Right Time

CHAPTER 3

Ilang buwan na ang nakalipas magmula nung makita ko si Ahren. Wala din kaming natatanggap na orders mula sa restaurant niya. He said that he's just going to work for a month but it's been one year.

But then, I met Austin and I kind of like him. We would talk everyday until midnight. We're also hanging out with our friends. But one day, I've heard his friends talking about someone and I guess that he likes her.

Pero bakit ganoon niya ako ituring? Special...is he treating me like that because he only likes me as his friend?

"Hey, I'm sorry I am late,"

Awtomatikong lumingon ako at nakita ko si Austin na ngayon ay naka-upo na. We're currently at a café because we're hanging out. "No, it's okay,"

"Nag-order ka na ba?," he asked and i just nodded dahil dumating na din naman ang order ko

It's a piece of yema cake and a piece of mango bravo. the yema cake is for him because he loves it. And mine is the mango bravo. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang mararamdaman ko ngayon dahil sa narinig ko.

"Ang lalim ng iniisip mo, mind sharing it?,"

Tumikhim ako at umayos ng upo. "Well, I just have a question and I already asked my other guy friends this. I guess it's your turn," I told him

"Sure, ano ba yon?,"

"Do you ever think liking me more than friends?," I asked

Umayos siya ng upo at sumubo muna ng yema cake bago magsalita. "Who knows, I mean matagal naman na tayong magkakilala and it turned out that you were my classmate in grade school. 'Yung tipong magkaklase tayo nung grade one hanggang grade twelve, buti nga hindi umabot hanggang college, e. Hindi rin tayo mapaghiwalay, tingnan mo hanggang ngayon ay pinagtatagpo pa rin tayo,"

Ang dami niyang sinabi, yes or no lang naman ang kailangan niyang isagot. I just nodded at him. "Oo nga, mabuti na lang at hindi tayo magkaklase nung college. As I took dentistry while you took I.T.," ani ko. "I can still remember that you agreed with me nung sinabi kong gusto kong mag-dentist dahil wala masyadong dentist sa lugar natin and you're even planning to be a dentist, too. But your passion is really for I.T.,"

"Hindi mo ba tinuloy ang dentistry? I mean, hindi ko nabalitaang naging dentist ka dahil ang nabalitaan ko ay iyong tungkol sa farm mo," tanong niya

Actually, I am also a dentist but I don't want to put that in public.

"Well, I'm also a dentist, Austin. Hindi ko lang nilagay in public because that is my first love, kaya ang nabalitaan ng karamihan ay ang tungkol sa farm ko dahil iyon ang gusto ko. How about you?," I explained it to him

"Well, I can say that I am successful," iyon lang ang tanging sagot niya

Nag-usap lang kami at umuwi na rin pero dumiretso ako sa farm para icheck. Pagkadating ko ay naabutan ko si Delancy na naka-upo sa kubo. "How's your day?," I asked her

Sumilay ang mapang-asar niyang ngiti. "Well, I am blessed, how about you?," she said, teasing me

That was my question to Austin before and he answered 'blessed'. We were in tenth grade that time. "I'm good,"

"Kumusta naman ang date niyo?," tanong niya nang umupo na din ako

"It wasn't a date, I heard from his friends that he likes someone-

"What? Pero kung ituring ka niya parang may something kayo na iisipin ng mga tao na baka gusto ka niya o kaya naman gusto niyo ang isa't-isa. I can't believe it, girl. If he likes someone else then he shouldn't treat you that way, it's very offensive, you know?," aniya

"I asked him earlier that if will he ever like me more than friends and he answered 'who knows' and lots of explanation," pagkwento ko kay Delancy

"Girl, iwasan mo na lang kaya muna then let's see if he'll miss you. If not then it's his lost,"

Ginawa ko ang sinabi ni Delancy na iwasan siya. But then I have important thing to tell him and I did. Ilang buwan ang lumipas at nag-uusap pa rin kami. Minsan napapansin kong hindi na siya gaano nagrereply sa akin hindi katulad ng dati. Lagi ko ring sinasabi sa kaniya na kung may nagugustuhan na siya ay sabihin niya sa akin dahil ako na ang kusang iiwas sa kaniya.

And that day has come. I was so devastated when I found out. I told him that I will be very distant to him but he just said that I don't need to. But of course I respect their relationship and his girl. I have lots of haters because I was so close to him that they think that I am flirting with him even if I'm not. Ang dami nilang sinasabi tungkol sa akin na maharot daw ako, na malandi ako.

