HE WAS A SHE

CHAPTER 8: DETOUR OF PLAN

In our lives, we set goals and we make plans. I will finish school in my early 20s. I will find a stable job that pays well. I will buy a house after saving for five years or more, so in my mid-20s, I will be independent. In my late 20s, I will travel and conquer the world. I will enjoy life to the fullest. In my 30s, I’ll be starting my own family with the one I promised to be faithful to through thick and thin and for richer and poorer. In my early 30’s, I’ll be pregnant and start the journey of being a mom. You’ve probably heard a typical goal like this from anyone you met in your life. How nice it would be if everything happened along with the plans we have set. When I was young, I shared the same goal as others have. But, life for me was so tough. Slowly, those plans I set vanished into thin air. And here I am, after overcoming all the pain of the past, setting a new and different goal. But as I was slowly unfolding the truth that happened in the past, life suddenly had given me a detour from my goal. A detour I didn’t expect to happen in the first place. 

***

“You’ve probably heard what he said last night?” I asked Bobby on the phone while driving alone in the car after dropping my boss home first. 

“Yes,” he replied. “I’ve already done extensive research about his possible link to the case, especially his connection to your late sister. But, I’ve got none since he started working directly at MC Group right after your sister died. And since your sister is working for his half-brother—Mike, and knowing the former COO’s personality, he’s not someone who would associate his secretary with his family. So, there’s no possibility that they knew each other. But…” He halted for a while.

“But? Why did you stop?” I curiously asked. 

“I’ve found one suspicious thing,” Bobby replied. “Way back to your sister’s college days.”

“What about it?” I asked. 

“They met during their college days,” he explained.

“Who? Who are you talking about?” I mused.

“Your boss and your sister. They were classmates on one of the minor subjects way back in college.” He continued.

“So?” My curiosity has been piling up like crazy. “So, what about it then? What’s so suspicious about being classmates? Well, it could happen in life.”

“I just found something odd.” He added. “I’ve sent the picture on your email. See it for yourself and tell me if there is anything suspicious you saw in that picture. Then, let’s talk about it in person once you’ve arrived home. Bye! Take care, okay?”

“Picture?” I asked myself while scanning my email on my phone. My eyes rolled in shock. It was the same photo I’d seen when I rolled over my sister’s things in her room. But back then, I didn’t recognize the man on it since it was just the left side of him that was captured. But after seeing this picture once again and taking a closer look, it was really my boss. “Why are they together? Did they know each other since then? What is their relationship with each other to begin with?” A lot of questions keep on piling up in my head as I try to connect all the dots linking my sister and him.

Honestly, last night when I heard him saying my sister’s name in his dream, I wanted to confront him and ask him directly. I almost got carried with my emotions and was about to get busted. But, thanks to Bobby, I was able to control my emotions. 

“Oh! You’re here.” Bobby greeted them. “Did you receive my email? Have you seen the photo?”

“Yes, I saw it,” I replied while untucking my suit to loosen up a bit and catching my breath. 

“So, what about it? Did you find something odd? Or, did you remember something?” He asked while giving me a cup of coffee.

“Here! Take it.”

“Thanks” I replied after gulping the hot Americano. “Actually, I’ve already seen the picture before.”

“For real?” His eyes were in a full round and his eyebrows were raised. “Where? When?”

“ In my sister’s room. When I was packing her things a few months after she died, I was cleaning her room back then, since mom told me after seeing how paranoid my dad was about resolving the case. Mom wanted to move on and start a new life. Not because she had already forgotten my sister or something. But it was for my dad to finally heal and move on. Getting absorbed with the case so much has slowly set our family apart. So, one day, mom just instructed me to clean the room and not to leave any single thing that would remind us about my sister. So, as an obedient daughter, as I was, I followed his order and that’s when I saw that same picture you sent to me over the email.” I narrated. 

“Seriously? Why did you tell me about it?” he asked. 

