LA: Loyalty or Annihilation

Chapter 12

Kristal's POV

Cold water.

That's what I need.

I turn the faucet as far as it'll go, cup my hands beneath the stream, and splash my face. The shock of cold makes me suck in a breath, but that's probably a good thing.

I do it again before bracing both hands against the sink.

Breathe.

My therapist taught me this.

In through my nose. Hold. Out slowly.

Again.

By the fourth breath, the bathroom doesn't feel like it's closing in around me anymore. By the fifth, my heartbeat has settled enough that I can look at myself without seeing a woman who's about to lose her s**t at work.

Better.

I grab a paper towel and pat my face dry.

My tears aren't for Shawn anymore.

My life isn't with him anymore.

Ha.

I stare at my reflection.

It never really was.

It was an illusion built around a man who—

"Stop."

I slap both cheeks lightly.

"Stop."

I've already analyzed this. Cried over it. Discussed it in therapy twice a week. I'm not spending the rest of my lunch break standing in a bathroom reopening wounds I've been trying to close.

Jade is pregnant.

That's reality.

Shawn is going to be a father.

Also reality.

Neither has anything to do with the life I'm building now.

My stomach growls loudly.

I raise an eyebrow at my reflection.

"Exactly. We have more immediate problems."

Like food.

Preferably something greasy enough to make my therapist disappointed and me happy.

I straighten my scrubs and think about room three.

Nope.

Hopefully Maya can take over until Jade is discharged. Danielle should be back from lunch soon anyway.

The more distance between me and the Montgomery family, the better.

Jade had wanted to tell me something before Shawn came bursting into the room. Maybe she wanted to finish saying I didn't owe her an apology. Maybe she wanted to ask me something about him.

Whatever it was, I don't need to hear it.

There's no turning back from this.

Not for Shawn and me.

And whatever happens between Shawn and Jade belongs to them.

I unlock the bathroom door.

Time to get back to work.

---

Dr. Kenny Davidson's POV

Neither Montgomery is giving me a hundred percent of their attention.

Mrs. Montgomery is making an effort, but her husband keeps glancing toward the door Kristal disappeared through.

Whatever.

That's why discharge instructions exist.

I finish explaining the basics and make sure everything is documented clearly: prenatal follow-up, hydration, smaller meals for the nausea, warning signs after the fainting episode, and when she needs to come back immediately.

They can read whatever doesn't stick.

There's obviously something happening in this room that has nothing to do with medicine, but I'm not going to interrogate anyone about it.

I excuse myself and head into the hallway.

Kristal isn't there.

I didn't expect her to be.

Nobody summoned her to the nurses' station. I knew that when she said it, but Kristal doesn't abandon a patient without reason. She's an excellent nurse, and if she needed to get out of that room badly enough to invent an emergency, I wasn't going to stop her.

I reach the nurses' station and grab another tablet to finish Mrs. Montgomery's discharge paperwork.

That's when I hear two of our newer trainees talking nearby.

"Hey. Did you hear about Kristal?"

My thumb pauses over the screen.

I'm not eavesdropping.

I'm charting.

There's a difference.

"No. What's wrong?"

"She's not engaged anymore."

"WHAT?"

I glance up.

So much for discretion.

"Why?"

"Not sure. But Kyle in security said he's tired of her ex-fiancé showing up here trying to see her and getting turned away."

Now that gets my attention.

Ex-fiancé.

Showing up at the clinic.

Security blocking him.

"Wow."

"Exactly."

"Have you ever seen her ex?"

I continue tapping at the tablet while paying absolutely no attention whatsoever.

"Yeah... wait—"

I glance over just as Maya steps directly into my line of sight.

"Hey, girls?"

Both trainees straighten.

"Yes, Maya?"

"I need you two to check and restock the empty exam rooms."

"Okay."

"We're on it."

They hurry off.

Damn.

I lower my eyes to the tablet again.

Terrible timing.

"Hey, Maya."

Kristal's voice makes me look up.

She's coming toward the nurses' station looking much better than she did when she left room three. Still tired around the eyes, but composed.

Maya immediately studies her.

"Kristal, are you okay? You looked really pale earlier."

"I'm fine. I just needed a minute." Kristal rubs her stomach. "Can you take room three while I finally go to lunch? I can hear my stomach smacking against my bones."

