Epiphany

Astra Inclinant, Sed non Obligant (Part 2)

"I almost gave myself to him," Hannah's voice shook by the end of her statement. 

"S-Stop..." I said as I pushed Clint away. "I'm sorry but I can't do this." Nagmamadaling inayos ko ang sarili ko at saka tumakbo palabas ng hotel room. Nadapa pa ako nang malapit na ako sa elevator. 

I cried as hard as I can. Hindi dahil masakit ang pagkakadapa ko, kundi dahil sa nagawa ko sa sarili ko. 

Para akong nabuhusan ng malamig na tubig at nawala ang kalasingan ko. Nahihindik ako sa isipin na kamuntikan ko nang ibigay ang sarili ko sa lalaking gusto ko pero ni hindi ko man lang kasintahan. 

So, stupid, Hannah!

Since that night, iniwasan ko na ang pagsama kay Stella. I focused more on my studies and making good friends. 

I met Leah on that night. She saw me while I was crying in front of the elevator. She's the one who helped me. Iniuwi n'ya rin ako sa bahay. I tried to find her the next day  to thank her and luckily, she's working on that hotel kaya nakita ko agad s'ya. We became friends at mas pinipili ko na na s'ya ang kasama kaysa kay Stella. 

A year went by after that incident. Iniwasan ko na ang night life at mas tinuon na lang ang sarili ko sa pag-aaral. 

Summer of that school year, Leah asked me to accompany her on a trip. It was on Sagada. Dahil minsan lang magyaya si Leah ay sinamahan ko na s'ya. I practically begged my mother to let me go on that vacation. 

We met up with Leah's boyfriend on Baguio. Dustin is his name and he's not the type of guy I was expecting to be my friend's boyfriend. Leah is from a simple family. She's working as a receptionist on a hotel. She's a simple woman with an active and lively personality. I am just one of her many friends but I see her as my closest friend. And her boyfriend trying to hit on me severed our friendship. 

Inaway ako ni Leah dahil nakikipag-break na si Dustin sa kanya dahil gusto raw akong ligawan. Unang kita ko pa lang kay Dustin, alam ko na na gan'on s'yang klaseng lalaki. He's a typical rich man's son... arrogant and a playboy. 

I tried to explain to Leah that I am not interested with Dustin at wala naman akong ginawa para magkagusto sa akin ang boyfriend n'ya. Alam naman n'ya iyon dahil magkadikit naman kami buong trip. Panay ang advances ni Dustin sa akin pero itinataboy ko s'ya, hindi pinapansin, o 'di kaya'y sinusumbong kay Leah. 

It was heartbreaking to lose a friend for that petty reason. I am hoping that Leah will see that. 

"She's just insecure," Ciara, my cousin said. Bumisita sila ni Stella sa bahay namin at nakita nila akong umiiyak sa silid ko. I ended up telling them about what happened with Leah. 

Two months passed by and I think Leah's ready to talk to me. Nanghihinayang kasi ako sa friendship namin. Pinuntahan ko s'ya sa hotel kung saan s'ya nagta-trabaho at sinubukang kausapin. 

"Sinasayang mo lang ang oras mo, Hannah," nakairap na sabi ni Leah. 

I can feel my heart breaking from her cold treatment. I was about to leave her alone when a man stood beside me. Nasa counter ako ng reception ng hotel at mukhang mag-che-check in ang lalaki. 

Saglit na napahinto ako sa kilos ko dahil sa pagkakatitig ng lalaki sa akin. Iniisip ko kung kakilala ko ba s'ya pero hindi naman. Tipid na ngumiti na lang ako sa kanya at saka umalis na. 

"Miss!" Malakas na tawag ng lalaki sa akin. Pinigil n'ya pa ako sa siko at pagkatamis-tamis na ngumiti sa akin nang magkaharap na kami. "I'm Von."

I threw a glance at my arm he's holding kaya bumitiw s'ya doon. 

"I'm sorry, but I'm not interested," deretsang sagot ko at akmang aalis na nang pigilin n'ya ulit. 

Von chuckled. "I have a friend who's a photographer. And he needs a model," he started. "Yes, it will be a pleasure to go out with you, but my intention is not for myself. I think your face is perfect to be his model." 

"I'm sorry but I am not interested," I repeated. 

Pumihit na ako para talikuran muli ang makulit na lalaki, pero sa pagpihit ko ay nabangga ako sa katawan ng isa pang lalaki. 

"Dude! Good you're here! Help me convince this beauty to be your model," Von excitedly said. 

I dropped my mouth when I saw who's the man I bumped with. It's none other than Clint! 

Hindi ko alam kung ano ba ang tamang gawin. Last time we met, I almost threw myself on him. 

