My Lovely Lockdown

A dream...... I wish, if only it could be like old times. Seeing family and friends every day, happily just going about my day without worry. But now.... Blood...Violence.......The lost feeling of the heart......The longing of normalness......Something is always missing... Trying to find something.... anything in the dark is hard enough as it is and now this. As if things couldn't get worse, but if only things could get better. I love. I lose. I fair. I fail. I seek. I sow. All so follows that I miss the simple life..... Can't I just wake up? I can't let them get me! Who can I trust? Who can I care for when there is no one who cares...... I am...... Lost. No where to run, no one to turn to. Why? Why does this happen just as things were starting to look up. Just as it..... What has the world come to? I would have never guessed. I just.... I don't know anymore. I have nothing to live for. Only to suffer, to cry till my eyes are dry. What happened to us? Why? This is all I can ask myself over and over. No. Why? I'm....I'm just...just so lost.