Loves moves in mysterious ways

Chapter 18

She knew that her parents were perturbed and concerned by the abrupt change in her, but although once or twice her mother had tried to bring the conversation round to James, Kirstin had fobbed her off.

The way she felt about him was far too painful to discuss with anyone else.

Perhaps if Carol had not been away in Hollywood, she might have been able to talk to her.

Only this morning Kirstin had received a post card from her confirming the date of the baby's expected birth, and telling Kirstin that John had still had no success in replacing her.

It was too late to now to acknowledge that she would have been wiser to have gone with them.

She had made her decision with the best intentions.

The before the beginning of March brought a fresh snowfalls,and the knowledge that their love making was not to result in a child.

While logically she knew she ought to be relieved, and that she had been a fool to take such a risk, deep down inside Kirstin was aware of an atavistic sense of loss and failure as though somehow in not conceiving the child of the man she loved she had shown herself to be less of a woman.

She reasoned with herself that an illegitimate child was the very last thing she wanted, but even while she knew it to be true,there was still a feeling of emptiness inside her.

James was asking after you yesterday, her mother commented, watching her as she stood with low emotion before the sitting room window staring out side in the garden. Mild snow fall and had been forecast for later in the day,but as yet there was no sign of it in the clear deep Turkish arc of the sky and a bit the light of the sunshine.

Despite the sun, it was bitterly cold,well bellow freezing, and only that morning had the snow plough cleaned the way up the line.

Kirstin, can't you tell me what's going on?

Can I help at all? her mother asked low tone when Kirstin had no reaction to her earlier hearing.

You can't go on like this.You are losing you weight you've become so different that your father and I hardly recognise our daughter anymore, and James doesn't look much better. If you've arguement, surely you could make it up? It wasn't that sort of argument, Kirstin told her sadly, refusing to turn back.

The very sound of James's name of someone else's lips was enough to start the sily weak tears she cried at night in your room crying over and over again.

Your Dad,tells me that Jessa has gone and back to Germany.

The coldness that jolted through her, hope mingled with despair, warned her how very vulnerable she was.

She told herself that Jessa's leaving here means nothing, and that kn any case even if James relationship with the other girl has petered out,there was still absolutely no hope of him every feeling about her the way she did about him.

By this very words of her about Jessa's desire for a second marriage, he had shown how far any sort of permanent commitment was from his own mind, and she loved him far too much to be his partner in a meaningless sexaul affair.

Talking of Jessa,I've heard other fascinating piece of hearsay about the Page Family.

You'll never guess what's. The General and Frau Samantha are going to get married!,Actually he's been in love with her for years, and they had plan to get married but her father refused his permission.

He insisted that Frau Samantha marry her childhood friend,and she and General a big quarreled bitterly about it.

The Lawyer's wife told me the whole what happened.

The ceremony is to take place in the Page private chapel, and there's to be a wedding lunch there afterwards.

I think it's one of the most remarkable wedding of the year that whole story i heard of,don't you Kirstin?

I suppose he's never stopped loving her for all this time.It was inspirational romantic.

And Kirstin was pleased for them both, but somehow hearing about the happiness of others only served emphasise her own misery.

I hope the snow holds off,she heard her mother sigh.Your father and I are due to visit the Sampson tomorrow.

We haven't seen them since last year after Christmas.

Susan and Danny Sampson were very close friends of Kirstin parents and lived in Magdeburg.

they had spent Christmas and New year with their daughter and her family.

but had recently returned, and apparently James had agreed that her mother was now well enough to go and visit them.

I know Susan, would be delighted to see you if you want to come with us.

Kirstin shock her head. No thanks, Mom, I'm not feeling so good very sociable at the moment.

In fact, now that you're properly on the situation to soon recovery, I shall have to do something about finding my self another maybe a new job.

I'll have to start getting all the documents the Germany requirements.

But Kirstin your father and I had hoped you well stay, but okay well Kirstin its your life my swettie. Will support what so ever it's does.

Early the next morning Kirstin's parents set out for Sampson.

They had been out less than an three hours when the sky clouded over ominously, the wind picking up in velocity.