"E-Excuse me," I hurriedly said then I walked away as fast as I could. 

Three days since I bumped into him, Clint paid me a visit on school. I don't know what changed, but he started to be friendly with me. 

On Clint's second week of constant visit, Leah reached out. We became friends again and I can't describe how happy it made me. 

"Girl, nanliligaw na 'yan sa'yo," Leah teased while checking the box of chocolates Clint gave me. 

Honestly, I don't know how to confront the man. Gusto ko sanang linawin kung para saan ba itong ginagawa n'ya pero hindi ko naman alam kung paano. May mga pagkakataon na nagbibigay s'ya sa akin ng mga bulaklak, chocolates, o minsan ay mga regalo. Minsan n'ya na rin akong niyayang lumabas pero hindi ko pinaunlakan. 

I always have a crush on Skipper Clint Vergara. Ayoko na mauwi na naman sa katangahan ang paghanga ko sa kanya. 

Two more months, and I was doomed. With Leah's encouragement, I made myself believe for a chance with him once more.  Walang linaw kung para saan ang mga ginagawa n'ya, pero heto ako at nahulog na naman. And this time, I know that I am in love with him. He's so sweet and caring. Kung noon na ako ang lapit nang lapit at nagpapapansin sa  kanya, this time he's the one making efforts for me. 

"Where are you going?" Kuya asked as he watched me descending the stairs. 

I am on a red dress and black stiletto. Clint invited me to a formal dinner. Pinaunlakan ko na s'ya ngayon dahil gusto ko na rin itanong at maging malinaw na kung nanliligaw ba s'ya sa akin. He requested for me to wear a red dress and to make my lips so red. 

I don't know what's this for but I just dressed myself up. I feel good about myself with what I'm wearing anyway. 

"I'll be out for a dinner," I smiled at my brother. 

Kumunot ang noo ni Kuya Frigate. "With whom? A guy?"

Hindi ko mapigilan ang kilig ko. I smiled at my brother then nodded. 

Tumaas ang kilay ni Kuya nang makita si mang Lando na pumasok ng sala at sinabihan ako na handa ang sasakyan. 

"He's not picking you up?" Kuya asked in an offended tone.

I giggled. "Hindi ko pa naman s'ya boyfriend, Kuya. It's not his responsibility to pick me up."

"Kahit na! He invited you out. He should have the decency to pick you up, and the balls to introduce himself to your family," masungit na sabi ni Kuya. "That man is up to no good. H'wag mo nang siputin at hindi mabuting tao ang ganyan."

I pouted. "He's  just busy with something, Kuya," I defended. "Trust me, I know what I am doing."

I don't know why Clint is not picking me up, but I am sure that it's not because he doesn't want to do so. He must have his reasons.

I got into the restaurant  just in time. Sinabihan ko na si Mang Lando na umuwi na. Magpapahatid na lang ako kay Clint pauwi at nang maipakilala na rin s'ya kay Kuya kong masungit.

My heart dropped when I saw that it was Von waiting for me on the reserved table. 

"I'm sorry, Hannah," Von gave an apologetic smile. "Clint suddenly got this flu so I came here instead."

"He could have just called or texted me," I said, not minding to hide my disappointment. 

Von shrugged. "Anyway, why don't we have our dinner then we can visit him after."

I sighed. "Alright."

Von pulled the chair for me then we placed our orders. Sayang din naman ang pag-aayos ko kung uuwi na ako. At isa pa, napaalis ko na ang driver. 

"We can visit Clint after this. Nasa hotel lang naman s'ya."

"He's not on his house?" 

Von shook his head. "He's actually on his way here. But his head suddenly hurt."

"And instead of calling me to cancel this dinner, he called you?" 

Von shrugged. "I don't know with that man, Hannah." He  laughed. "Anyway, you really are breathtaking."

"T-Thanks..."

I excused myself after the main course. I went to the bathroom and desserts were served when I got back. 

"I didn't order for this," I said as I pointed on a slice of cake in front of me. 

"I did," Von chuckled. "That's a very good cake. It's one of my favorite."

Nabanggit na n'ya kanina na kakilala n'ya ang isa sa mga chefs sa restaurant na ito. And in fairness, masarap nga ang cake kaya naubos ko. 

"I feel so full," I said after placing the glass of water down. 

"Shall we go to see the prince charming?" 

I laughed. "Alright."

Von helped me up then he lead the way to the entrance of the restaurant. His car was already parked on the driveway and he helped me get in. 

It wasn't a long drive to the hotel. We're inside the lift when I felt something weird within myself. I feel... hot.

I tried to shake it off and focused my mind on something else. Baka mainit lang talaga sa loob ng elevator. 

