grandpa: Those differences worried me a bit but I guess love too make everything else nude and meaningless. Cause you guys did make it work and magically at that.

A small smile lit up my face as grandpa said that, happy that his blessings are always with us.

Grandpa: You know that you, the person who never talk much and never mingle with anyone, always quite and closed off too know how to chatter, laugh and happily play around so cheerfully when you are with Tilbe right? You can never say no to her and her safety and happiness always seems to come first with you. You just become a different person when you are with her.

Vann: I know grandpa, and I love myself with Tilbe best.

The happiness I get when Iam with her, the calmness and the peacefully I have when she is near me is something I can never let go off and something I have grown to love.

From her innocence, to her childishness, to her mature side and her loving manner, I love everything about her. Good or bad I love it, as that is what made up my Tilbe.

Grandpa: You know it has always been my dream to see you guys get married someday and me walking her down the aisle. I always thought that will be how it will went, but I guess time is not on my side. I will not be able to walk her down anymore but belive me I surely will be looking over you guys from wherever Iam, so do it right.

He should a bit stern by the end, and although he play it off as a jest, I know he seriously mean what he said.

Vann: I promise grandpa, I will make sure of it.

Grandpa: Please help me take care of my precious granddaughter, will you? This will be me giving her hands away since I won't be able to do it anymore, can I be at peace Vann?

I clear my mind as much as I can, my eyes truthful and sincere while my voice full of honesty and promise when I said.

Vann: Thank you grandpa, please rest in peace and look and checked over us all the time. I will make sure Tilbe is here happily and joyfully leading her life. I will make sure she is happy and contended.

Grandpa smile as I said that and softly pat my back while sighing in relief.

Grandpa: Now I feel a bit more relived. Vann, Tilbe rely on me a lot in her life. Whatever she do, she have a tendency to always seek out my approval and advices, she celebrate with me, she solved all her problem with me and even creats one with me. In her short life, her morning start with me and her nights end with me as well. So when Iam gone, she will become lost and have no will for a bit, confused at what life has thrown at her. At that time, please be by her side and console her for me. She will really need you to be there for her.

I nod as he said that, my heart breaking t each of grandpa words. Grandpa really will be gone soon, but none of are ready for it except him but because dying is something inevitable and no one control it.

The only thing I can do for grandpa now is encourage all his dreams and do my best in making him realise it.

Vann: I promise grandpa, I will always be by her side. I will make sure I never let go of her hands. Thank you for trusting me with Tilbe grandpa, it's really an honour.