The Former Mrs. Tan

Secret Crush

Because of my domestic situation, the office became a comfort zone for me. It was the place where I was appreciated, honored, and respected. That was also the time when Billy took notice of me. 

He taught me the ins and outs of the business; he shared to me his report templates which I could use; he would coach me about leadership skills. He even said that I have a potential and I could go far.

All Team Supervisors, Senior Team Supervisors, and Operations Managers were required to attend a quarterly business review. The meeting was held inside the boardroom. Senior Operations Manager Billy Regino presided the meeting on behalf of our Program Director. 

As Billy was showing a Power Point presentation about the business' performance last quarter, I couldn't help compare him with Herbert.

Both of them have the same height and built. Herbert's looks are Chinese, but Billy has subtle Spanish features. Both of them look good with their eyeglasses on, but Billy looked more like Clark Kent. Both of them were eloquent speakers but Billy exuded more confidence. Billy was going somewhere, he was in charge and magnetic. As I continued comparing Herbert and Billy, it became apparent that I was having a secret crush on Billy Regino.

"I wouldn't be here without Billy's help. He was not just my mentor, he was my strength," I told Ana.

"So you spent more time in the office than at home," she said as we continued with our lunch.

I took a leave from the office that Friday evening because I received an invitation for a concert. Camille, one of my high school friends and a Vixen like me, called a week ago and offered me a free ticket. Since I got married, I haven't seen any of the Vixens and haven't had a legitimate ladies' night out with them. 

Herbert knew that I'll be going out that night so we agreed to let his mother come to take care of the twins. 

I was already dressed up and putting on my make-up when Herbert entered the room. He was ready to go to the office for his shift.

"Mama called," he said as he went beside me.

He stared at the mirror looking at my reflection and held my shoulders.

"She can't make it tonight. Some issues came out at the store and she has to take care of that. Sorry, Irene, but you have to stay to take care of the kids."

He kissed my head and said, "I have to go now. Take care, okay?"

I was still holding the brush for my blush as my mind processed what I've just heard from him. I just stared at the mirror, saw Herbert leave the room. As soon as I heard the doorknob clicked, I threw the brush in front of me and buried my face on my palms.

YEARS HAD PASSED and I was promoted to Senior Team Supervisor. I had under my supervision five to eight Team Supervisors that time. 

My father was proud of me when he heard the news. But I was not sure if Herbert was proud of me. It might have hurt him again that I went up the corporate ladder with a salary almost twice as he earned that time. But the most proud person was my mentor, Billy.

A buffet was served right after the short awarding program. I fell in line and didn't notice Billy in front of me. He turned around and saw me.

"Ladies first," he said as he put his hands on my shoulders and moved me to his place.

"Thank you," I said appreciating the way he touched me. 

"So, how does it feel to be promoted to Senior Team Supervisor, Mrs. Tan?" he asked still holding my shoulders. 

"Happy," I answered and gave him a smile. "I've heard from some friends in other departments that you pushed pencils to move that promotion."

"Oh? And what did they tell you?" he asked removing his hands and putting them in his pockets.

"They said that you strongly proposed a different pay scheme for my position," I answered.

"I saw the original pay scheme they were to offer you and it was too low. You deserved much better, so as your senior manager, I proposed to change that. I don't want my team leaving me because of pay issues."

"Well, thank you, Mr. Regino," I said as I started taking a serving of food from the buffet table.

After we have filled our plate with food, we sat on a vacant table at the farthest corner. We felt exclusive and protective of that privacy. We sat side by side, thinking that some managers might want to join us.

"How did Herbert take it?" he asked in a different tone. He sounded somber, and serious. "Is he okay?"

I took a bite of pasta and didn't answer his question. Not that I don't want to, I just remembered how Herbert received the news when I told him.

"I don't want to pry into your family life but as I see it, your husband has been contented being a senior agent until now," he said.

"He says he's okay," I said. "But honestly, I feel depressed. He's not appreciative of my successes lately. More often, they're coming between us."

"A friendly advice, Irene," he said. "You'd better accept that, he's not as motivated as you are. That's the problem, but it's also why you are so special. You are more ambitious and career-driven. You'd better straighten things out with him."

I nodded. "I will," I said and continued eating. "By the way, since we already shifted to something personal. I hope you don't mind asking why you're not married yet."

He gave a short laugh and said, "Well, I haven't found a woman who will accept me and my 'disability'." 

"What do you mean disability?" I asked.

"Although I can still have s*x, I can't have a child," he said as he took a bite of his food.

"I'm sorry," I said, surprised with his honesty.

"No, don't be," he smiled. He looked as if he were about to say something else, but stopped himself.

Even though I had expressed my sorrow, I was thinking what a nice disability he had.