“Back then I didn’t know the man in the picture. Plus, I don’t find any odd about it, since I know how popular my sister was during her college days. She has a lot of suitors. Some would even visit our house and express their intentions, although none of them were in our house after seeing my dad. Well, not that my dad doesn’t want my sister to be in a romantic relationship or get married someday. That’s just his personality as a father. I’ve heard him saying no one would be enough for my sister. She deserves better.” I added. 

“So, did your sister tell you about the man in the picture? Did she share something? Like, what's their relationship is?” he continued asking.

“Nothing.” I immediately responded.

“Are you sure?” He seemed doubtful. “Maybe you just forgot about it because it was too long ago. You’re too close to her, so she must have shared something like having a boyfriend or something. Think carefully! There must be something.” 

“Yeah, you’re right. We were really close back then and we shared our secrets, but not until in her last year of college that she started to change. She became moody and reserved like a simple question about your suitor to whom you said yes would irritate her a lot.” I uttered. “I thought she was just having a period on that day or things, getting tough at school since she was graduating soon. But as days passed by, I couldn’t get hold of her. The more when she moved to the city and started working at MC Group when she became distant all of a sudden. I visited her place one day and when I accidentally saw a man going out of her apartment she was pissed off to see me standing a few meters away from her place. Instead of explaining to me the situation, she just pushed me away and told me to never visit her place again.” I added.

“So, did you see the man that went out of her place back then?” Bob asked.

“No, I haven’t,” I replied.

“Why?” He sounded disappointed. “You said you were standing a few meters away from her place. How couldn’t you see the face of the man in the picture together with your sister?”

“Hey!” I punched his back. “I wasn’t wearing my eyeglasses on that day. Mom dragged me to visit my sister’s place immediately since she hasn’t gone home for too long. And you know how bad my eyesight is when staring from afar,” I explained. 

“Gosh! You’re not used. My goodness.” He deeply sighed.

“Ugh!” I stared at him feeling backstabbed upfront. “What did you say? I’m useless?” I shouted while punching him in the back. 

“Ouch!” He screamed. “I’m just joking, okay? Why are you pissed off these past few days? Back in the day, you would just laugh at my jokes to you. But now, you'll really change a lot.” He shook his head. “Easy, okay? Calm down. For sure, we will find something in the picture we have of your sister and your boss. Don’t worry. We’re just getting started, remember? And you know me, right? I won’t stop until I get the answers that I want. So, cheer up! Okay?” He positively responded. 

“Can we? Can we really do it?” I asked myself, not doubting my best friend’s ability but doubting if I could accept everything that I would discover along the way. “I mean we’re just getting started and yet the things I discover along the way weren’t the things I expected to know about my sister. I feel like she was a stranger to me all along. And I don’t know what more I could discover in the following days. I was scared of the many possibilities. I was scared of what if she committed suicide and there wasn’t foul play at all. What if she was just stressed out from work and wanted to escape everything so badly? What if dad was wrong? What if something he was fighting for when he was still alive was all for nothing? What if…

“We can do this, Eli!” belted Bob while suddenly hugging me sidewards. 

“Did he read my mind earlier?” I asked myself. “Are you a mind reader now?” I laughingly asked. “How come you know what’s running into my head?”

“How do I wish I could?” He sighed.

“Seriously?” I teased him. “You want to read minds? Who?” I continued asking. “Tell me! Whose mind do you want to read to?”

“You,” he softly answered. 

“What? Me? Why?” I curiously asked. 

“You…” He was stammering in his words. “Because I’m your friend. I wanted to help you as much as I could and being able to read your mind would help me know what’s going on with you even if you won’t say anything.” He added, and quickly, gulped a cup of water. 

“Uh! How thoughtful of you!” I smiled. “But, no thanks,” I added. “I mean even if we're friends there are still things I wanted to keep for myself only and sharing them with you would probably make me so uncomfortable. I like how things are going between us already. And having the ability to read minds would just make things awkward and chaotic. You know what I mean, right?”

“Yes,” he nodded. 

“And, you’ve already helped me a lot, so that for me is enough,” I added. “Thank you so much, bestie! I don’t know what I would do without you.” I clung to his arms while watching the strong rays of the sun striking the windows. 

***

In the evening.

“Oh! Good morning!” Bob, smiling, uttered while preparing some food over the dining table. 

