22 • In This Life And The Next
I sat there, on the cold floor for what felt like hours. It could only have been minutes though. A million thoughts ran through my head, most of them self loathing.
And then, like a switch, everything went numb and I was on my feet before I even realized I was moving. I stumbled to the kitchen, half aware of my own actions.
And then I was yanking cupboards open, pulling out cleaning supplies and detergents. I knew I should stop, that I was spiraling, that all the progress I'd made was about to go down the drain.
But it was like my mind had shut down and I was pushing random buttons trying to get something, anything, to work.
I poured the boiling water left from when he'd made tea into a bucket. I didn't flinch when the hot water touched my skin, I barely
