Burnt Flower

Pale harvest

My tale with Aisha had brought so many theories concerning first relationship to my mind. Was she ever my first love? or was whatever we had even real?. I mean in my face then, it was. I cried for her...stole for her...run errands for her and even hurt myself for her but I was also young and young love are basically moulded on frantic obsession and excess desire to please the other party. Yet I've queried it relevance times without calculation. Was she ever even my girlfriend? Our love life was so hectic that it seemed she breaks up with me every single step of it's journey and the romance was so cheap...too cheap that my code of reasoning gave in to the fact that whatever we held was another definition of upgraded friendship. However this might seem, she still remain my first love and even though the memories we shared together does stick, there was no inference of fondness or admiration to it pertinence. She was just another chapter in my story... another stream flowing into the endless sea of my journey through course of life. At the debut of my life, My obsession with her was quite ludicrous. I'd stay online overnight texting her and waiting for the very possibility of her response. I'd wait for her to go to sleep while staying on the phone.. imagining I was keeping her close. I wrote a stack of poems and letters on her stead most of which never got to her and those that did couldn't be grasped of the intensive affection it entails. I remembered one especially, my friend Abraham stole from my room and sent it to her. I learnt later on she kept it in a special space just to hold the memory of me. As much as my entanglement and untainted passion for her grows. It also brought it shortcomings. I began to lose focus on reality cuz she became my reality. I dumped all of my friends just to spend time with her. I wanted to appease her to adorn her. To make her feel special so. I spent on her and those close to her. I didn't give a f**k if it was appreciated or not, I was just so immensed in my description of what I called love. Once my brother asked me of what I saw in her. I gave her the impression that it was her dress up. Aisha is the type that wears a long Hijab that covers most of her body and it makes her look so beautiful but that was not all. She was cute and so was her smile. We get to know a lot about each other. For instance I found out she was older than me with just a year. I was 14 and we shared the same month..then, it felt like we were meant for each other, like our stars were intertwined and there was nothing that could diminish it. We barely had disagreements cuz we only met on her call and i wanted to please her to a fault. so most of the leaves are embedded with encrypted memories.

One of those days I went to a place close enough to her residence. Her sister was there and she wanted to play "Temple run " on my phone, I gave it to her and she was one of a player.

"Now watch a genius at work" I had barely started when Aisha came behind me and slide her arm around my neck. My skin tightened and my consciousness evaporated. She leaned in and I could feel her n*****s caressing my chest. I caught my breath.

"Ingenious!" she said softly into my ears and I could have sworn I tasted iced cream. I smiled quietly and kept my eyes affixed on the game not because I wasn't losing control but not to forfeit what was making me lose it. After the game she pulled me to a corner and I had to watch her play "Zuma" for like forever but it was worth it. If only I had a romantic hedge perhaps I might have done more than watch her play instead I was so reserved and willing not to create the slightest disturbance that'll make her delete me. After the game, she walked me home as usual. She told me I was never the guy on her mind but that guy never really saw her the way I did and so I was worth the shot.. then the same tradition ensued. We held hands, I gave her money. It was some tradition.. really. She kept to her promise, made sure I knew every single one of her boring friends and she did the same to me. when she introduced herself to Abraham. He told me ''Thats the chick inside nylon you're exchanging us with?...So typical Niphy". She also informed my sister of our little game....That night my sister called out to me and asked if I'm sure of what I was up against. She wasn't one for relationship advice cuz she never really believed in any. I rolled my eyes and told her I could handle it. Irrespective of that, she never uttered anything disapproving, so I assumed she was happy for me. Most of our encounters then held no degree of persistent love. It was like I said, a denomination of continuous break ups and dry romance.

*************

"is that what it's called?" Rihanna giggled staring at me while the darkness seemed to veil her expression.

"definitely an elephant" I straightened up trying to make my mockery assume a more factual dramatic role.

"is that how I taught?...you impudent little rat!" she shrieked hitting me with her primary school book..I ducked back laughing and almost immediately some hand thrusted something into my mouth. My impulse kicked in and I pushed off the hand with so much alacrity and alertness. I felt it was some sort of prank but when I sat up my eyes met hers. She had been discussing some things with my sister and there was no way I could have differentiated her romantic proposal and some cruel joke. I watched her give me the "seriously?" type of look. I mouthed the word "I'm sorry" but she only faced my sister... completely ignoring me. I found out later it was digestive plus but who would have known. She wasn't one to pull such move and I was still just new to the game. Not long after that, she broke up again. It was becoming some real tradition. I had to spend time with my "I told you so" friends and like as if that was not enough, my brother made sure I dipped my sweet covered hand into the hive of bees. It was on one Thursday night. I was just done with my prayers when I sat just beside the Lord's house watching watching some video on my Techno H6.