I stood up and stretched my body while slowly opening my eyes. “What time is it?” I asked while scanning my phone. I immediately paced myself by fixing myself in front of the mirror. “I need to go,” I said. 

“You’re leaving already?” He asked.

“Yes,” I replied. “My boss had instructed me yesterday to see me at exactly 9 pm at his place. And I know of all people how much he hated tardiness among his employees. So, I really need to go. Bye!”

“Wait! But, I cooked your favorite food.” He insisted. “And for sure, it won’t get hurt to stay for a while and join me for dinner, right? I mean we haven’t done this for a while now. Ever since you worked at that company, you only drop by the house quickly and leave immediately.” He sadly added. 

“I’m sorry,” I uttered. “I wanted to stay but I couldn’t. You know what I mean, right? Plus, I need to be on his good side, especially now that he has started to trust me. I won’t waste this opportunity to know what his relationship with my sister was in the past. And maybe after finding the answer that I want, I will have a clearer answer to all my what-ifs. Save me for next time, okay? Bye!” I added while rushing outside. 

I was busy driving the car on my way to my boss’s place. I sometimes looked at myself in the mirror to see if I fixed myself well, erasing all the traces of the real me. “Nice!” I uttered after seeing everything was perfect. Well, it’s such a good thing to have a small and not-so-feminine face with a low tone voice. I didn’t expect that having these features would be so useful for me in completing this whole act of mine. In the past, I always felt insecure about it, but slowly I’ve learned to love myself. Now, I understood my sister’s words when she told me every time I felt insecure and envied how feminine and lady-like others were, especially my sisters, who were usually at the center of attention from everyone at school. She always wrapped me around his arms and whispered words like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's not about having a pretty face or a slim body that makes a woman beautiful. It’s about how you see yourself. We define ourselves. We can only be beautiful if we truly learn to love our whole being. That’s one of the things I missed about her. 

Meanwhile, after reaching the parking area of his place, my phone suddenly beeped. A text message had arrived and it was from him. 

‘Where are you?’ He texted.

“There he goes again with his bossy words,” I uttered. “Gosh! Just seeing his eyes popping out of anger with veins nearly bursting around his neck makes me cringe to my bones.” 

But as I was about to enter the elevator, he suddenly showed up dressed, not in his usual office suit. Tonight, he’s way different—something more casual. 

“Let’s go!” He uttered while tossing the keys of his car and immediately hopped in. “Would you just stand there until morning?” He added while sneaking out of the window of the car. 

I wanted to complain since this is way far from work hours and I barely had a night of better sleep after having a sudden-of-the--town trip. But as usual, his wish is my command. 

“Where are we going?” I asked after tucking in the seat belt. 

“Just drive.” He smiled. “I’ve already set the destination on the GPS. You will know once we arrive.”

I sighed deeply, looking so pissed off right now. “Yes, Mr. COO. I will drive now. Fasten your seat belt. Please sit comfortably and enjoy the ride.” I slowly uttered, and sounded like a flight stewardess. But deep inside, my blood was boiling with disgust. I mean who wouldn’t? He ordered me to come over to his place on my rest day and even reiterated not to be late, only for this—just to drive him somewhere. I was in a rush coming here thinking it was a very important matter, like preparing for a Monday meeting. I was in a hurry when I rejected my best friend’s invitation for dinner. I feel so disappointed because I knew he’d cooked and prepared my favorite dish. 

“We’re here!” he uttered. 

“Where are we?” I asked with a bit of pissed off on my face. “If you just want to have a nighttime view, you can just drive for yourself. Why would you hassle me over trivial things like that? And, this is beyond office hours. I haven’t had a blast in my days. My neck is still stiff and my whole body is sore. Hey! Why are you not responding? Huh!” 

“Tsadan….” He happily responded after the lights suddenly lit the whole place.

“Wow!” I uttered while the lights were dancing in my eyes. There were a lot of lights around the area. Some were hung on the tree while some were wrapped around the bushes. And in the center was a table filled with food. There was a small orchestra playing serene music, all which made the ambiance so perfect and nice. 