Lahat ng kaibigan ng girlfriend niya ay iyon ang iniisip na nilalandi ko siya kahit hindi naman. I get a lot of hate from everyone. Hindi ko kinaya iyon kaya tuwing gabi ay umiiyak ako at minsan ay naabutan pa ako ni Delancy na umiiyak.

"Xiana, sorry. Shush don't cry, I'm here," niyakap niya ako at yumakap ako pabalik

"B-bakit ang dali para sa kanila na h-husgahan ako? Ganoon na ba ang t-tingin nila sa akin? Na malandi ako, na maharot ako, na mang-aagaw ako?," humihikbing tanong ko sa kaniya

"No, wala silang karapatang husgahan ka. Look at me, Xiana, hindi ka nila kilala at ikaw lang ang nakakakilala sa sarili mo kaya huwag mo silang pakinggan. Hayaan mo silang sabihan ka ng ganon dahil hindi naman totoo," aniya

I just nodded at her and went inside my room. Hindi ako masyado lumalabas dahil natatakot ako na baka husgahan ako ng mga tao.

Sinabi niya rin sa akin noon na huwag kong pansinin ang sinasabi ng iba as long as wala akong tinatapakang tao, but how can I even do that if those people are important to him. Hindi ko masabi-sabi sa kaniya kung sino ang mga 'yon kahit gustong-gusto niyang malaman, hindi ko sinasabi sa kaniya dahil ayaw kong masira sila.

I knew it from the start that he likes someone and it's not me. But the way he acts when it comes to me will definitely make me confuse or think that he feels the same way just like what I feel about him. Those time that he remind me to rest when I am emotionally, physically and mentally tired. At some point, I thought that he's just like to everyone and maybe that's how treats them just like how he treats me.

I can't blame him for liking her dahil kumpara sa akin, mas lamang talaga ang babaeng gusto niya. I just find it offensive. After I found out the truth, I begin to avoid him. There are times that he would ask Delancy why I'm avoiding him but Delancy would just tell him that I am very busy.

His birthday came and he invited me but I didn't go so I just greeted him.

Ivelisse Gonzaga:

Happy birthday, Austin! I am sorry if I can't go to your birthday celebration but I wish you all the best in life and more birthdays to come. Stay strong to the both of you and put Him in the center of your relationship. Put Him in everything first. I am proud of you!

He immediately replied to my message.

Austin Devereux Miranda:

Thanks, Xiana. I just hope that you can come to my birthday celebration because our friends are waiting for you. I hope that you'll get the love that you deserve, someday.

Yes, someday, in God's time...

Ivelisse Gonzaga:

You're welcome and I'm really sorry but I can't go.

Austin Devereux Miranda:

I understand, take good care of yourself. Thanks again, Xiana!

Hindi na ako nagreply pa sa sinabi niya. Really? Our friends are looking for me? They should focus on him because it's his birthday, not mine. I don't know what to feel. I will be disrespecting Jaime Laurel, his girlfriend if I attend his birthday. Kahit pa nauna akong dumating sa buhay niya, kahit pa nauna niya akong nakilala ay wala akong laban dahil girlfriend niya iyon at kaibigan niya lang ako.

Did he treat me like how he treated her? Did he care for me like how he cared for her? Did he take a picture of the shore and send it to me like how he used to do it for her? Are all the things that he did for me, he done it for her first?

Lahat ba 'yon ay nagawa niya na para sa kaniya bago sa akin?

He even lied to me...

I feel betrayed.

Out of all the people that I expect that will never do that to me, siya pa talaga hahaha funny how things will change once your friend gets into a relationship.

Ayaw kong isipin ng ibang tao na kaya ako pumunta duon ay para makapagpapansin kahit ang totoo naman ay pupunta o pumunta lamang ako duon dahil iyon ang kagustuhan niya. Kaibigan ka lang, Xiana, hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon ay dapat nanduon ka sa mahahalagang kaganapan sa buhay niya dahil iba na ngayon, hindi na katulad ng dati.

It's been one week since it happened and I'm in Cavite right now. I suddenly remember Ahren, how is he? Is he doing well? Ilang branch na kaya ang naidagdag sa restaurant niya? Why am I even thinking about him? It's been one year since he left.

I am now focusing in my farm here in Cavite dahil hindi ko naman masyado naaasikaso dito. Mas naka-focus ako sa main farm ko which is in Batangas. Hindi pa ulit ako nakakabisita sa farm ko na nasa Cagayan dahil medyo malayo ito sa amin. But it is worth it.