"Leon" he started

"yh" I replied not looking up

"look at you....soaked in your definition of contentment while your reputation is being soiled indiscriminately" he wore this sarcastic face that says he was up to no good. I looked up from my phone.

"what do you mean?" I asked slightly annoyed since he was getting in my games way

"your girlfriend.."

"I don't have a girlfriend."

"she just compared you to a worthless imbecile ". he was snickering while growling down on me

"what the f**k?! I stood up assuming the stung one role

"you heard me!" he paused "I can only imagine what amount of antagonizing and blasphemous insults they've adorned you with". I glared at him visibly seething.

"what are you gonna do about it?" he asked concerned or feigning one. Whatever it was then but I wasn't one for unnecessary petty quarrels. So I turned towards the direction of home and my legs did the rest of the job. Marvelous followed me in hot pursuit.

"Don't tell me you're leaving already!!? his eyes were on fire but that just made me walk faster. I just wanted to get away as fast as possible

"Leon!" he ran catching me up "what happens to your reputation?. I remained mute

"you can't let them get away with this s**t. it's degrading.". I turned at him.

" if you have a problem with that...why don't you deal with it instead " I slowed myself cuz my head was pounding and I could feel the rage getting a better of me but also there was this slight nerving feeling of trepidation.

"That's not what I'm saying ". he was suddenly more composed and humanly. '' if you let em go Scot free with this. who knows what they might do next time! You'd become their puppet for derogatory discussion ". I looked across the street. I was like 10 feet from home.

"what's it gonna be" my brother was relentless and I let the rage took over.

"f**k This!" I hissed and changed the direction towards her home. My brother kept beaning demonically all the way through. The devil was more sinister in his attempt to make my preposterous acerbity not go to waste. She was still outside with her friend probably rounding up their unscrupulous besmirching of my good name. Seeing me she called out..

"Leon..." but my fury was drooling already

"You pieces of s**t!. Who the f**k gave you permission to say just whatever bullshit you've spurted out from that uncultured mouth of yours?" They just stared at me quite shock since this was the first time I'd be releasing the caged ferocious part of me?.

"you feel you can just talk s**t about anyone cuz what? they've got no voice of their own. You lewd bitches. Well I'm gonna make this clear. You try that s**t with me again and imma bury you six feet in the ground. Did I make myself clear?! They just stared on and Ruqoyah the one closer to her left her mouth opened aghast. "Cunts" I spat irritably and walked off, proud of my work. My brother on the other hand kept chanting my name in inglorious eulogy. I was a hero that night.

The next day however was another tale entirely. She and her squad had converged for my meat at her residence. They were certain I was going to come pray tonight and I didn't disappoint them. However I might be one Alfred Tennyson I was no William Shakespeare. You know the saying "lots were called but only few were chosen" Well I'm quite certain I showed up but I refused to be chosen. Immediately I completed my prayer. I stepped out and took off towards home. The wind at my back. I could hear them voicing their disapproval and disgust but I wasn't waiting to make sure it was about me..words like.."why's the fool running now?". "you wanted a fight yet you're turning your back" "run coward! "..."next time come better prepared "....."the guy is such a joke". I heard her voice too. "my love..."...."bby...wait for me...why are you running?" they were all in my head. but I had one purpose......Flee.

************

We made up not long after that. Some insignificant resolution got us back to our deserted duty. Only now it was even more distinct. We barely see eye to eye anymore and when we do it was mostly short timed by a made up necessary exit. One time Abraham decided we pull a prank at her. It was quite a silly one. We walked to one of her bosom friends and begged her pretend I asked her out and she was too happy to accept. Once Marvelous picked up this design. He came at me armed to the teeth.

"what the f**k do you think you were up to?"

"umm what do you mean?" I inquired with an ignorant pretence.

"Don't play jokes with me! why Zaynab? She doesn't even dress like she does"

"umm...well Marvelous it called moving on and just in case you haven't noticed. She dumped me first!"

"She dumped you?! bro can you be serious for once. Tell me when has she even left without coming back".

"s**t happens" I shrugged not like she really mind. You're just her minion getting all worked up.

"Leon!" his voice was more of a cry than of caution. " I caught her weeping....for you" now it seemed he was also starting to tear up.

