The Rugby Player's Wife

Chapter 18

10 November 2015

Today was the day of the funeral I have been calm ever since I woke up. My parents were also calm because the doctor gave them some pills to calm them a bit. I told them that I didn't want it as I didn't need it.

I decided to go and take a shower. The funeral was at 10'o clock, and I only had two hours to finish. I turned on the water and enjoyed the water on my skin I started thinking back to the happy days that we had together. How we used to laugh together, how I got mad at him whenever he would tease me, when he helped me when we went fishing and how he taught me to drive, that was the day he thought he was going to die because I was still just a beginner and I wanted to do it my way.

We had great memories together, and I would always cherish them close to my heart remembering how he showed me to live life to my fullest even if I didn't. Right now I know that I should do it as life is too short and maybe tomorrow you won't have that chance to do it again.

I got out of the shower and wrapped my towel around my body. It felt like I was doing things I didn't even notice. Everything started moving so slowly my family, my parents and even the time on the clock. I didn't even greet anyone, I was living in my own little world where I felt safe.

I was upset that Hayden couldn't make it because his flight was delayed. I wanted him here, no wait, I needed him right here next to me telling me that everything was going to be okay, even if he was going to lie to me I needed him by my side.

I was finally finished and time started ticking by faster. Mom and dad left to go to the funeral home because dad wanted to say goodbye probably. I told them I couldn't do it because I wanted to remember him the way I saw him the last time, full of life with a big smile on his face. I wanted to remember the beautiful things about him.

*~*~*

We stood outside the church greeting people we knew or didn't even know. They kept telling us how sorry they were for our loss and when we need something they would be there night or day we can call them whenever.

The people went into the church, and it was time for us to take his coffin into the church. I placed my hand on the handle and just kept it there until we all had a nice grip, we carried him into the church and placed him down on the trolley.

I touched the coffin, and that's when reality hit me, and I started crying. My brother is really in this coffin, and I was never going to see him again, he was actually gone. My guardian angel, my best friend, and my brother was gone, he left me as an only child, he left me and now I am going to struggle on my own. How could he do this to me? How could he leave me all alone?

When we wheeled him into the church I started crying even more, and it felt like I couldn't breathe anymore, I wanted him to start breathing again, and I would give him my last breath. I just wanted to hear his voice one last time. I wanted him to tell me everything was going to be okay.

The pastor had some nice things to say about Wade and about everything actually. The hardest part was waving goodbye to him when the funeral coach left with him.

His life was short but he lived it to the fullest and didn't care what he did, he was adventurous, but he was also loveable at the same time. He made every day worth it and didn't regret anything in his life at all.

Your life may have been short but for 25 years you enjoyed it. You will be missed for as long as we are breathing.