Blackheart

.XI.

I woke up on the forest floor with Calypso and Ilta still lying with me. There was a hollow feeling in my chest, a feeling I hadn’t felt in a very long time. As I got up from the floor, my vision blurred, and a sharp pain shot through from behind my eyes, causing me to stumble, falling back onto the ground.

“Ro?” Calypso called, getting up with Ilta, but froze as they placed their hands to their heads, indicating to me that they felt the same pain.

"Can you refrain from sharing your pain?" Ilta asked.

As I sat back, the urge to vomit ran me over like a freight train. I got up, ignoring the pain and dizziness, and ran into the woods. As I got to a reasonable distance, I removed my hand from my mouth and vomited. I hadn’t realized that Calypso and Ilta had followed me until I heard them throwing up as well. As we wiped our mouths and leaned ourselves against the tree, we looked at one another, and a rather horrifying thought came to my mind, but was voiced out by Ilta.

“Uh, don’t mind my asking, girls, but when was your last cycle?” she asked. Calypso and I froze. No. It couldn't be. But he did knot me, hoping for me to conceive.

“No. No. No, no, no, no, no.” I said, panic rising in my voice, "It can't be. This can't happen right now. I don't want this!" Confusion spread across their faces as they questioned my thoughts for a moment.

"What do you mean you don't want this?" Ilta asked.

"Atto knotted me! I don't want his pups! I just want to get out of here and away from him!" I cried, panic running through my mind, as I clawed at my stomach. They stood, horrified by what I was doing, before reality caught up and they fought to restrain me. We were so caught up in our panic that we hadn’t realized the boys were coming our way.

“Is it me, or do they seem panicked?” Atto whispered to Wyatt and Midnight. We froze at the sound of their voices, not turning to face them, and just walked briskly ahead of them back to the house. They shrugged off our behavior as some random girl thing and walked with us back to the pack house.

“What are you going to do about Zaria’s mom?” Wyatt asked me. At the mention of her, the hollow feeling in my chest returned.

“Wyatt!” Calypso yelled.

“What? I’m just asking a reasonable question,” he replied, hands raised.

“It’s okay, Cal,” I said, walking into the house. As I broke the corner of the foyer, everyone in the room approached me.

“Luna. We’re so sorry for how we treated you! We’re so sorry! Can you ever forgive us?” they pleaded, but I dismissed them, their pleas falling on deaf ears to the floor. I waved them off, walking up the stairs to my room.

‘Why do they think their apologies mean anything now? I hate them! I wish I could wipe this pathetic pack from off the face of the earth.’ I thought

“So big now that you’re Luna! Huh, Ororo!” Ares shouted up to me. Just barely glanced over my shoulder to look at him,

"I never asked to be here," I whispered, a lone tear rolling down my cheek as I turned around, muted my hearing aid, and continued up the stairs. As I rounded the corner, Add and Phoenix stepped in front of me, flailing their arms and speaking, but I couldn’t hear them as I had no intention of unmuting my hearing aid. I pushed past them, catching a glimpse of their falling faces and Phoenix punching the wall. I made it to my bedroom, closing and locking the door. I completely took my hearing aid off, placing it on the bedside table, and collapsed onto the bed, my feelings of pain and anger falling with me as I began to cry again, the hollow feeling in my chest growing. I couldn't believe them. This pack. Every day, they showed me why I couldn't trust them. Why I hated them, and why I wished I could take them off the map. I got to Atto’s bedroom without any more interruptions, slammed the door, and sat behind it for what felt like an eternity.

"Calypso, can you and Ilta come up here? Please." I whimpered into our link, "I need someone I can trust. And bring Tonia too." Calypso linked for me to unlock the door for them a minute later. She must have informed Tonia because she came with a small ultrasound machine and some of her lab equipment for blood work.

"Well, ladies, I can happily — not so happily in your case, Ororo — inform you that you are indeed pregnant," Tonia said. She looked at me with such sadness that it made me cry all over again.

"I don't want this! I just wanted to get out of this stupid fake pack and live a quiet life alone! THIRTEEN YEARS! Thirteen years is how long I’ve spent being mistreated!" I wailed, "First the bastard rejects me and sleeps with Zaria in the same night, then he watches as the others beat and damn near cripple me, and now...he gets me pregnant!" I shook with rage, my hands clawed, and I clawed at my still flat stomach. Tearing through skin and tissue again.

“Get this thing out of me! Get it out!” I cried, clawing at my stomach as they all fought to restrain me.

‘I didn’t want this.’ I thought when Tonia took the decisive decision to slap me. In my brief, shaken state, she pulled my arm, pulling me into a tight, warm hug.

“It’s going to be ok,” she whispers to me. I dug my claws into her back as a soul crushing; body racking sob left my lips. As I cried into her shoulder, I slowly relaxed. The more I cried, the more my claws retracted. When my claws retracted fully, and she was sure I was out of energy, she pulled away.

‘Why was I left alive? There’s no point to this.’ I looked out into the dreary evening sky as a fresh wave of tears fell from my eyes. Out of energy, I curled up and cried until I fell asleep. Six hours later, I awoke, and they were still here with me, the television on with Charmed showing. I wished silently, in that moment, to be like Piper, to have her strength and courage.

"You're awake," Tonia said. I smiled quietly at her, "Ororo, you never forgave Atto, did you?" I smiled sadly and shook my head.

"How could I?" I asked. "He moves just like everyone else. He assumed based on what? Rumors? I was a child."

"We thought you forgave him for rejecting you," Ilta said. I looked at her, a sad smile resting gently on my face.

"No, Ilta, I never did." I said, "And now..." I trailed off, looking at my stomach.

"You can never leave," Calypso said understandingly. We sat there in understanding silence when Ilta spoke up.

"We will help you," Ilta said. "If you cannot leave, then we will make it as bearable for you until you can.". I looked at her, shocked.

"He's your Alpha," I said. She shrugged.

"I swore my life and allegiance to you," she answered, "therefore, wherever you go, I go."

"You mean 'we go,' " Calypso said. I smiled at them, then turned to look at the door.

"I'd like to see Atto. You guys can go," I said. "Cal, can you send him?"