Loves moves in mysterious ways

Chapter 9

She had done the right thing, the only thing in the circumstances.She loved him to much too settle for a brief affair, no matter how passionate.

For over a week she saw nothing of James, and she told herself that she was glad.

The snow her father had prophesied fell heavily one night, smothering the countryside in a soft white blanket.

A fierce frost on top of the snow kept them virtually housebound, but Kirstin discovered, after the second occasion on which she deliberately kept out of the way when her mother was due for her daily visit from the doctor, that James had as a little desire to see her as she see her mother, but his partner.

She had already typed up the notes she had taken at the committee meeting,and telephone calls from both the General and Frau Samantha had confirmed that they were going ahead with their plans for the Night dance ball.

As soon as the weather conditions permitted, Kirstin went with her father to Rarecastle and spent the morning in a small,dusty stationers,

tucked away down a side street, where the proprietor had to move aside huge bundles of out of date legal stationery before he could find for her a book containing sample invitation cards.

Bearing in mind the nature of the event, and the probable reaction of Jessa Perez to anything she might choose, she deliberately decided oo the largest and most formal card available and left her order with the shop.

Her father,

who had a business of his own to conduct with the fellow solicitor in the town,had suggested that they have lunch together in a Mexican restaurant that had always been one of her favourites as a child.it had changed hands several times since Kirstin had first dined in it,

and the pretty soft lavender and rose pink decor chosen by the latest proprietors was very warming on such a cold and miserable day.

The building was a new one,and the proprietors had made the most of its low ceilinged, beamed interior.

A good fire burned in the grate, and when Kirstin gave her name, she was informed that her father had not yet arrived, and offered a comfortable seat in one of the huge leather chairs in the bar area.

She had just ordered a drink when the door opened and another couple came in.

Her heart seemed to stand still, gripped in an intolerable vice of pain as she recognised James and Jessa,the latter clinging possessively to James's arms.He looked at Kirstin without smiling,his eyes grim and forbidding.Tears rose up inside her,forcing her to look away, her bottom lip caught up in her small teeth.

Her surroundings blurred dangerously as she looked frantically into the fire,willing her tears to subside.She couldn't break down in front of them like this. James was right.

She hadn't grown up" she was behaving in a way that would have disgrace and nineteen years old never mind a woman of twenty-six.

My goodness, what a small world " Jessa said in an affected low accent.

But then,I suppose in such a backwater one has to expect to run into people one knows.Are you alone?

Her disparaging glanced suggested that she must be, and Kirstin had difficulty in summoning a voice polite enough to answer her.

No I'm not,I'm waiting for my father.I came with him this morning so that I could order the invitations for the Night ball.

Oh! you should have left that to me Mum uses this marvellous man in Germany.

The artificial voice grated on Kirstin too tender nerves. She told herself that there was something faintly ridiculous about a grown woman in her late twenties referring to her parents as Mum,

Sweetheart, I'm dying for a drink,Jessa continued.Something civilised. I'll let you choose for me.

You know what I like.

It took all her willpower for Kirstin not to look away as Jessa batted her eyelashes at James.

A little grimly she wondered when the other woman would realise that she was overdoing things a little and that James was not in the least remotely interested in Kirstin herself.

She would have thought that the cool way in which he had acknowledged her presence would have been enough.

The look of rejection and dislike in his eyes had surely been explicit enough even for someone as patently dim as Jessa appeared to be.

While James went over to the small bar, Jessa leaned forward maliciously.

What do you plan to wear for the ball?

I thought I might have something new made.My auntie suggested that I go to John again....John Pancho that is.

His design are simply super.

Kirstin only just managed to bite back the tart comment that there was absolutely no need for her to underline the disparity in their financial and social positions with a such name dropping.Fortunately,

before she could give rein to her acid thoughts,James was back.

Without even having to look at him, Kirstin was acutely conscious of him,and of the way he choose to sit down on Jessa's far side as far away from her as possible.

He had no need to underline the fact that he wanted nothing more to do with her,

she thought wretchely, that much was already abundantly clear.

Since their last meeting she had had time to think properly about what he had said to her,and accept the truth of his heated comments.

Of course he could have made love to her; of course he had morally bound to turn her down,

and of course now she could understand why he had felt it so incumbent upon him to frighten her with the reality of where her foolishness might have led.

What perhaps both of them had underestimated had been the intensity of her feelings for him.

Whereas she had no doubt now that he had only meant to shake her into realisation of what she was doing to herself, he had actually instilled in her such an intensely of doubt and self-loathing that he had effectively paralysed her instinctive reactions.

I was just telling Kirstin that I'll have to go to Germany to arrange to have a new night dress gown made for the ball.

Jessa pouted provocatively and smiled at him.

Why don't you come with me,Sweetheart?It will do you good to have a break.

You work to hard so much.

The despairing sickness inside her seemed to bloom and grow as Kirstin was forced to listen to their conversation.

She turned away,

not wanting to hear James's reply so thoroughly relieved to see her father walk into the restaurant that she almost spilled her drink as she got up to greet him.

Hi! James,I didn't expect to see you here .I had to come to Newcastle on the business,.And I'm afraid I came with him to distract him,.Jessa cooed.

