Loves moves in mysterious ways

Chapter 17

She was the one in shadow now,while the firelight revealed the taut impatience of his body to her.

She shivered, her eyes and hands drawn to the male perfection of his body, wanting to touch him, but almost afraid to do so.

Heaven, yes Kirstin yes, he groaned against her mouth, seeing the desire in her eyes and taking her hand to place it against his body.

Beneath her fingers she could feel the fierce throb male desire, and she gave herself up,to letting him show her how he liked her to touch him.

I can't stand much more of this. I want you too badly. His voice sounded hoarse and thick as though it had difficulty in escaping from his taut throat.

Her body welcomed the heavy weight of his as he moved her so that he could lie between her thighs.

Her pulse hammered against her skin.

She wanted him so much.She moved her hips, writhing impatiently against him,and heard him catch his breath.

His hands moved over her body touching her even in his extremity of need making sure that she really was ready for him,

Kirstin recognised intuitively.

No one had ever touched her so intimately, but her body felt no shyness or self conscious hesitancy, impatient for more than the delicate caress of his fingers against her eager flesh.

James,,She moaned his name, with out being aware that she had done so, and felt him surge against her.

Yes he said fiercely against her mouth yes.

And he moved and she felt the awesome matching of their bodies, hers untutored but eager to accommodate and welcome her powerful thrust of his, his knowledgeably but held in check by a mind that cared enough about her s*x to want to give as well as take pleasure.

All these things Kirstin dimly recognised somewhere beneath the flood of desire swelling inside her,just as she also recognised and registered the instinctive tightening muscles unused to such intimate pressure

Immediately her body registered James's faint hesitation, but reality had long ago been left behind and her hips lifted and moved enticing him,her legs wrapping round him, holding him within her so that he was forced to respond and carry her with him though the sharply searing pain that faded as quickly as it had started and upwards to a place far beyond any mortal boundaries where they could both share the explosive delight that ran like quicksilver through their bodies contorting them delirious spasms of pleasure that went on and on into infinity before finally leaving them both exhausted and spent.

From a great distance away Kirstin heard James call her name. She could feel tears of happiness gathering in her eyes as she opened them to look at him.

For heaven sake, it's too late for tears now, she heard him saying roughly, but already the world was slipping away from her and she was sliding into a deep, warm, black abyss.

She came round almost immediately to find that James had propped her up against some cushions he had taken from the sofa and covered her with his suit.

She could smell the scent of him on it and she wanted to curl into it and wrap it round her,but he was standing in front of her, zipping up his jeans, frowning down at her.

Kirstin, for heaven sake, why didn't you tell me you were still virgin? She heard the censure in hi voice and recoiled from it.

Watching his mouth tighten.

Oh Christ, don't be even more stupid than you already have.Why? if you wanted a man that badly.

It was as though he had driven a sword straight through her heart.

You were the one who made the first move, she reminded him shakily.

She felt at a disadvantage lying at his feet covered in nothing more than a suit. Can you please give me my clothes?

He obeyed her, almost throwing them at her. The front of her dress was ripped almost to the waist .

How on earth was she going to explain that to the hirers?

Forgive me for your gown, I didn't mean it to do that.He sounded more indifferent than sorry, and self confidence made her snap at him.

You were wrong you know John didn't buy it for me. I hired it.

Then of course I'll pay for the damage. She couldn't believe that not seventeen minutes ago, they had been sharing the ultimate human experienced.

It was like stepping into a surrealistic dream.

I shouldn't have made love to you like that,he said grittily.

I had no right. If I'd known that you were still a virgin.

Of course he wouldn't have made love to her if he known, Kirstin acknowledged.

He had expected her to be as experienced as he was himself, he had desire her and had felt free to want a woman who had other lovers, in a way he had no felt free to want her eighteen years old self.

Sickeningly, she wondered if he thought she would expect some sort of commitment from him now, and if he was trying to warm her off.

The humiliation of it struck right through to her aching soul.

It does take again, James, she told him brittlely.

I shouldn't have let you.

You'll have to put it down to my frustration at losing John losing him?

Yes he and Carol have gone to live in the LA.

You mean you bargained for him with your virginity and now that he hasn't taken the bait, you decided you might as well as with get over your physical frustration with me,as well as with anyone else.

It sickened her that he could think such a thing of her, but it offered her an escape route with her pride intact, so she acknowledged his words with a brief inclination of her head.

We were both using one another, weren't we? She suggested with a tight smile.

I suspect that I was no more than a substitute for Jessa.

U mean Jessa? looking for a marriage to get married again.I can't give her those things.

I think I'd better go now.

He seemed reluctant to move.

You I.He frowned and turned to look at her.If I hurt you in any way....

Kirstin knew what he meant and her face blushing.

He was,after all, doctor, but she still felt humiliated that he could revert to a professionalism so soon after arousing her to heights that still lingered inside her.

I'm fine, she told him shortly.I want to go home now,James.

I'll take you.

It was something of a shock to discover that she had been with him for a little more than two hours.

The outside light burned over her parents front door, but there was no sound from their bedroom as she tiptoe past.

That was just as well,it would have been very difficult to find an excuse for her destroyed dress.

When she had taken it off she packed it away carefully in its box, so that no one else could see it.

Her body ached slightly now,but it was a pleasurable, voluptuous ache,an ache in fact, that reminded her body of the pleasures it had known and that held out the lure of repeating them.

Only in her case there would no more repetition. She know that. James had simply used her, but she couldn't wholly blame jim,after all, she had made no attempt to stop him,had she?Indeed some people might say that she had actively encouraged him.

Somehow life went on,although to Kirstin in daze of misery and pain,it seemed to have become something to be endured rather than enjoyed.Her mother was now spending several hours a day out of bed, and Kirstin was a great pains to be unavailable whenever James called at the house.

The shock of his arrival the day after the Night ball still lingered with her.

She had Expected that he would be as eager to avoid her.as she was him.She had told him then,that she didn't want to see him again. She couldn't have burne him guessing how she felt about him and pitying her for it.

Luckily the hire company had been able to get the dress repaired, and now, if she was sensible she would put the entire events of that night right out of her mind.

The only trouble was that no matter how firm she was with herself during the day time at night in her dreams she lost complete control, and dreamed on James again and again,often waking up with tears still damp on her skin.

Only this morning her mother had remarked on her listless expression and loss of weight, commenting that anyone would think that she was the one who had been sick.

Soon her Mother would be able to manage without her.

Originally Kirstin had contemplated staying in Bavaria and finding a job in München or Nunberg, but that had been before she had realised that James had come home.