Too Close, Too Fast

Nick I met a girl today… I know, nothing unusual for me – typical Tuesday, right? No, I am kidding, she is quite something. I am too old and too smart to talk about stuff like love but I gotta admit I could have crush on her or something. I noticed her immediately even though I was on duty. I stopped to grab something to eat on 82nd and there she was – on the other sidewalk. Long straight hair, something between blonde and light brown but I don’t know – I’m no expert in this. But I’m pretty sure she had reeeeaaallly long legs and amazing figure – thin but curvy in all the good places. It was quite a warm day so she was wearing a short flower dress. Really hot, that’s probably why I was staring at her for a while. She got into her red Mini Cooper (BTW, You know what they say about red cars?  They attract attention – yep, I’ll sign that!:) ) and I noticed that suddenly her expression changed – from smiling to nervous, anxious and tense. I immediately knew I should follow her – wait…that came out wrong! I am a police officer and I have been for a loooong time (you don’t wanna know exactly, trust me), so I’ve already developed pretty good sixth sense about this. And that’s why I got into my car too – I knew she was gonna do something stupid and break some rules or something like that. Boy, I was right! There’s a speed limit in this area and she completely ignored it and speeded right into a really busy intersection. I turned on the siren and went after her. And what do you think? At first she started do speed even more but then she probably changed her mind… and stopped right under ‘No stopping’ sign.  *** Kirstie ‘Oh my god, oh no, f**k! What have I done? I am completely stupid – I am officially a moron. Ok, breathe, Kirstie, breathe! The policeman is approaching my car but he is around my age… no, he’s probably a little bit older. He will understand that I didn’t do it on purpose. But he isn’t smiling at all, I hope he isn’t some grumpy jerk.  Breathing in, breathing out… Ok, he’s quite handsome, maybe he won’t make a big deal out of it. I am gonna do my puppy eyes on him. Ok, here he comes.’ “Hello, officer! I am sorry, terribly sorry, really!” I started and it kinda worked! He smirked at me and started joking (it was a bit lame but I laughed anyway) that I am dangerously fast. I explained him I’ve been in London until recently and I am therefore a little confused about the rules and blah blah blah. “Oh come on, maybe if you’d been on the wrong side of the road, I would buy that! But don’t try to tell me they don’t have speed limits in the UK,” he said and looked me in the eyes.  I shrugged and gave him a really sexy and charming smile. “So, what’s the punishment for me?”  But I knew – a ticket. Still I hoped he would gave me just a warning. Mainly because I could tell he was into me... A LOT. But he remained professional and I now I have to pay a fine. He handed me the ticket and our hands touched a little bit. I swear it felt like an electric vibe went right trough me. That was something new to me and frankly, that’s maybe a little sad. But it’s true – I never had a instant chemistry with someone even thought I have a boyfriend – a fiancé actually. But that particular detail really slipped my mind in that moment and I did something really crazy and stupid. “Ummm… what’re you doing tonight? Wanna meet me for a drink, maybe?” Yes, that’s what I said – or maybe a ghost possessed my body for a while and told him that instead of me. I’m honestly not sure. He obviously answered yes and I could see he was quite pleased with himself as if he was the one who planted that idea into my head. “Sure, I’d love to. I’m Nick by the way.” I guess I could have just answered something about changing my mind, but I didn’t. I told him my name too. “Call me anytime, Kirstie, I wrote you my number on the other side of that ticket, you know?” Then he winked at me (!!!) and then went back to his car. Can you imagine that? So tacky… and kinda hot, actually. He was SO sure of himself. I guess he knew I would ask him out? But how? He was just assuming every girl wants him – that’ so messed up. He is such a BIGHEAD! I am definitely not calling him. Or texting him – nope! Never… He can keep on dreaming! *** Nick Ok, that was a great night! I gotta admit I really enjoyed all of it. That chick Kirstie texted me after few hours and I think she tried to sound cool and nonchalant but I still figured out she was super into me. ‘Hey, what about that drink. R U free around 8?’ And of course I was free. :)  I chose a bar near my place (clever, right?) and she agreed. I got there early and I thought I was gonna wait for a long time because… you know how it is with women and choosing their outfit and stuff like that. Boy, I was wrong, she was there at exactly 8 o’ clock and looked aaaaamaaaazing! Really, she had an amazingly cut out long dress – blue and with an interesting pattern that reminded me of leopard’s spots (but just by shape). Can we stop here for a minute and appreciate that I remember this? Most of the times I can’t even recall the girl’s haircolor but Kirstie – that was different. I really paid attention without even trying, I guess. I even remember she had shoes with high heels and her hair was styled differently than in the afternoon – she put them up and made some kind of elegant bun, only to let two strands on the side down and free. Classy and sexy! We talked about my job at first and started drinking in the meantime. Whiskey, my choice… she was totally cool with it and even drank the first round in one go and didn’t even blink. I was totally petrified by that and thought something like: ‘She’s the best!’ Then we talked about her job and I found out she’s a fashion designer. “Or at least I am trying to be one. Now it’s quite a good time for me, actually. But I wasn’t always so lucky and had to do a lot of meaningless and boring jobs, just to pay the rent and stuff like that,” she explained and I asked about those other jobs. The answer was quite amusing because Kirstie listed all sorts of stuff – she walked other people’s dogs or became a sales clerk in Christmas store and had to wear a silly elf costume. She had a few funny stories about these days and then we moved on to her official job. She showed me couple photos of her designs on her cell and I told her I liked them, even though I know nothing about fashion. But I enjoyed listening to her talking about it because it was still better than if she’s asked about me. I honestly wouldn’t know what to say. My past is really really really filled with bad stuff… I can’t tell that to anybody on first date… or ever. And Kirstie was great also in this aspect – she has never really asked anything personal about me. So she’s probably not “desperately in love” with me – and that’s good. Still, we had a lot of fun, she laughed at some of my jokes and I was surprised that she was pretty entertaining too. I don’t know, I kinda expected that she’d be a little boring cause she’s so stunningly beautiful. Like I said – I probably have a crush on her. And that crush didn’t even disappear after we had s*x – yeah, on our first date and it was really great! It was a night full of orgasms for both of us. But when I woke up in the morning she had been already gone. Should I call her? I don’t wanna seem desperate or anything but I would like to have a second date too. I know, shocking :). ‘Maybe I will wait few hours… or a day. Umm, why do I sound like a woman after date?’ It’s just that I am little worried – it just occurred to me – maybe she disappeared because something wasn’t okay… I just hope she’s not mad at me for something. I don’t have energy for these dramas. *** Kirstie I am a bad person! I still can’t believe it. Today I woke up in a bed that definitely was not mine. And with a man – who definitely wasn’t Will, my fiancé. Oh, crap! I am horrible and stupid and I’ve made a huge mistake. I don’t know what got into me (oh I know, Nick did – said the ironic part of me) – I always assumed I was good and faithful. I’ve never done such a terrible thing… I wish I could go back in time and stop myself from sleeping with Nick… although that’s not entirely true. The s*x was good, to say the least. Ok, ok – it was spectacular! I wouldn’t want to miss out on this amazing night and all those feelings – it was like my body didn’t even belong to me. I was flying high in the sky, feeling amazing… I mean, of course I didn’t jump in the bed with him immediately but first we met at a bar and had a few drinks. Actually he didn’t drink much but I somehow had a more than few shots and also two glasses of wine – at least two is the number I remember. Yeah, that’s probably it – I was just drunk and that is why I acted like I was crazy. I don’t recall what we talked about during the evening but I have a feeling I said one or two things about my psychotic and manipulative mother. But he only laughed about it, like it was nothing serious – even though I told him the story how my mum insisted about me having long hair all my childhood and puberty – heck, who am I kidding? I haven’t cut them yet so she’s basically still forcing me to have the hairstyle of her choice. But I kinda got used to my hair the way it is… And I have even a boyfriend of her choice – young, beautiful, rich, just perfect, she would say. I know she’s happy I am engaged to William and I can tell you I’m 100 % sure she wouldn’t approve of Nick. A simple policeman, an American and a possible womanizer… (because the bar was so close to his apartment and the bartender kept winking at him when he thought I wasn’t looking). There you go, another reason why I slept with Nick – to get back on my mother. I know it seems terrible and I certainly didn’t plan it or anything. It’s just that lately I have a creepy feeling that I am living somebody else’s life – probably my mother’s. That’s also the reason why I accepted the opportunity to work in New York on the newest collection. Sure, I could do it in London but when they’ve asked me if I am willing to transfer to NYC for a while, I didn’t hesitate even for a moment. I knew my mother would have try to talk me out of it. But for the first time in my life – I just didn’t care. I wanted to go to New York, so I went. Nobody and nothing could have stopped me – not even the fact that William had to stay in London and couldn’t come with me. Not even that we had to postpone our wedding and I laid some preparations responsibilities on Will. It sounds horrible, doesn’t it? Every girl should be happy that she’s marrying a Prince – and even though William is not royalty, he is Prince – that’s his last name and not only that – it does come with a great family fortune and great manners too. Just a perfect prince for a princess like me, my mum would say. Truth is, I keep wondering, if I even want to be “a princess”. What if I want to be something on my own and not just a trophy wife? Ok, now I am just trying to justify myself to not sound like a jerk and that’s totally not fair to Will. I used to think I really loved him – I mean – why shouldn’t I? He’s so sweet, kind, intelligent and good looking. And he was always so nice to me and I guess he really loves me – or at least he thinks he does. Sometimes it almost seems to me that he just wants to get married quickly and jump to the end of story – the happy ending, like in fairy tales. But he supported me in everything – even when I told him about NYC.  “You go and win them over with your designs, honey! And I will stay here and prepare everything for our wedding. So then when you come back, you won’t have to worry about a single thing,” he said. Amazing and selfless, right? I mean - I should have never cheated on him! He doesn’t deserve this. And I don’t deserve him at all. But there is one tiny little detail that still bothers me about Will. He wanted to wait with s*x after the wedding! Can you believe that? Who does that nowadays? Maybe some really really religious people but that’s just not William’s case. He told me that he just believes that relationships between men and women used to be much better and simpler when it was normal to have s*x only after the wedding. “My parents have been together for forty years now and they are still very much in love. I wish I had a marriage like theirs and that’s why I am trying to do everything like they did. Follow their path every step of the way,” he explained to me when we first started dating. And you know what? I found it really touching and romantic back then. I guess I was pretty naïve or I’ve became much more cynical since then – I don’t know. I really wanted to be with him and I believed that after we get married all these things with chemistry would just come naturally. But now I am not that sure about that. While ago I even I talked about it with some of my friends and they told me that William could be a closeted gay and maybe even without him knowing it for sure. Now I wish it would be true because then I wouldn’t feel so bad about cheating on him. However… I know he’s not gay because there were times when we “almost did it” but then we stopped when we remembered about the waiting… I felt that he was aroused, so no – it’s not it. I guess I just have to admit that Will is a great guy who is a also a desperate romantic and a perfect gentleman. Everything that Nick so obviously isn’t… And still – I’ve honestly never felt so magically with William. Our kisses and touching – all that was nice but it just wasn’t IT! And I never knew until yesterday. One weird moment between Nick and me and it hit me like a wrecking ball – BANG, WE HAVE CHEMISTRY TOGETHER. It all started in that bar. We were just talking and I remember I was thinking that it is a little lame that Nick probably takes all his dates here. But then it happened – I told him something about my family – I think it was something along the lines that I am close to my mother but I wish I could have spent more time with dad – because he died when I was teenager. He tried to comfort me even though I was quite okay (it’s been a long time, you know) and he grabbed my hand and stroked it a little. I immediately felt like I was on fire. His hand was rough and strong but his touch was gentle. I guess that was the moment I officially stopped thinking and reasoning – I looked into his eyes and without hesitating I leaned towards him and gave him a kiss. Just a small one but still – it was the best first kiss I’ve ever had. Such heat and passion in one simple kiss. When it ended, I just knew I needed more of this. And I guess he thought so too because he pulled me closer towards him and his hand has moved from my waist lower and lower to my thigh. We started kissing again – somehow more urgently than before. Or tongues were playing, our bodies were pressing against each other and I caressed his dark hair and touched his strong neck. I felt like a drug addict – I had him near me but I needed more. I wanted to see his naked chest and touch it and I wanted his wandering hand everywhere on my body – but that certainly couldn’t be done there in public. “Let’s go somewhere quieter,” I heard myself whispering in his ear and I couldn’t resist and had to kiss him on the neck too. “Ok, cool. I live nearby, so let’s pay and get outta here,” he replied quickly, looked on me one more time and gave me a little kiss on the lips, as if he didn’t want to break our connection either. I have to say I don’t ever remember the way to his apartment. We weren’t running or anything but in my mind it was just a short dull moment before the door of his tiny flat closed behind us and I jumped right to his arms and took up where we left off in the bar. I swear that I took his clothes off in a few seconds. I embraced him and we kissed again – a lot. He helped me out of my dress but he was taking his time with my lingerie and for some time he just touched my body over the fabric. Still it was hot like hell… Then finally I was naked in front of him and he just smiled at me and whispered: “You are so beautiful, so perfect,…” Then he began a journey across my body with his mouth – first it started with my breasts and my n*****s, after that - my tummy. He put me on the bed and continued with his lips and tongue lower and lower. I never knew that a man could possibly get me excited like this. He was just teasing me for a while and just in that moment when I moaned and almost started begging him, he moved closer and I felt him inside me. I hungrily kissed him again and it was like my body has missed him all my life. Now it was finally complete and I wanted that moment to last forever…. It was just wonderful, what do you want to hear?! I would be relieved (or would I?) if I could tell that was it and the night ended there. But no, after a little break we did it again, only now it was me who was “in charge” and on the top. Awesome again…  And honestly I don’t know what time it was, when we finally fell asleep… I just know I woke up in his strong arms completely naked and somehow ultimately comfortable and happy. But then reality hit me and I remembered Will. I started to feel really ashamed that I cheated on him and I couldn’t bear the idea of talking to Nick and telling him what a horrible person that I am. Maybe he would judge me and he would probably ask what it means for him – and I just didn’t know that yet. I had to get out of there – right away. So I got dressed quickly and as silently as I could. I grabbed my things and just left. I just hope Nick will take that as a clear signal that it was a mistake and that anything like this wouldn’t happen again… It definitely won’t! I hope he won’t call me…