Watching the first furious flurries of snow drifting in the high-speed winds,Kirstin shivered, and prayed that her parents made it to their friends safely.

four an hours later when the phone rang and she heard her mother's voice on the line and she was not surprised when she told her that they had decided to stay one day in Sampson and spent whole day and one night with their very close friends.

I think you're very clever Dad. its snowing so heavily I can bearly see the drive from the window, and it's drifting like mad.

Yes it's the same here, although its only just a few an minutes started.

You must have got it before us. The local forecast isn't at all good, and the last thing your father needs right now is to be stranded in a snowdrift.

She is worried about you, though Kirstin.Will you be all okay on your on?I am a big girl now Mom,I am all right. and Mom, I've been living my own alone for a several years remember?

She heard her mother chuckle and was glad that she had managed to reassure her.

She felt guilty because she knew that her parents had been worried about her.

She knew that she ought to make an effort to seem more cheerful.

After another five teen minutes on the phone she managed to reassure her mother that she wasn't either going starve or freeze to death in the brief space of so many an hours, and then she hung up.

The day stretched endlessly in front of her.It was only just a coffee time, although out side it was almost dusk,and it was showing so heavily it was impossible to see where earth ended in the clouds began.

She hadn't exaggerated when she told her mother that it was impossible to see the lane from the window, and when she went to open the back door to bring in a supply of logs from the outside the house, just incase the central heating should happen to go off, the force of the wind whipped it from her fingers, smashing It back against the wall with a harsh thud.

Already snow had drifted over a foot deep against the door, and she had to go back inside and don her anorak and wellies before she could go and get the logs.

It took her several experiences to bring in enough.

Her Parents, with almost a lifetimes experience of winter blizzards, had advised her to keep the sitting room fire going at all times, and even to sleep down there if necessary should the central heating fail.

She was just stamping the snow off her wellingtons when she heard the sound of a car motor sound.

Confusing she step a few walk stared towards the street and seeing the a black pick up truck Ford, emerging through the blizzard.

Stopped it front our gate, and the motor still on and the driver door is opened.

His Tall and dark hair head was,bare his hair whipped by the wind and whitened by the flakes of snow.

Even clad in wellies and hard padded winter jacket, Kirstin felt heartbeat rapidly when she recognised was James.

What was he is doing to be here?

He didn't speak until he drew level with her his curt,Kristin, Please I need you; I need to help me, I thinking what is it happened I can't move it a bit shock.

And making her stare silently.

Come on, I haven't not much time. I saw an found a animal down the street, has gone into difficulty to labour.

It she was Jessa, he wouldn't be treating her so cavaliery.

If she was Jessa.

She punched the old velour dressing-gown she was shoving into her rollbag with unnecessary vigour and then grimaced to herself.

If she was Jessa, no doubt she wouldn't be packing serviceable woollies and dressing-gown but sheer silk underwear and the sort of nightwear that no woman in her right mind ever wore to keep warm.

He was just replacing the receiver when she went back downstairs.

Your Mom, and Dad, were worried about you.

Apparently they tried to call this morning to check that you were all right.

I've explained the situation to them and your Father,said you weren't to worry,and that they would be back the next day after breakfast.

So he wasn't to worry, Kirstin thought grimly as she allowed James to take her bag and then waited impatiently while he locked the front door.

He was she supposed to feel, forced to spend the night with the man she loved and wanted in her life.

Knowing how little desired her?She only hoped that he gave her a bedroom with a lock on the door, so that she wasn't tempted to sleepwalk into his bedroom and betray herself completely.

Oh, I'm not worried at all,she assured him nastily, refusing to allow him to help her into the Ford Ranger, but Jessa might be if she knew that the two of us were spending the night together.

He was right, she was behaving like an absolute brat, she thought guiltily, watching the angry flush of colour seep up under his skin.

She only hoped that he wouldn't realise that it was sheer jealously that was making her so objectionable.

Spending the night together is hardly the way I would describe our situation.

He practically gritted the words through his teeth, throwing them over his shoulder at her as he started the motor.