"You mean Aisha wept...for me?". I wasn't sure my ears picked that right.

"Yes she did and that was because of your foolery. You traded her for that b***h!" he was still fuming

"Now Zaynab is no b***h"

"Oh yes she is"

"No...she isn't. You don't get it... It was all a prank. I just wanted to ascertain whether she really cares about me" I've had enough of his amusing ignorance. He paused for a while.

"You.....!" his eyes widened in realization and he came at me with punches "Aisha is never gonna forgive you"..but she did. Zaynab confessed to her not long after we'd created the plot. One buzzkill she was.

Some other time she came to our place to fetch a dress she had my sister sew for her. She begged me to iron it and I was just too glad to give the helping hand while she goes on to entertain my sister with gossip. Once I was done with the whole ironing ritual. I left for the kitchen to fry some plantain. In no time they were dull yellow with black patches written all over em. She joined me in the kitchen

"Someone's cooking" she was smiling sheepishly. I turned to look at her.

"Want some?" that was rhetorical as I took one I slid it into her mouth.

"mhm" she muttered chewing it silently.

"it's delicious" she said tugging me to give her more and I was just too happy to oblige.. I left her once more with my sis and went on to play with my siblings. We were running round the house like possessed creatures. She came out and joined in the chase. I dashed into my room just to get hold of my younger brother but she caught hold of me instead letting him escape. I turned to face her and discovered we were alone. Just the two of us in the room. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her to my bosom while she tugged at my shirt timidly while chuckling.

"Leon!" I looked towards my window and saw my foolish friend "Eni". The pighead was peeking at us and undoubtedly ruining the moment. She giggled and rushed outside. I looked at him with a feeling to kill but he whistled off singing some dumb song. Presumably I'd say that was the most romantic time I'd with Aisha. The closest to that was during my birthday. She was waiting for me at the doorstep just after prayer and immediately I stepped out. She hugged me for so long and whispered "happy birthday" to my ears then she dragged me by the shirt and grabbed a bowl of water which she had waiting for just this moment and bathed me in my dress. She screamed at her friends and they all came rushing with several bowls splattering both of us in continuous shower. Throughout the ordeal, She clinged to me like I was going to break off or vanish, not like I didn't try though. After the raining episode, we were both soaked and dripping and somehow I felt love and pity for her at the same time. She revealed her gift for me which honestly I wasn't really expecting one. Turned how to be a singlet and I kept it somewhere close and seldom used it, just to appreciate how special she was to me. During her birthday, I wrote her a heart touching romantic letter and placed it in a white envelope just beside a bottle of wine which apparently a guest had gifted the family. I covered it in wrapping paper and taped a script to it saying. "To the girl of my dreams". That, perhaps was just as Off-putting as my gift itself. I hardly went to her house, I was never really invited. Once I did, practically from her invite, She served me fried rice with fried chicken while I sat just outside her room, that she and her entire family except of course her dad lived. She stayed a close distance watching my mouth dance around the recipe and just like that, she took off to play with my ever charming brother. Next thing I know, I was giving her my phone for the day because she doesn't want to get bored and I'd to leave for home with a bright smile of comfort "I'm just trying to satisfy pookie". I wasn't invited on her birthday and my modesty was out of question. I took the parcel to her sister who was schooling in an Arabic school just close to their home. I dropped it off for her to deliver under the suspicious scrutiny of the nosy ustaz. I crept home hoping all will go as planned. I was wrong. That night, she came to me looking so forlorn and unappealed "the bottle broke" she lamented. "I couldn't even read your letter. It was all wet and shredded". I've never felt so disappointed in myself.

"why didn't you just bring it over yourself" she kept going her eyes pricking me

"umm...you know I have something against visiting you at home, plus I wasn't certain you'd be home" my eyes couldn't even match hers.

"you know I don't bite rt?". I could only nod. "next time you wanna get me something at least give me some heads up. Not like I don't like the gift but I'd appreciate something I can keep...Y'know.. To remind me of you". That night I got home with the determination I was going to make it up to her. My plan was to get her a woven Hijab or it material but that was all it was....a plan that needed fulfillment.

******************

Time seem to consume most of my memories of Aisha and our mutuality became quite shaky when my dad and mom decided to send me on quest to learn the holy book. This was after I'd dropped my WAEC pen. They believed I needed the exposure and enlightenment. I was too young for advanced education.I never really anticipated it but it happened and the day seemed to drag itself hurriedly into my loose shoes. A day before I left for my new adventure. I sent Marvellous to her. I'd made up my mind to either make her mine or dispose any feelings we still shared. My instructions were simple. " does she still want me or not". I was gonna find a new gal wherever I was going and she won't be much of an hindrance. Her response was quite simple tho. "time will tell whether we belonged to each other or not". That was all I needed to hear.