"Are you sure he's here?" I asked Von while I watched him opening the door with a key card. "Yep. Leah's here as well."

Nang marinig na nandito rin ang kaibigan ay napanatag ako. At si Leah nga ang nabungaran ko nang bumukas ang pinto. She's busy with something on the reception of the room. The room is a presidential suite so it was spacious and it has its own living room. 

"Bakit andito na kayo? 'Di pa tapos ang surprise!" Leah exclaimed and she hurriedly dropped what she's doing just so she can pull me and got me inside one of the two bedrooms of the suite. 

I can't help but got excited. Baka may surpresa si Clint sa akin?  Is this it? Magtatapat na ba s'ya? 

Biting my lower lip, I sat down by the edge of the bed. 

After few minutes, I started feeling woozy. My mind went hazy and my consciousness went on and off. 

When I got back to my normal self, I was alone on a bed with my whole body aching. 

"I remembered Clint opening the door of the room I was in," Hannah continued. "I remembered how hot my body felt back then. It was as if my skin was being scorched from within. He carried me then... I don't know. The next thing I knew, he and Von were shouting at each other. Von was convincing him to do what was planned. I saw Leah there, she fixing the bed. She's fixing me... my hair, and my dress. She cut off some parts of my dress to reveal some skin. I wanted to stop her but I can't feel my body. I can't control any of my muscles. I was awake, watching them," Hannah's eyes watered by the end of that statement. 

Gaius clenched his jaw. By this time, he was certain that Hannah has been drugged. 

"I can't control my body, but it is responding to Clint's kisses. And while I was treated like a doll on top of that bed, he's taking photos of me," Hannah continued. "I remembered how he positioned me on that bed. He made me lay on my stomach then he pulled my hips up. He gripped on my hair. My scalp hurts but his intrusion on my body is lot worse than that. It felt like I was ripped in half. He inserted his manhood on my butt hole. And he captured everything with his camera," Hannah cried. 

Caspian shut his eyes then massaged the bridge of his nose. Anger is starting to build within him. 

"At hindi pa s'ya nakuntento..." Hannah continued. "He asked Von to do the same thing to me. To penetrate me in the ass. And he went on with capturing everything. My facial expression, how I am hurting... everything." She sobbed. "I was violated. My body has been used. And everything were captured by that man. I did nothing but to love him. But he treated me like a whore."

"Goddamn," Caspian breathed.

"I tried to forget everything. I convinced myself to pretend that nothing happened. I woke up alone on that bed, with the petals they used on their photoshoot. And I realized that everything has been planned. Clint made me fall to make me do his biddings. I don't want to be his model so he made his moves. Kasabwat n'ya sila Von at Leah. I tried to talk to Leah but I can't reach her. Wala na s'ya sa hotel at nalaman ko na lang na nasa abroad na s'ya at kasama n'ya si Von."

"I tried to get over that nightmare. I tried to act normal. It was hard but I am giving my best..." Hannah gave out a pained smile. "Until the pictures got publicized. Those shots debuted Skipper Clint Vergara internationally. His collection that was entitled 'sensations' made him a well-known photographer. And he used me to got there. And as he reached his dreams, I reached my breaking point. My life got ruined. I wasn't named as the model, but knowing that eyes feasted on the images of my body was enough to break my dignity."

Gaius took a deep breath. "Forget everything, Hannah. Erase those nightmares from your being." 

After another minutes of hypnosis, Gaius managed to pull Hannah from her deep sleep. And replacing some parts of her memories, he's confident that she'll be able top live happy and free from doubts and self-disgust. 

"Never say a word to Carrack," Caspian uttered the moment Gaius stood up. "Magugulo lang ang pamilya nila."

_____________

NOTE:

And, yes. Skipper did it. On his defense, he's under the influence of illegal drugs that time. He doesn't remember most parts of those years of his life. Dax left him and he was desperate to get her back. Dax that time was with Liliadent, one of the most influential person on triads. He managed to 'buy' Dax on an auction of an underground society, and made her an international model. 

Wanting to get back on Dax's side, Skipper wanted to be a known photographer to make their paths cross again. And one way to be a step closer to that is to display his masterpiece in a gallery who will be hosted by a well-known art enthusiast whose main interest focused within human body and erotic arts. 

Mistaking Liliadent for a mafia leader who took the lives of his family, Von wanted his revenge. He befriended Skipper to use him to create conflict between Liliadent, and his favorite property - Darlene Aiyana. He convinced Skipper to go to any measure to achieve his dreams. And he's the one who drugged Hannah and manipulate Skipper into doing things. 

Skipper launched his shots in the art exhibit. That was his debut as an international photographer. He deliberately covered Hannah's face during the shoot to create more mystery, but he showcased her body well, even her most private parts.