“Take a seat!” He smilingly uttered, pointing his hands at the chair he pulled. 

“What is his deal this time?” I asked myself while slowly approaching him. 

“This is your table napkin.” He added after placing the piece of cloth on my lap. “Cheers!” He added while pointing at the glass of wine in the front. “Let’s eat!”

“Sir? Can I ask something?” I uttered. 

“We’re here to eat some good food,” he replied. 

“What? Why?” I curiously asked. 

“Well, it’s my birthday today.” He replied with a smile. 

But looking at him, he’s a bit gloomy. And I could feel it. He was just playing as if he was fine, but I could see the sadness in his eyes. Well, that’s not something to be surprised at seeing how he decided to have dinner with his secretary instead of celebrating with his own family. “So, you should be celebrating your special day with your family. So, why are you here? Why are we here then?” I told myself. 

“Stop it!” He said. “Stop looking at me with those petty eyes. I know what you’re thinking right now. You might probably be thinking, ‘Oh! What was his deal this time? Why would he spend his special day with his secretary and not with his family? Ah! What a miserable man!’ Am I right?”

“Am I so obvious? How come all of you know how to read my mind? Are you a mind reader as well? Huh! What a hassle!” I murmured. 

“Uh! Mindreader? What are you babbling about?” He asked while chewing his food. “Ah! This hit the spot. Wow!” He shouted with joy. “This is what I’m saying.” He added while pointing to the food and giving a thumbs up. “This is what good food is all about.”

“Oh! Dig in. And enjoy yourself.” I added. 

I secretly smiled while seeing how much he enjoyed his food. “Fine! Since it’s your birthday, I’ll let this pass.” I told myself.

We finished the food in more than an hour. Yes, it took that long since it wasn’t just plainly eating but mixed with a lot of talking. Well, of course, it was him who was in charge of all the talk. I had to give it to him since it was his birthday. But with that one-hour dinner and a bunch of side stories about his life, I came to know more of him. I don’t know if the stories were real because I don’t know him personally and I always had this perception of people born of a golden spoon, as they say. And to tell you, those impressions are not good. But I could feel the sincerity in his words. 

After the main dinner, we stayed in a different area within the place. We sat on a bench under the tree while looking at the beautiful night view of the city and taking a sip of the hot brewed coffee perfect for the cold night breeze. 

“Thank you.” He suddenly uttered. 

“Suddenly?” I said. 

“You know these past few days, things have been so rough. Thank you for helping me even if I was so bossy around telling you to do this stuff here and there.” He said. “Thank you for staying. And thank you for spending my birthday together. I know this is such a hassle, since this is beyond your duty as my secretary. So, for that, thank you so much.” He added. 

“No worries,” I replied. 

“And listening to my story. And for not badmouthing or spreading my secrets to other people or the media,” he continued. 

“I’m not that pathetic to do that stuff,” I responded. “And I’m just doing my job. That’s what you told me during my first day at the company, remember? Those very words are penned on my mind with your glaring eyes.” I narrated. “Whatever you see or hear in the office should remain in the office and whatever you see and hear outside the walls of the company should also remain outside. And just keep your loyalty to me and we’re good.” I laughed while mimicking his voice. 

But out of nowhere, he suddenly leans his head on my shoulder. I was about to shrug my shoulders to push him away but he slept so suddenly. I looked pissed off after smelling the liquor on him. 

“What?” I shockingly uttered. “How could he be so drunk just after drinking a few glasses of wine?” I added while smelling his cup.

“Ah!” I screamed after the rick of alcohol filled my nose. “How could he carelessly switch his drink with a cup of beer instead of a cup of coffee? Such a fool!” 

I stayed seated while he was sleeping soundly, while letting the night pass off seamlessly. But it didn’t last long as my phone suddenly rang. It was Bella, Bob’s younger sister. 

“Out of a sudden?” I uttered. “Why would she call me late at night though?”

“Yes, Bella, what’s up?” I greeted. “What is it? Why are you calling me so late? And you should be sleeping now. You have school tomorrow.”

“I know.” She replied while giggling with excitement. Well, I know, since that’s part of his personality.