My first vacation from the school caught some unexpected Delight. Marvelous was found wanting (Another School break). I had just prayed finish hoping I was going to get some recognition. I sat outside head buried in my phone when I felt some butt sat adjacent mine. She heaved me off the paved stone I was sitting on and I turned only to behold her enchanting laughter. I tried sitting once more and she just pushed off my butts with hers and that episode had to repeat itself till we both burst out laughing. Once more I caught her arms draping round my neck while she pulled me through the street. She tucked in the lollipop she's been licking into my mouth and I could only wonder how far crazy she can get.

My second vacation however took a different twist of event as my glorious welcome was already defined by a ugly deceased fate. I was the definition of a thicket waiting to be set ablaze and yet I had no preconception of it weight or impact. The moment I set out, I could see her waiting for me already, her back against the car which was always parked out her building. I walked up to her hoping to receive some gladdening message as regards my return. Instead her voice was as cold as steel.

"follow me" was all she could muster. I still hadn't comprehended where all this was leading to so I respected her command. She sat me somewhere close behind the building and her friend was the only audience to the drama that was about to unfold.

"I'm gonna make this short and easy...so we can move over it. Cuz apparently. I'm about to explode!" She folded her hands and continue. "Now I'm gonna ask you just a question and I need a direct answer. Who the f**k granted you the idea to go on spitting nonsense about how you drowned me in your pocket and spend lavishly without proportion on my poor soul!"

"Aisha I...."

"Shut the f**k up and f*****g listen while I speak" her face was burning red hot. "Oh you feel that miserable notes you handed was something worth bragging over especially in the face of those foolish brats you called friends.."

"but Aisha I...." I had to do something to kill the tension

"You're such a Thwart.. boy! and a naive one at that. I gave you something special

with the hope that you'd be responsible but you let it go over your head. You know.." she paused "I once told you I do smoke yh?....well you're gonna have to start believing it now. Cuz if I ever....I mean like ever hear you or your dumb friends gawking and growling about some cheap money you spent on me. I'm gonna make your life a living hell and trust me it starts with both your parents.

"Aisha calm down..." that was her friend being the pacifier for once

"No! No! don't tell me to calm down. This brute of an animal think he can just talk his way through me like I'm some piece of s**t. Well for your information. I'm done with you!...like D-O-N-E and that doesn't end there, I don't even want a Friendship with you no more. You ungrateful scumbag! Bear in mind I'm going to return every single worthless penny you've ever spent on me and I hope you choke on it. I wasn't even allowed to say a word so I just watched

confused and speechless. When she left. My mind went over a dozen reasons why she could have flared up like that. was it just an act to get rid of me? or was she being cynical about the whole situation. I hardly disclose my relationship details to Marvelous let alone my friends so why the f**k will she bring this up now of all time. My mind grew foggy and I needed to clear the smoke. That night I brought out all the letters and poem I wrote about her and burnt them to ashes while I watch weeping. I left home to search for my friends the next day and it was like as if they were expecting me.

"It started with Marvelous" Abraham was telling me. " He and Aisha had some misunderstanding and a slight quarrel ensued"

"Did you say slight....Cuz it seem I was the one standing at the gun point"

"what happened" his brother Eni joined the conversation

"you whole lot just offered me up as a peace offering for your f*****g issue!.....and who was going all about charitable situation" now I was so worked up

"but you know it's true Leon. You spent on that gal and all she did was exploit you" Abraham countered

"And have I made you my consolidator? or some advocate that I need quenching my grievances. What you guys did was so uncalled for. You just made matters worse and now she's finally broken up with me.....For good ". Abraham only shrugged

"well it was for your own good". At that point I felt like strangulating him.

The next day she came to apologize. Said a few things about being rude and all then she stated she'd just wanna remain friends but if I ever had an interest in whatsoever lady. She's gonna make sure she's mine but all I could do was stare at her while my mind buzzed. "it's you I want...even if we don't do s**t and I have to steal for you. I'd still choose you" but that was a long time from now, I barely recognize what I saw in her anymore. She was yet just another gal who crushed my childhood romance and made my first taste at love sour. Last I saw her. We greeted as strangers would but she still looked pretty and that was all.