The Rugby Player's Wife

Chapter 17

I sent Hayden a message telling him I was going to bed, today was a really long day of hanging out with the family. I have been home for 4 days already and it has been magical.

I put my data off and placed my phone down on my bedside table. I turned onto my stomach and closed my eyes falling asleep almost immediately.

4 November 2015 23:28

*beep*

I woke up looking at my phone the light blinding me almost immediately, I saw the message was from an old school friend of mine and I closed it, not wanting to read something when I am tired. I will answer her tomorrow when I wake up. Who the hell put my data on when I know I put it off before I went to sleep? I switched it off again and laid down on my back, the house was rather quite maybe my parents were asleep.

5 November 2015 00:30

My mom came bursting through my door I opened my eyes and looked at her. Her eyes were red, and her hands were shaking as she tried speaking, but it was like her words failed her, but she didn't give up she tried again.

"Dawn, Wade is dead." She said and this time, the sadness in her voice appeared.

"What? No, not my brother."

"He was in a car crash, Dawn. I am sorry sweetheart he is gone." She said again hugging me and left the room.

"Please don't let this be true. God, please don't let it be true, don't let it be my brother." I knew it was too late my head was spinning, and my eyes were hurting as I started crying almost immediately.

I stood up from the bed and walked to the living room it felt like the hallway was getting longer and longer and I was never going to reach my Dad, but I finally did, I lay my head down on his chest, and he placed his hand on my back.

We needed to be there for each other. A few more tears fell onto my cheek, and I stood up from the couch making my way back to my room. I sat on my bed and started crying out loud. Why did it have to be my brother? Was the only question I kept asking myself, I didn't want it to be true.

I walked out of my room mom and dad were in their room, I decided to join them. I sat down on the edge of the bed. I kept looking at my dad it was like watching a movie in slow motion and in 3D. He would cry a little, then immediately stop, he would pick up his packet of cigarettes look at them and then finally take one out of the packet keeping it only in his hand. After a few minutes, he would light it, finish smoking it and then everything would start all over again.

The worst part of all of this is that dad was the one that had to go and look at him, he was the one that had to see him after the accident, and he was the one that was going to remember that face that he saw at the accident. We were the ones that were going to remember the beautiful memories, but dad was the one that had to see Wade broken.

Mom couldn't sit down for a long time she had to keep busy, so she started getting everything ready that they had to take to the police station or what they needed to plan for the funeral.

Never in my life have I ever seen my parents so lost and confused, I also never thought that I would see them this broken at all.

Having a child or a brother ripped away from you leaves you with so many unanswered questions that you will never know the answer to.

Everyone kept sending us messages telling us to be strong and everything will get better. I wanted to call them and give them a piece of my mind. How can someone be strong when you are broken? When a piece of your heart is ripped away from you when the only boy that was always there for advice and to give a helping hand is taken away.

How do you stay strong when all you want to do is cry? At that moment it feels like the world is not on your side anymore and that it's just too much that nothing is ever going to matter anymore because one of the most important people in your life has been taken away.

How do you stay strong? Where do you even get the strength to keep on breathing?