“Tell me! What is it?” I asked. 

“Well, Ate Eli…” She paused for a while. “I just want to thank you for spending my Kuya’s special day together. He must be so happy right now. Thank you.”

“Birthday? What do you mean?” I curiously asked. 

“Wait! You’re not with him right now?” She asked. “We were supposed to have dinner at home but he said he would go out for a bit. I asked him if he'd be having dinner outside with someone else. He just nodded. So, I presumed he’s spending his special day with you.” She explained.

“If you’re not with him right now, where could he be? I mean he left as soon as I arrived from school. And he’s not yet home until now.” She worriedly added and started to cry.

“It’s okay, Bella. I will look for him, okay?” I uttered. “Just stay at the house. He might come home while you're away. So, stay at home and wait for him. I’ll call once I’ve reached him, okay? Just calm down.”

“Okay.” She finally calmed down. 

“Bye!” I added.

“Where could he be?” I asked myself. “Such a fool, Eli! How come you forgot your best friend’s birthday? Of all the days, Eli, why?” I screamed, making my boss wake up all of a sudden. 

“Why?” He slowly opens his eyes. “Why are you screaming so loud? What is it?” 

“Nothing!” I replied. “Thank goodness you’re awake. I really have to go. Let’s go. I’ll drive you home. And, it’s getting late too.”

“Why? Why are you in such a hurry? Is something wrong?” He asked. 

“Nothing. I just wanted to rest at home. Tomorrow is Monday, isn’t it? So, it means the start of a hectic week. And Sir, you should also get some rest. I mean there is still a current issue over the weekend. We have to resolve it as soon as possible. You know what I mean, right?” I uttered. 

“It’s okay if you can’t tell me the real reason why you’re in a hurry. It’s okay. You can go.” He said.

“But…” I tried insisting, since I knew he was a bit drunk.

“I’m fine. I can handle myself.” He added. 

“But, you’re drunk,” I asserted.

“Don’t worry. I will just call a chauffeur to drive me home. So, don’t hassle yourself. Just go and do what’s been troubling you. Just looking at you right now, it must have been so important. So, just go. And take the car with you.”, he added.

“Okay.” I conceded. “Thank you for the dinner, Sir. Happy birthday. And, goodbye!” I added while rushing to the car. 

I called Bobby’s phone but he was not answering any of them. I drove the car and went to every place I thought he would be. I went to the park we usually visited during his birthday or every time he wanted to take a breath but he was not there. I went to his favorite restaurant but he was not there, either. And lastly, I went to the playground. The place that holds a special memory for both of us. It is where we first met as a child. The whole area was so dark and quiet. I searched for him everywhere until I saw him sitting on the swing. I walked slowly towards him. 

“What are you doing here all alone?” I asked, trying to sound as if I didn’t notice him crying after seeing him turning his back and wiping his tears away.

“Nothing. I just wanted to free my thoughts.” He responded. 

“I’m sorry,” I uttered. “I’m sorry for forgetting your birthday. I know it might sound like an excuse, but I’m so sorry, Bob.” I sadly added. 

“Can you just choose me this time, Eli?” He sobbed.

“Bob?” I sniffed. 

“I like you, Eli. I really do.” He suddenly confessed.

“I like you too, Bob. You know that, right?” I tried to sound casual.

“But not the way you looked at him.” He suddenly uttered. 

My eyes rolled into surprise. “What is he talking about?” I asked myself.

“I followed you after you left the house. I think it’s just my curiosity. Or, I guess I just wanted to confirm that my instincts were wrong. That you’re not falling for him—for your boss. But, when I looked at you from afar, my instincts were right all along.” He explained. “You’re falling for him, right?”

It was the first time I saw my best friend cry that way. And to know that it was all because of me, I feel disappointed in myself. All I did was receive things from him. He’s always been good—not just good but the best. That’s why he’s my best friend after all. But, me? All I gave him was hurt and pain. I couldn’t give him the answer he wanted. I wish I could. Truly, life has its way of surprising us in such an unexpected way. A sudden detour I’m not always prepared for.