Kirstin could see that it was on the tip of her father's tongue to suggest that they all launched together, and she knew that to watch Jessa flirting with James over the lunch table was more than she could endure.

She had always been blessed with a particularly vivid imagination, and she didn't need any prompting from Jessa yo guess that the two of them were lovers.

A man with the strong sexaul drive she had sensed when James had kissed her would not deny it herself the company of an attractive and willing woman for very long and why should he?

Daddy if you don't mind, I'd rather go straight home than to eat here.I'm not....I'm not yet really hungry.

She didn't care any more how betraying her admission might be.She didn't care even care about the level,

glinting look James gave her as she turned to plead with her father.

All she cared about was getting out of the intimate, nice atmosphere of the restaurant and escaping from the knowledge that being in the same room as James at this particular moment in time was more than she could bear.She saw her father frown,

but as though he sensed her desperation he agreed calmly, Well well if that what you want...... I must admit I'm never too happy about leaving your mother for very long alone.

He went across to explain the change in plans to the owner, and paid for Kirstin's drinks,

and as they walked out into the raw,cold afternoon Kirstin wandered a little of the dreadful comprehensive contempt she had seen in James's eyes as he watched her to out in restaurant.

Kirstin phone call for you, Her heart thumped as she walked through into the hall. She had told herself she was behaving crazily, and that James was hardly likely to be telephoning her,specially since she knew from seeing him in Restaurant three days ago that she was obviously dating with Jessa, but even so,

the flutters in her stomach didn't settle until she spoke into the receiver and heard Carol's familiar voice answering her.

Carol!but......

I'm sorry to disturb you Kirstin, but I desperately need your help.John is due to fly out to Hollywood in a couple days,and you what he's like. Its panic,

panic and now can't seem to find the manuscript for Father's and Daughters,

He swears that it should be filed with all the others, but it isn't there, and you know how impossible he can be when he gets into the one of his moods.

He wants to take it with him, because it seems the Americans might be interested,

and you're my last hope.' In spite of her own mesiry Kirstin grinned to herself.

John's methods of finding were notorious, as were the moods he flew into whenever anyone dared to criticise or complain about his lack of proper methods.

'Well, I can't think of anywhere offhand.Have you tried the pending file? Or the one marked L....? L....? queried.

For mistakes,' Kristin informed her with another grin.

I've looked everywhere, and I'm at my wits end.

She sounded it, and Kirstin felt a surge of sympathy of her.

Look ,I know it's an awful imposition,but I was wondering if you could possibly come down.

We could put you up overnight, and you could go through the files with me.You know what a calming effect you always have on John.

At this moment in time I'd happily file him under "L" for Lion',she added feelingly.

Oh,Carol, I'm afraid I can't.

There was an unhappy silence that made her feel extremely uncomfortable, and then her father, who had walked out into the hall queried,Can't what?

Can't go to Germany,

Kirstin told him, covering the receiver.

Carol can't find one of John's plays,and she wanted me to go down there and give her a hand.

Nonsense.Of course you can go.Do you good, if you ask me, her father added vigorously.

You need a break. Besides, you'll be able to get yourself something for this Grand Dance Ball.

Kirstin frowned. She could hardly explain to her father or to Carol why she didn't want to see John again.

She gnawed at her bottom lip and then heard Carol asking anxiously if they had been cut off.

I'm still here. Look Kirstin I hate to pressure you,but I really do need your help.

You've no idea what it's like down here! John is driving me mad and besides her voice seemed to fade away a little and then rallied again as she said with a false brightness that cut Kirstin to the heart,

I don't need to pretend with you. I suspect that he's deep in the throes of a few affair, and it's making him more unbearable than ever.

While her heart went out to Carol, Kirstin couldn't help thinking that if she was right and Carol knew her husband very well indeed then she herself need have no fears about seeing John.

Well, if you really need me.....Oh,you're a sweetheart! When you come?

Before she hung up it was arranged that Kirstin would catch the early morning train from RareCastle for the following day,and that she would stay overnight with her old employer's before returning home.

She was touched almost to tears that evening when her Father called her into his study room, and after much dession presented her with an extremely generous cheque which he told her she was to use to buy herself a ball dress gown.

When she protested at his generosity, reminding him feelingly that she had already caused him expense by damaging her mother's car,

he told her not to be so silly,adding bracingly,Besides, you've got the honour of Roteskruez to uphold you know,Can't have our local girl being outshone by an incomer!

Kirstin laughed,

but she didn't have the heart to tell her parents that, generous though his cheque was,It would hardly buy her a gown that could compete with the Gabrielle outfit with which Jessa was planning to dazzle them.

To save her father having get get up early, she ordered a taxi to take her to Newcastle for the early morning train. When her alarm went off at five,

she groaned, and went through the motios of getting shower and dress,feeling like a tired.

She didn't feel much better when she actually got on the train and eschewed the dining car,

to curl up and catch up on her shortened in the comfort of her seat in the first class section.

It was a welcome surprise to discover that Carol had come to the station to meet her.

You shouldn't have bothered, Kirstin protested, when she had disengaged herself from her welcoming hug.

I could easily have made my own way to Luxembourg,and you must have a hundred and one thing to do.

A busied and one,

Carol agreed ruefully,but I needed the luxury of a familiar shoulder to cry on.