I was working on the orders when I heard Delancy scream. Nataranta ako dahil duon kaya dali-dali akong tumayo at lumabas, wala akong pakialam kung madapa man ako.

"Delancy! What happened? Is there something wrong?," sunod-sunod kong tanong sa kaniya

Tiningnan niya lang ako habang nakangisi. "We need to go back in Batangas!," tumayo siya sa pagkakaupo niya at inalog-alog ang kamay ko

"What? Why?," naguguluhang tanong ko

"Huwag ka na magtanong! Halika na," hindi pa man ako nakasasagot ay kinuha niya na ang mga gamit ko at hinila ako papunta sa sasakyan

Malapit lang naman kami sa Batangas kaya mabilis lang biyahe lalo na kung hindi traffic. Minsan kasi ay traffic lalo na dahil sa mga turistang gustong tikman ang famous na lomihan sa Batangas at ang mga tourist spot sa Cavite. Iidlip na lang muna siguro ako.

Nakarating na kami sa Batangas at nagpahinga na muna ako. Sobrang daming nangyari ngayong taon, hindi ko kinakaya.

*****

Two years had passed, again. Wala na akong balita kay Austin and I know that it's for the better.

Andito na ulit ako sa Batangas.

Ang lugar kung saan ko nakilala si Ahren na hanggang ngayon ay wala pa rin akong balita. Dalawang taon na ang nakalilipas ngayon magmula nung magkita kami ngunit hanggang ngayon ay wala pa rin siya.

I am glad that I am still here, fighting, after what happened last year. Bumangon na ako sa higaan. Nagtungo ako papunta sa pintuan ng kwarto ko at bubuksan ko na sana ang pinto nang marinig ko ang boses ni Delancy na mukhang manghahamon ng away. "Shh! She's still sleeping! And I can cook for her!," Sino bang kaaway ng babaeng 'to?

Hawak ko na ang door knob nang makarinig ulit ako ng boses pero mukhang pamilyar ito. "I was away for two years, Delancy, let me cook her breakfast,"

If I'm not mistaken, that was... Ahren's voice.

"Okay, fine! Basta ikaw na din ang magluto para sa lunch mamaya,"

"Sure,"

Bumalik ako sa higaan ko at muling humiga, wala akong naririnig na nagsasalita sa kanilang dalawa at tanging ang mga yapak at pagkilos lang nila sa kusina ang naririnig ko. I can't believe that after two years...he is finally back.

"Wait, are you staying here for a year?," I heard Delancy

"No, I'm staying here for good,"

I don't know pero bigla akong natakot. Natakot na baka mahulog ako sa kaniya lalo na ngayong mananatili siya dito buong buhay niya. Natatakot ako dahil baka maulit ang nangyari. Ayaw kong makarinig ng kung ano-ano mula sa mga taong mapanghusga.

Narinig kong may humawak sa door knob kaya naman nagtulug-tulugan ako. "Iwanan muna kita rito, ikaw na ang bahala,"

Naramdaman kong may humawak sa buhok ko, gusto ko mang tingnan ngunit hindi maaari dahil alam kong si Ahren ang kasama ko sa loob ng silid na ito. "How are you? I heard that people judged you,"

So he knew? Maybe Delancy told him already.

"I don't know the whole story but I'm always here. I will never leave again. I know that you will not hear this but I think this is the right time to tell you, I like you, Ivelisse," my heart hammered upon hearing those words. "And I'm sorry if I'm away when it happened. But I am here now and I will never ever leave again. I know that you are strong and I'm proud of you,"

I shed tears when I heard those words, I wanted to hug him but I don't want to ruin his moment.

Still, I am afraid. I don't think that I am the woman that he's looking and been wanting to spend the rest of his life. I don't think that I am capable of that.

I started to be afraid of love because of what I experienced with Austin... I didn't know that I will fear love someday. I'm afraid that he might be like Austin but how will I know if I'll not give it a try.

I will try to love again and if this fail...that's enough, I will not try again if it fails.

Hindi ko alam na nakatulog ulit ako kaya naman bumangon na ako at lumabas ng kwarto ko. Walang tao... Did he left me again?

"Kuya, hindi nga kasi ganiyan,"

Was that Luis? Sumilip ako sa bintana ng office at nakit ko si Luis at Ahren. He did not leave. What are they doing? Sumilip pa ako lalo at nakita kong nag-aayos sila ng bouquet. A red roses, pink tulips and baby's breath. Those are my favorites.

