The Alpha's Rejected Mate

Chapter 3

I hesitantly get up from the ground, slowly and with caution, afraid that the pain would return and knock me to the ground once again. My mind was my enemy as it made up images of Jake and another girl together, him kissing her and telling her she was beautiful, their bodies wrapped around each other and making Jake forget about the trash he got for a mate.

I hold myself tightly, thinking about all that I had dreamed of, realizing my mistake in trusting that my life would become better when I simply didn't deserve it. I just couldn't expect Jake to want me when no one else did. Did I really think the matebond would force him to settle? He could have any girl, as beautiful as he wanted, he wasn't about to choose me just because the moon goddess forced him to. Most of all, I can't believe how selfish I was to believe that he should.

The moon goddess had blessed me with him, meanwhile he had been cursed with me.

I dress myself carelessly, trying to distract my mind from its continous attack on me, even if I did agree with it. I just expected so much people to care for me when what was there to care about, Jake's words came to my mind, worthless, he couldn't have been more spot on. What was I worth?

I place myself in front of the mirror, looking at my tear stained face and red eyes. I took a deep breath in, trying to pull myself together, to recover my strength, but I wasn't able to, there was no strength left to recover. I had done this so many times, yet this time it seemed as if I was stripped of anything that could help me, my mind had finished off anything that Jake had left behind.

The sob that breaks out of my mouth signals my defeat, my acceptance of it.

My wolf tries to talk to me but I block her out, I couldn't let her try to get me out of this with more lies. I had lied to myself enough, thinking I could get a better life, thinking I deserved one. My dreams made me seem so unbelievably naive, as if life hadn't taught me better.

An image of my parents flashed through my mind, my mother's warm smile and my father's laughter. How they were the last ones to show that they loved me, the loss of them had marked an eternity in darkness, and I just couldn't get myself out alone, I wasn't even sure I wanted to.

'Don't let your pain get to you Claire, you have so much left of life-' My thoughts had allowed me to forget to continue blocking my wolf, and even though her words aren't necessarily a lie, all that seems to be left of life is more pain.

'Be strong Claire'

I clutch my stomach as the sound of my grief is taking too much air, dry heaves coming out of my mouth continously and with no signs of stopping. My wolf tries to talk more but I block her out, she doesn't understand I don't have any strength left.

I just can't do it, I can't keep fighting, I can't even find a reason to.

My mind seems to finally reel to a stop, peace taking over. I stop crying, as if all emotion has left me, an idea taking over the entirety of my mind. I wasn't going to keep bothering everyone, I was going to be with my parents, I just couldn't believe it hadn't come to mind until this point.

I gleefully grab a pen and paper, writing my goodbyes to my brother and my mate, pointing out how I wouldn't be a bother to them anymore. A smile takes over my face, admiring my letter and praising myself for the idea.

I leave my room and run outside the house, my tears already dried and my mind set on one simple goal.

Entering the forest I can't help but feel at home, mesmerized by the beauty of the place. I had so many good memories in the forest, of my parents and my brother, back when he used to love me. I guess I became too much of a burden once they were gone, he couldn't even look at me anymore.

I shake my head out of the thoughts of my brother, after today, he wouldn't be a concern anymore. I would free him from having to live with me. I grab a single flower from the ground, the prettiest one I could find and think back at the moments in which Zack would grab a flower and put it on my hair before kissing my forehead. I place the flower on my hair, closing my eyes and imagining Zack with me again, smiling at me while kissing my forehead. A single tear slips out of my eye at the memory, I hadn't thought about that in a long time, the forest just brought out my happy memories.

I continued to run through the forest, guiding myself with the memories, finding the trees that my father had marked with his knife, he thought of it as a clever way to guide ourself back home if lost, my mother always said it was stupid as we could simply guide ourselves with our nose, but my dad continued to do it anyways. I knew my mom secretly loved that about him, and I always found it funny.

I neared the last marked tree, touching the bark and tracing my fingers over the cut, I mindlessly pull out a claw and place my own mark above my father's, smiling at it.

I've reached my destination.

The cliff is just like I remember it, the trees always seemed to stop a few feet before its descent into the stream below it, leaving a clearing in which my family and I always came to spend some time with. We always liked to live on the edge, literally.

I continue walking until I am in the edge of the cliff, looking down at the water way down below. I knew I was unlikely to survive, which was my goal. I looked behind me one last time, images of my brother and me running around trying to catch the other while my parents smiled at us.

I close my eyes, my parents' smile on my mind, and I jumped.

Wind sorrounded me as I fell, hitting my face with its force. I didn't know how long I continued falling until I felt my legs hit the water, feeling them break under the pressure as my world turns to black.