Se* & *rugs & Rock & Roll and Nursing

Chapter4

GOING INTO SECOND YEAR, I met a girl who literally took my breath away. Lisa Calder was a third-year Integrated Degree nursing student from Heriot Watt University and the sluice room in a medical ward at the Royal Infirmary is where I first set eyes on her – elbows deep in bedpans and pish bottles. Being a gentleman, I offered to help. She had pitch-black shoulder-length hair, full lips, olive skin, and serious dark brown eyes. I thought she was Italian or Spanish, or something, but no – she was from Inverness. Fortune shone. I knew her school, Inverness Royal Academy – I’d played rugby and volleyball for Portree High, and we had played the IRA a few times. Full disclosure, I was totally honest with her about my sporting prowess - I was s**t but liked to play. She laughed, and from then on we got on like the proverbial house on fire.

At the ward’s Christmas night out, I saw her in her civvies for the first time. f*****g hell man. She was gorgeous. Funny, I’d worked with loads of students and staff nurses who looked completely different out of their uni- forms – sometimes I was shocked by how good they looked. No doubt I looked a wee bit different too, although I’m not sure me being out of my white dentist jacket enhanced my looks in anyway. Maybe. Lisa wore a figure-hugging mini dress thing, a white cashmere cardigan, and a pearl necklace. f**k. I thought pearls were for your Granny. She made them classy and sexy. Couldn’t believe she was my bedpan buddy. Her legs looked super smooth with a hint of athletic muscle, and it was damn near impossible to keep my eyes off her. With the drink flowing and everybody in a festive mood – I made a concerted effort to impress. At the end of the night, four of us shared a taxi to the West End where we dropped off our two workmates. Lisa lived on Morningside Road, and I offered to walk her home.

“You mean from the pavement to my front door?” (Smile. Cute. Her)

Sitting in the back of the jostling taxi, she agreed.

“I will invite you in for more than coffee, but I won’t sleep with you.”

I laughed hard at that and took her hand as we drove up a wintery Lothian Road. True to her word – she invited me in and we canoodled in her kitchen. I left after an hour. We made a date for the next day.

I had a bit of a hangover. We’d arranged to meet in the Canny Man’s pub – near her flat. I was nervous as f**k walking up Bruntsfield Place. Doubting she had feelings for me, even though we had done some serious kissing. Maybe she was drunk, and when she saw me sober she’d have huge pangs of regret. Got there early and looked around to see if she’d arrived, found her sitting in the back room – she was earlier than me and nursing a hangover too. We ordered Becks as a hair of the dog. Oh, and by the way, she looked even more gorgeous in casual attire – casual but classy, is what I told her. She wasn’t sure if I was being serious. I was. Didn’t take long for us to pick up from where we left off. Totally f*****g brilliant. One thing I liked about her was she didn’t wear much make-up. What she did wear looked f*****g sexy. Her skin was smooth as f**k – Teflon, man. I loved it when she laughed out loud. She’d tilt her head back and come close, kind of bumping me with her noggin. The warmth of her breath and the smell of her perfume totally f*****g killed me. I fell madly in love with her there and then. Another thing that drove me mad with desire, was... And there is no other way to put it – she was pretty posh. I don’t mean that in a bad way; it’s just the truth. She never spoke down to anyone or anything like that. She just had a way about her. Not sure how to explain it. If you met her, you’d know exactly what I mean. All I could think about was:

A. Sleeping with her and

B. Checking out her arse when she went to the toilet.

A. Would have to wait; B. Happened after a few more Beck's. She excused herself and I totally checked her out from behind. Wearing stretch jeans with a backside like a peach – not too big, but curvy. I liked what I saw. Oh man, her t**s. Not huge or anything. She wasn’t wearing a bra. Her t**s f*****g popped. Her silky white blouse had the top buttons open – and when she came close, I’d catch a glimpse of cleavage. It drove me f*****g crazy. We ended up staying in the pub till they threw us out – our hangover well and truly cured by the Becks. On Morningside Road, we shivered, and she invited me up. Again, she told me she wouldn’t be sleeping with me. I laughed and said the same to her. Her folks owned the flat – and it was a beauty. A top floor, two-bedroom affair with a dining kitchen and a cracking living room with big bay windows looking out to Morn- ingside Road. Tastefully decorated, the centrepiece gas fire pretending to be a real one. The room was a mixture of old and new, but not mismatched. Somebody had thought about it – I suspected it was the girl sitting beside me on the plush Habitat sofa. There was a B&O BeoVision 8800 TV and a BeoCenter 7000 music system in the corner. Underneath, a BeoCord 8800 V2000 video recorder - so f*****g modern, man. Stacked on the floor were hundreds of albums. My new love interest was a music freak. She opened a bottle of red wine, and I stayed for hours, listening to music, and talking. You know, our past relationships and s**t. ELO’s Out of the Blue played. f*****g love that album. I told her I’d never been in a serious relationship before. I left out my one-night-stand adventures – I’m not stupid. Told her about Becca – kept Katie to myself. Lisa had one serious boyfriend from school – lasted up until six months ago. He’d stayed in Inverness whilst she studied here. The long-distance thing proved too much and brought out the worst in him. Jealous as f**k, basically. We talked about losing our virginity. Man, Lisa was easy to talk to. I didn’t feel I had to put on a show or anything. When I told her about Becca’s propensity to shag al fresco, she killed herself laughing – especially when I told her about the time Becca sug- gested we do it at the end of Uig Pier. There was no hidey spot for shagging. Becca didn’t mind – I did. Regretted not doing it though. Would’ve been a fun memory. Lisa had her own funny, if mortifying, s*x story. It wasn’t long after she and her boyfriend had first shagged. He was in her bedroom, and they decided to have a quick f**k before dinner. Lisa’s mother walked in on them. s**t, man. I’d have f*****g died if my mum walked in on me – on the job. Her mother usually knocked, this time, she opened the door to announce dinner and was greeted by the bare bum of her boyfriend. All three were totally embarrassed. Around four, she got me up, put my coat on, and sent me home. The wine, on top of the Becks, had left me pretty f*****g steaming. We stood at the door snogging, and she invited me out for dinner, whispering she might let me stay tomorrow night.

Staggering down Morningside, I felt f*****g wonderful.