Chapter 1
Chapter 1
“I’m not sure if I can go through this all over again.” I sighed down the phone to my friend Kate. I was walking down the street in the direction of my best friend’s house where he lived with his super hot, super amazing husband. Usually I couldn’t wait to see them, but today I was trembling.
“You shouldn’t have to,” Kate insisted. “Nobody can say you haven’t given it your all. You’ve eaten, exercised, stopped drinking and stabbed yourself with so many needles I’ve lost count.”
“Thirty times,” I announced. As if the bruising in my upper thigh wasn’t enough to remind me of the calendar where everything I’d written down on was, Ten for each round.
“Exactly.” Kate sounded as though she wanted to cry for me. “Nobody can say you haven’t given it your all. Most wouldn’t do this kind of thing for family even once. I know I definitely wouldn’t do it for my sister.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle. That didn’t say much considering that Kate and her sister had been at each other’s throats since they were little girls.
“I just so badly want it to work for them.” I was on the brink of tears now. Damn stupid hormones. As if being nervous wasn’t bad enough.
“If it doesn’t happen then maybe it just wasn’t meant to be,” Kate reminded me. “Isn’t that what you always say?”
Oh, how I hated it when she used my own words and advice against me. I was great at giving it but not so great at taking it.
“I know.” I sighed and turned the corner onto Lee’s street. “I should get going anyway. I’m almost there.”
“Okay, well don’t let your nerves get the better of you.” Kate was determined to make me feel better. “Lee and Dale wouldn’t want you beating yourself up over this.”
“I know, I know.”
They’d told me as much themselves but I was never really one for listening to others. Especially when I felt as though I was letting someone down. Right now, if this went wrong, then I would be letting down two of the most important people in my life.
“Keep your chin up and remember there’s always next time,” Kate insisted. “I love you, Ree-Ree.”
“I love you, too, Kay Kay.”
With that I ended the call and shoved my phone into my purse. The walk from my house to Lee and Dale’s was short, but today it felt as though I’d walked a million miles with a lead weight on my shoulders.
I walked up the three steps to the door and pressed the bell. How quickly they answered told me that they had been waiting eagerly for my arrival.
“Hey gorgeous!” Lee threw his arms around me and squeezed tightly. I didn’t feel gorgeous. In fact, I felt anything but. I’d barely slept for the last few days and had major black bags under my eyes that were just barely hidden beneath a layer of concealer. Luckily for me my gay best friend had taught me the best ways to apply makeup a long time ago.
“Thank God you are here.” Dale appeared at the end of the hallway. “I was beginning to think Lee was going to have a heart attack for worrying about you.”
“I’m not late, am I?” I glanced down at my wrist watch. No. Of course I wasn’t. I was early.
“He’s been waiting at the window like a puppy waiting for his master to come home for the last half an hour.” Dale rolled his gorgeous blue-green eyes. I remembered when Lee and I had first set eyes upon him. We’d been in a club down town when the most handsome man on the planet had walked in. He was six foot two, bit like a brick building and so tanned he could give the Greek gods a run for their money. I’d insisted to Lee that I would be the girl going home with him that night. Unfortunately for me, Lee had called it when he’d told me that Dale wouldn’t be going home with any girl at all, because he’d be going home with him.
If he’d gone home with anybody else that night, I’d have said Dale was insane. As it stood, he’d picked the right guy from all the men who were fawning over him that night. My best friend was just as tall, muscular, and lean, and had eyes so blue they looked like drops of ice against his own tanned skin.
“Well, your master is here, Lee.” I giggled and patted him on the head. “Good boy for waiting.”
Dale hid his own laughter behind his hand, knowing his husband was seldom bettered when it came to sarcasm.
“Very funny, you two.” He glanced between us with a scowl.
“Careful sweetheart or you’ll end up with wrinkles,” Dale pointed out and Lee’s face softened.
“I wouldn’t want to end up looking older than you now, would I?” Lee joked affectionately.
“Ha ha, very funny, but you forget you’re already a year old than me as it is.” Dale wrapped his arm around Lee’s shoulders and gave a squeeze.
At times like these I became overly jealous of their relationship and the affection they showed each other. I hadn’t had the best of luck on the dating front, and over the years things just seemed to be getting worse.
“Shall we get this over with?” I suggested before they started on one of their snogfests, which was only awkward because I’d often felt the urge to join in. When your best friend and his husband were so hot, they compete with the sun, it was hard not to.
“As the lady wishes.” Dale nodded and gestured me further into the house. We walked down the hallway, turned left, and came to the room that I now had a love-hate relationship with. I’d always felt comfortable in the bathroom, bathing in bubbles that caressed my breasts and tickled the back of my neck when they popped. Yet over the last eighteen months it had become the place where all my hopes were dashed to the wind.
When I entered, I automatically noticed the package sitting on the counter beside the sink. My heart had been pounding ever since I got up that morning and had been all day, but now it was practically in my throat.
“Hey, Rhea.” Lee’s voice called me back to him. I looked over my shoulder to see them where they stood in the doorway looking at me. “We want you to know that no matter what, we really appreciate all you are trying to do for us.”
“That and we love you.” Dale pursed his lips and blew me a kiss. The words only made me feel guilty. I was almost sure that I already knew what the answer was going to be when I left this bathroom. The same it has always been.
“I love you both too.” I smiled, but I couldn’t keep the sadness from my expression.
“You’ve got this.” Lee stepped forward and wrapped me in his arms. I clutched tightly to him for a moment. Ever since the failure of round one I felt both slipping away from me. It wasn’t because of them. It was my problem. I didn’t really perform well under pressure, at least not this kind.
“Thanks, Lee.” I playfully pushed him backwards then. “Now get out so that I can pee.”
“Yes boss.” Lee smirked at me. “Remember, we love you.”
He then closed the door behind him, leaving me alone with the test.
I closed my eyes for a moment and took several deep, calming breaths before picking up the box. The premise was simple. Two lines was good. One line was bad. The only problem was that no matter what the lines said, my life would change forever.
I opened the box and pulled out the foil packet. Ripping it open with my teeth, I pulled the protective cover off the end of the pregnancy test and placed it on the counter closest to the toilet.
Unzipping the uncomfortable pencil skirt I’d been wearing all day for work, I dropped my panties to my ankles and hovered over the toilet to pee on the stick.
All that was left to do was wait.