The Way They Disappeared

Septus 1115-09 Dear Whoever, It's so weird to be writing this today. I want to be with all my other classmates but we both know that's not happening so... it's me and you. I know, I know, you want the deets... well, first today was the last day of school for the humans. Dasha says that because I still pass as one I must honor their laws. I think that's crazy. I AM NOT HUMAN. okay, half of us is human. Dasha never lets me forget it either. All the other pups (Dasha's name for them), don't integrate as well as I do. I think I used to believe it was a compliment... not sure any more. We have to revisit that one. Oh and in 6 short nights I will be Najie 45!!!! This is my time to be paired. I want to be excited about that too, but Dasha said I can't be paired until I take the Warrior's Run. I think it's not fair. The Mothers stopped coming to the New Moons of pups, and the Seers have not contacted the hoarde to give our next rations rendevou. Things have been eery and strange. Jarai bumped into me at dinner. Myora said I should go for it if Dasha allows me to go to pairings. I don't think he even knows I exist. He's still a full blood... and I'm half his size. I think he would have stepped on me if I didn't yelp. Ugh so embarrassing. All he said was "sorry Pup"... Geez! He didn't even use my calling. Is it so bad to say "sorry Ronnie" or "apologies Ronnaisha". Ugh. And the way Dasha scooped me out of the way. Goddess I felt so stupid. Okay, let's forget that for a moment. So, Myora was just added to my pup group. It seems every week more Pups run away. I don't think they are running away at all. I have no idea what is hapening but it's the Pups who are most valued by the Najie. Half breeds with Najie souls. Ranken stood so tall and had the most wonderful laugh, but when he would be angry or sad, the rains and thunders would mimic his mood. I miss him so deeply it hurts. I wont believe that he would leave me here in this horrible hoarde. Even if he found a new hoarde or the lands from before, I know he wouldn't leave me. Okay, maybe our hoarde isn't horrible. I know Dasha did not have to care for me. I am her sister's Pup. They will never say what happened or where she is... Shanjaino, my Mother. When the moon is full and high Dasha cries because she says I look just like her. I wouldn't know. I have never seen her. Although her name is said with sad reverence, her likeness is nowhere in the hoarde. Maybe that is the reason they keep me locked away when the other Pups who pass get to go out and live a normal life. I want a normal life. I'm just not sure what that looks like. Back on track.... human commencement services. So apparently, when humans are done with school aka training, they get to graduate. Really interesting gathering where the elders tell them life is going to be amazing all of a sudden because they are no longer in school. Dasha said I can't go. I have a robe and cap like the other students but mine has an extra stripe of color across the right shoulder and down to my heels. We are never seperated from our non mixed counterparts until big events such as these. The modern humans will allow us to walk the stage if we have caused then no trouble, afterall... we are in part just like them. I look like them. I am small in stature, my voice doesn't echo the wa ythe older Najie do. I have no gift of fire, rains, earth, or wind. I have no special inclination for alchemy. I hate to be associated with that species. They conserve nothing. They drain the land, it's people, and even the spirit of love and adventure in the wildlife. I don't know... it feels like they tolerate us, but there is always something more bubbling under the surface with humans. But, some humans... aren't so bad. I wanted to see Delia take the stage, and the twins, Christopher and Michael. Delia is beautiful. I can't even say for a human. She is simply beautiful. Her eyes are dark and she rarely smiles. But, when she does it's pure alchemy. We all light up with her. I thought the twins were going to be marked Najie because humans never have multiples, the Najie do. Alas, the twins are full blood human. The doctor said that it must be part of an ancient genetic mutation... just like the Najie. Why do they teach their young that the Najie are a dysfunctional version of human. We are not. They even say that human were in this dimension first. How could that be true when there are areas of the plane that they cannot even step foot but we can. It wouldn't make sense for them to create places that were impossible for them to inhabit. I only knnow this stuff cause I finally read the ancient logs that Jarai had mocked me over. How can I take the Warrior's Run and I know nothing of our people? So I studied it. I haven't mentioned it to anyone... not even you journal. But you are my souls log according to Dasha. If they do not allow me at the pairing, I cannot go to the commencement, and I'm not eligible for the Warrior Run, I will leave. I will find Ranken and the others, I will earn my place. Understand this may be the only record that I existed, but I do exist. I proclaim, as Ronnaisha Shanjaino V'rue I will stand as Najie and human. I deserve to live.