Apparition

Chapter # 19

The determination of running away from my fate, from this tormenting reality which is causing me to crumble to dust is sheer. I don't think I can stay here any longer in this nightmare. The way his touch, his words are taking over my mind will surely be proven fatal for me. The need to escape my reality took over me as I remained still with my heart filled with nothing but only desire- Breaking free. To break free from this hell, to break free from his possession which is impossible but somewhere a glint of hope is igniting in me and telling me to run away, unafraid of my consequences. If I stay in his domain for a little longer, I'll immerse myself in those thoughts which cause my very soul to convulse in dread. The unpleasant feeling of thinking else apart from apprehension about him is revolting. The only emotion present between us is fear. Our relation is based upon fright and nothing else will come in between.

I waited for my wounds to heal and free me from this immobilization. Looking at him breaks my tranquil and the fright that he might not know about what is going through my mind fills me up. The risk of it can cost me my life but my life is something I have grown weary off and want to be released from those shackles of imprisonment.

I'll gladly accept death with open hands but not a single moment with him. The look of compassion and those mystifying eyes are drowning me in the pool of apparitions as my petite form bears that crushing weight of receiving compassion for the harm that was caused by him. I don't want you sympathy!

My soul burned singing the melody of devastation as my heart moved in rhythm with the chaos.

After an unimaginably long time, Finally, my wounds healed, I can move again. I have made up my mind that I'll flee from this ordeal. This suffering is more than I can bear and I want liberation from this undesirable look of passion from him as well as his terror. The barely controllable emotion of temptation, pity and horror is affecting me a lot.

I stayed awake and waited for the glory of the morning to soar through the sky as well those shackles that will bind me to that abhorrence.

I remained like a lifeless body as he came closer. Each time he came closer I felt those unwanted sensations in me from what I want to be free of; that's the look from what I want liberation from. He gave me that look of yearning which I deny and always will, I will never accept his affection. He grabbed my ankle and was about to lock me up in this torture again but I sat up and held his hand.

He looked at me as I narrowed my eyes and gave him a pleading look. "Please, Don't" I begged in a barely audible tone but he heard it. He, who indulges himself in pitying me and breaking me over and over again. He lowered his gaze emitting that usual mournful aura of his.

"Please.. " I whispered in a croaked voice. Not wanting to see me like this, he complied with my request as he let go of my leg.

"Why?" He asked. "Am I a prisoner?"

"Of my domain."

After a brief pause, My breath hitched when he moved closer and hovered over me. I shut my eyes tightly and didn't dare to open them. I felt his hot breath tingles on my skin as my hairs stood on their edge. The stir feeling of being close to him evokes a sensation which is too good for my own. I deeply wish for him to get away but this time he didn't. I felt his lips brush against my cheeks as he whispered something I couldn't make of. He tried to say something but my mind couldn't apprehend it. But somehow alarmed me.

He moved down to my shoulder and spoke up again in a low voice, "You soul belongs to me, Mary." I held the sheets tightly, scaring to death that he might know what's in my mind. I shuddered fiercely when he placed a kiss over my shoulder. Overwhelmed by his intimidating presence, I didn't dare to speak or move. "Do not forget it." He said huskily. I nodded hastily, trembling violently in his dominating presence.

He eventually moved away and left me without binding me to those chains of imprisonment which shows me my ravage. I let out a rapid breath and calmed my anxious self by putting my hand over my chest.

After regaining my senses, A triumphant smile formed on my face that I can finally be freed. But, the fear that my soul is his and he is my hunter and a predator never let go of his prey rushed in me but craving death and freedom, I decided to leave.

After he left, I stood up and took a deep breath which is gonna help me to grasp my fate in my hands.

I remembered my life which was filled with love. Once again, the fleeting moments of my life flashed in my mind and I broke the stained glass and jumped out of it. I have to run.

My ankle twisted as I put my hand over my mouth to muffle my cry and took out the shards of glass that pricked my body and ran away. For the life I sought to gain. For the redemption I can only find in death. Away from everything related to him, I ran and ran. My lungs begged for some air due to weakness and pain in my body but still, I ran away. My body could move freely but still I ran. My feet gave up on me and I still ran. I ran away!

~Finally, the bird broke the cage and flew away.~

With the feeling of elation that I can dictate my life once again, I continued to run. After being satisfied that I had run enough, I sat under a tree and regained my breath, I sat down and took a few deep breaths to calm down and muster enough strength to run again. I looked around and found myself in the forest filled with thick fog. One can easily get lost in it. The trees are almost dead. As I was talking deep breaths, I heard a low growl. My whole body lost its senses as I heard it. I swallowed hard and slowly turned my head and saw a bear. Of all things, a bear came. Great! What else is left to happen to me?

For the sake of my life, I began to run again. Even though I don't have enough strength left in me, I ran. Unfortunately, The speed of the bear was quite swift than mine as he reached up to me and I felt him attacking me with his claws. I scream in pain and fall on the ground.

I began to crawl back as I felt the viscous material released by my body without any control over it flowing from my back along with that tingling sensation of pain but this pain is nothing as compared to when he took out that centipede from inside me. Blood continued to flow. I crawl back and my back hits the tree. I squeaked in dread and closed my eyes. Somewhere in my heart, I felt happy that I am not dying by his hands but the fact that my life ends here is irrefutable.

An involuntary smile was formed on my lips as I began to enjoy the interlude between this fleeting moment of my death but that never came to a halt. My eyes flutter open when I feel a liquid on my face. I touched my face and looked at my hands. There was blood. I looked at myself, it's not mine.

My body froze in fear when I looked up and saw HIM.

~But no matter how far the bird flew, it ended up in the same cage~

My body trembled, anticipated by the dread that I ran away. My very soul shivered because I know there’s no way that I can escape his wrath. My breath caught up in my throat. I felt like my body lost its senses and turned oblivious to all the things around me and focused on one thing, him.

He looked at me with the look submerged in fury and bent to his knees. My body which was consumed by dread curled like a ball. I want to beg him to release me from that intolerable suffering but my petrified form can't even pursue a sound. I continued to look at him in terror. Utterly petrified to think what he will do to me. He brought his hand close to my face and moved it down. I shivered aggressively under his ferocious gaze. His fingers delicately moved from the side of my face, while tapping fingers over my lips so slowly. My heart stopped for a second. Under that sharp menacing gaze, I found myself submerging in the deepest depth of fright. My lips were quivering, I was shaking uncontrollably.

His hand after eliciting intolerable sensations inside me, he moved his hand down and stopped where my heart was and without any warning, he stabbed there. I was stiff for a second but when I tried to scream but I couldn't. He took his hand out as blood began to flow out and I lost my consciousness. I can finally feel that my life is at its verge and I have attained what I deeply wished for- liberation but before I could receive that eternal solace I heard his heavenly voice calling me,

"Forgive me.." I heard him say for the first and last time...