Lumabas ako ng office at naglakad papunta kina Luis. "I didn't remember that we're arranging a bouquet," I saw how Ahren stiffened.

"Ate, para kasi sa'yo-

Hindi na naituloy ni Luis ang sinasabi niya dahil tinakpan ni Ahren ang bibig nito. "I'm just practicing, have you eat your breakfast?,"

"Yeah, thank you," I said

I tilt my head when I saw Ahren whispering something to Luis. They are weird. Hmm, I'll just gonna walk around. Iniwanan ko 'yung dalawa na parang nagbabangayan na. Pumunta ako kung nasaan ang mga lavenders upang mamitas dahil gagawa ako ng lavender oil, it's nice especially if you're stressed. Kumuha lang ako ng kaunti at naglakad na ulit para pumunta sa kusina. I prepare everything that I need.

And voilà! I'm done making my lavender oil. I am smiling all along, kahit nang lumabas ako sa kusina. "Why are you smiling?,"

"Ay kingina ka!,"

"What?,"

I glared at Ahren who is now stopping his self from laughing. "I'm smiling because I just finished making my lavender oil,"

"Is that for sale? he asked

"No! But you can pre-order if you want to," I said, smiling

His eyes glistened. "Really? I can? Then I pre-order, fifteen pieces,"

My eyes widened, fifteen? That's a lot!

"Ahren, that's a lot!," I told him

"I know,"

Bwisit na'to! Hindi porket may gusto siya sa akin ay papakyawin niya na ang mga produkto dito sa farm. Pakyawin ko din kaya ang sineserve sa restaurant niya. Tinalikuran ko lang siya kahit pa naririnig ko siyang tinatawag ang pangalan ko, bahala siya jan.

Kinuha ko ang gitara ko at pumunta kung saan tahimik at 'yon ay sa may golf club. Sumakay lang ako sa golf cart at bumaba na rin ng makahanap ako ng perfect spot. Inilatag ko ang picnic blanket sa damo at umupo na duon. Sa pwesto ko ngayon ay makikita ang kabuuan ng farm dahil medyo mataas dito.

I love how the wind touches my cheek. I started to strum the guitar. "Closer to you on a rainy day...You are amazing and I'm blown away," I also started to sing. "I don't feel the cold and I can say...The warmth of your love and its there anyway...I am in your care no reason to despair,"

As I strum the guitar the wind went along and the birds chirp nonstop. "You are the spark undying light...You are my everything, my desire...You show me love; never apart," I just love this song so much. "You're always there for me, and I'm alright...You are the spark,"

I continued singing until the end of the song. "You are...you are," And just like how the spark fly sparks I will continue to spark. "You are the spark,"

I lay down on the picnic blanket on closed my eyes. If I hadn't fallen in love with Austin, all of this wouldn't have happened. But it happened and I can't do anything about it anymore. All I can do is to fight and try again.

Dumilat ako at nagulat nang makitang nakatingin sa akin si Ahren, napatayo agad ako at umayos ng upo. "K-anina k-ka pa riyan?," utal na tanong ko

Nagulat ako sa kaniya! Bakit ba bigla-bigla siyang susulpot? Kabute ba siya?

"To be honest, yes, kanina pa ako dito," aniya na mas ikinagulat ko. "You have a lovely voice,"

Napatingin ako sa kaniya at umiwas din agad ng tingin, naramdaman kong parang namula ang aking pisngi. Hindi ko siya nakita rito kanina! Ano? Naging invisible siya kanina?

"T-thank you,"

Tumahimik ulit kami at tanging ang mga ibon at hampas lamang ng mga dahon ang maingay. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko siya kakausapin.

"Ivelisse,"

Napapikit ako ng tawagin niya ako. "Hmm?,"

"I have something for you," aniya kaya napadilat ako at nilingon siya. "Here,"

Omygod! It's the bouquet! Kinuha ko agad iyon at inamoy. Hmm it smells so good, ito 'yung ginagawa niya kanina kasama si Luis.

"You like it?," halata sa boses niya ang kaba

"No," I answered, I saw how sadness cross his eyes. "I love it," bawi ko sa sinabi ko at ngumiti.

Nakita kong napalitan ng saya ang mata niya nang sabihin ko iyon. He put so much effort in this. "Why did you give me this?,"

"I gave that to you because I just want to. You're sad and I wanted to make you happy," he said. "And I will always be here for you and I will do everything to make you happy,"

I just smiled at him.

I hope so...I hope that he will fulfill what he said. He didn't promise but I hope that he will never ever broke what he said.