I'm Your Alpha, not Your Luna

Rejection or acceptance?

Sawyer POV

Words can not describe the pain I was experiencing at that moment. My mate did not want me and ran away from me in front of her entire pack. I could tell she was strong and independent, and I could respect that, but even the strongest wolf needs its mate, if for nothing more than companionship and the ability to have children. I thought I didn’t care about finding mine, but after meeting her I know I can’t live without her. The Goddess made her to be my partner, meaning I was meant to be hers.

Mate doesn’t want us. Red grumbled. I’m sorry buddy, I still don’t understand what happened. I told him. He was no longer restless, which should have been an improvement, but him being super sad and heartbroken was much worse because it amplified my own feelings. Red did not say anything else in reply; he just retreated back into my mind to suffer in silence.

“I’m not sure what’s gotten into her, but Lexa should be able to talk some sense into her. Do not fret, Sawyer.” Fred said, laying a hand on my shoulder. After Lucy had taken off into the woods, I tried to chase after her, but Lexa had stopped me and said she would go after her. That left just the Alpha and I, so we went back to his office in the packhouse to wait.

“You seem to know Lucy well, are your families close?” I asked, both because I was curious and as an attempt to make conversation in the awkward silence. However, Fred began to laugh wholeheartedly in response to my question.

“You don’t know?” He asked, looking at me quizically.

“Know what, sir? I am very confused. What am I missing here?” I replied, feeling a little stupid about missing whatever was going on.

“Lucy is my daughter and the future Alpha of the Red Moon Pack. I apologize for not making it clearer. I assumed you knew. She is quite the talk of werewolf society, trying to be a female Alpha and all that.” Fred explained, sorting through some papers on his desk. “The girl that went after her, Lexa, is her best friend and her future Beta. Lexa is also the daughter of my Beta, which explains why the girls are best friends. They grew up together, have close birthdays, and even their names resemble each other. If anyone can calm her down, it’s Lexa.” He continued to explain.

I took a deep breath, it was a lot to take in. Not only was my mate an Alpha’s daughter, but he was his only daughter, meaning that she was supposed to take over the Alpha position. But it is more complicated than that, as there has never been a female Alpha since the creation of the Pack system about 50 years ago. Wolves are mainly patriarchal, so our leaders tend to be stuck in their ways and have been trying to find another solution for the Red Moon Pack other than a female Alpha. One of those solutions is waiting until she finds her mate and making her mate the Alpha. Oh s**t. Red muttered in my head. He seemed a little calmer after this new revelation, but he was still very anxious.

“I know why Lucy ran away,” I stated with no emotion, not really sure how I should be feeling.

“How do you know? Is her wolf communicating with yours? Indigo can have a very vibrant personality.” Fred asked, perking up a little.

Red whimpered at the mention of Lucy’s wolf’s name. I tried not to wince at the sound, but knew it was no use. My hurt was displayed on my face as if there was a sign above my head saying “hurt wolf” with an arrow pointing down at my face. “No, that’s not it. It’s because Lucy is afraid of finding her mate. There are rumors that the council plan to make her mate Alpha of Red Moon instead of her. I did not put it together until you told me who she was. Or at least, that makes the most sense to me, but I could be in denial trying to find any reason other than she just outright does not want me.” I finished sheepishly, looking down.

Fred scowled. “That damned council. I don’t understand why it is so hard to accept a female Alpha. Luna’s are an essential part of the pack, so why does it matter what gender an Alpha is. The position is rightfully hers, and not just because she is my daughter. I have never seen a wolf as dedicated to her pack as Lucy is. She works so hard to be the Alpha we all deserve, and I know she will be an even better Alpha than I ever was.” As he spoke, I could see the utter pride and adoration for Lucy reflected in his face.

“I honestly don’t understand it either, and I’m not just saying that because of Lucy being my mate. It was such a hassle for us to have Lottie as our Beta because she is a female, so I can’t even imagine what you all have been dealing with here. I’d never try to take the Alpha position from her, I’m perfectly content with being a male Luna and supporting her. I just wish she understood that and had given me a chance before immediately writing me off.” I said, starting to tear up again.

“Lucy will come around, just give her time. She’s been having a lot of nightmares about her Alpha Ceremony coming up, so she hasn’t been in the best mental place. I’m sure she just got overwhelmed with everyone watching and panicked. Lexa will set her straight.” Fred reassured me.

As soon as the words left his mouth, her scent filled my nostrils and I heard her voice. I immediately wiped my tears and tried to fix my face.

“See? I told you they’d be in here!” Her friend, Lexa I think, said matter-of-factly. They turned the corner and walked through the door. When my eyes met Lucy’s I couldn't control myself. I ran toward her, got on my knees in front of her, and said, “I understand why you ran away. I understand why you are afraid of having a mate. If you just hear me out, hell, I’ll even understand if you still want to reject me. Just let me say this first.” I looked up at her, waiting for her to say yes.

She nodded, which was better than a no I guess. I took her hands in mine and said, "Lucy, I swear to you I will never try to take you away from your destiny of being Alpha of the Red Moon Pack. No one is more worthy of this position than you. If you accept me, I will fight my hardest so that you can have the position and keep anyone from trying to take it away from you. I would love to be your male Luna and partner and to support you in every way I can. I have always supported the idea of female leadership-you can ask our Beta Lottie if you don't believe me. I will submit to you. Hell, I'm already on my knees for you. Please, just give me a chance. Give us a chance. Please." I tried so hard to plead my case. When I saw tears streaking down her face, I feared the worst. I tried not to flinch as she prepared to speak.

"I appreciate your honesty and your willingness to help me achieve my dream," Lucy began. Her voice was like music, but something told me that there was more she had to say.

"Why do I feel like there is a but at the end of that sentence?" I asked.

This made her laugh. She actually laughed at something I said. I couldn't help but smile up at her, even if she was about to reject me. "That's because there is. I'm not ready to blindly accept you as my mate yet. I need to see that what you are speaking is the truth and that you are not just lying to get me to give in to the mate bond. So no mating and marking just yet, but I will give us a chance and we can see where this goes." She finished with a smile. Lucy already spoke with such authority, it was kind of hot honestly. I could definitely get behind the badass woman that was my mate.

"That is fine by me," I said, pausing to kiss her left hand. "However long it takes, whatever I need to do to prove myself to you, I will do. I will always be here for you, whatever you need." I gazed up at her lovingly, waiting for her response. Lucy smiled down at me, and I just had to ask. "I know it is too early for a kiss, but may I hug you? I'm just so happy you didn't reject me. Oh, and I am Sawyer, by the way."

Lucy's smile grew wider. "I know who you are Sawyer. But yes, you may hug me."

I nearly panted when she said my name. I'd always thought my name was silly until I heard it leave her lips. As I stood and pulled my mate in for a hug, everything else disappeared but Lucy and myself. Her father and her best friend were not in the room, and we were not in a packhouse surrounded by nearly a hundred wolves. It was just my mate and myself. Red was howling with happiness and I was tempted to do the same. It was a slow start, but it was a start. My mate wanted to be with me, and she was hugging me. Things were already looking up. I should have known it would not last long.