Maya laughs.

"You're stupid."

"And starving."

"You owe me."

"Name your price."

"Go eat." Maya's expression softens. "And I'm here if you need to talk, okay?"

Kristal's smile fades slightly before returning.

"Thanks. You're the best."

"You know it."

Maya winks, and Kristal heads toward the cafeteria.

My eyes follow her for a moment.

Then—

"You know..."

I look at Maya.

She's watching me now.

"...if you're interested in Kristal, you're going to have to take it extremely slowly."

My head snaps toward her.

"What?"

A smirk spreads across her face.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Please."

She folds her arms.

"I've seen you watching her when you think nobody notices."

"I work with her."

"Mhm."

"I'm observant."

"Sure, Doc."

I open my mouth to defend myself, but the teasing leaves her face.

"Seriously, though. She's hurting right now."

That shuts me up.

Maya lowers her voice.

"I don't know everything that happened. Kristal doesn't talk about it much. But whatever went down with her fiancé was bad."

Security immediately comes back to mind.

So does the missing ring.

Then Mr. Montgomery looking at Kristal after finding out his wife was pregnant.

Montgomery.

Wait.

I glance toward room three.

Could be coincidence.

Could also explain quite a f*****g lot.

"Give her time," Maya says. "If you really want to get to know her, then get to know Kristal. Not newly single Kristal. Not hurt Kristal. Her."

Fair enough.

"She's a great woman and she deserves somebody who actually knows how to love her."

Then Maya leans closer and lowers her voice.

"The question is, Doc..."

She pulls back with that damn smirk again.

"Is that you?"

For once, I don't have a clever response.

---

Kristal's POV

Walking toward the cafeteria feels like freedom.

Twenty uninterrupted minutes where nobody needs an IV, medication, paperwork, reassurance, or anything else from me.

Just food.

And possibly a cookie.

Definitely a cookie.

As I leave the nurses' station, I notice Dr. Davidson from the corner of my eye. He's bent over a tablet, white coat stretched across broad shoulders while he documents something.

Jesus.

The man really is sexy.

Not cute.

Not simply handsome.

Sexy.

And unfairly hot.

The kind of hot that somehow survives fluorescent hospital lighting.

His head lifts.

Our eyes nearly meet.

I look away first.

Nope.

We're not doing that.

I just got out of one relationship disaster. I'm not even remotely ready to entertain another man, no matter how good he looks in a white coat.

Honestly, I'm not sure when I will be.

And that's okay.

Right now, I'm dating peace.

Peace has been very good to me, doesn't lie, secretly have a wife and definitely doesn't—

I stop myself before the thought finishes.

"Girl, go eat."

An orderly passing by looks at me strangely.

I smile.

"Long day."

He nods like that explains everything.

Maybe it does.

I keep walking toward the cafeteria.

Food first.

Existential crises later.

---

Shawn's POV

Dr. Davidson leaves to finish Jade's discharge paperwork while I help her sit on the edge of the bed.

"You dizzy?"

"No."

"Nauseous?"

"Not right now."

"Tell me if that changes."

She gives me a look.

"I'm pregnant, Shawn. I'm not made of glass."

"I know."

Still, less than an hour ago she collapsed in my arms. I'm going to worry.

I hand Jade her blouse and turn ti.vget the rest of her clothes.

Pregnant.

The word still doesn't feel real.

I'm going to have a child.

A son or daughter.

I start wondering what the baby might look like. Jade's dark hair, maybe. Her eyes. My—

Then my mind betrays me.

Kristal is suddenly in my arms instead, smiling down at a sleeping baby curled against her chest while I hold them both.

Our baby.

I jerk so hard that my hand catches Jade's arm as I help her adjust her sleeve.

"Ow!"

"s**t. I'm sorry, baby."

She rubs the spot.

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

Her eyes narrow.

I force a smile.

"I got lost thinking about our child."

Lie.

The word lands heavily in my head.

Jade studies me for a moment before looking away.

"Right."

I finish helping her with the blouse while she buttons it herself.

One of her hands pauses over her stomach.

That's reality.

Jade is carrying my child.

Whatever life I once imagined with Kristal is gone, and no matter how easily my mind reaches backward, I can't keep living there.

Kristal already moved forward without me.

I need to start doing the same before I destroy what's still standing.