Absence
1927 Words
I do not desire anything other than to be silenced by the pain inside me ... As if I were a fish looking for a river that had dried up long ago ...! Do you know the meaning of this feeling? Do you know what it means to live because you have to! You have no choice or alternative but death .. Rather, even death will not come to you obediently if you want it or wish it .. Do you know, my lord, and my lady, I mean that someone asks you about your conditions and you say .. I live and breathe air every day, every hour, every minute and moment .. Do you know It means that you wish at every moment that the days passed by you and months and years would pass, to swallow up with them that bitterness that would bite you and disappear In the corridors of the whole universe to escape from something or some sadness or something that weighed down your shoulders and carried your heart until it made you fatigued ... you know what it means to draw a smile on your face while you are drowning with it from the cups of torment one cup after another .. and the turtle of moments passes very slowly stacking its stones one After the other until you apply it to your breath and lock it inside your chest, which has narrowed and the needle hole is no longer open and the whole universe is no longer able to you Do you know the meaning of all that ?? .. I know .. I also know that I lost the shine of things ,, I know that this sparkle left me without returning
In the corridors of the whole universe to escape from something or some sadness or something that weighed down your shoulders and carried your heart until it made you fatigued ... you know what it means to draw a smile on your face while you are drowning with it from the cups of torment one cup after another .. and the turtle of moments passes very slowly stacking its stones one After the other until you apply it to your breath and lock it inside your chest, which has narrowed and the needle hole is no longer open and the whole universe is no longer able to you Do you know the meaning of all that ?? .. I know .. I also know that I lost the shine of things ,, I know that this sparkle left me without returning
In the corridors of the whole universe to escape from something or some sadness or something that weighed down your shoulders and carried your heart until it made you fatigued ... you know what it means to draw a smile on your face while you are drowning with it from the cups of torment one cup after another .. and the turtle of moments passes very slowly stacking its stones one After the other until you apply it to your breath and lock it inside your chest, which has narrowed and the needle hole is no longer open and the whole universe is no longer able to you Do you know the meaning of all that ?? .. I know .. I also know that I lost the shine of things ,, I know that this sparkle left me without returning
I remember exactly the last time I met this spark of that passion. He promised me to come back again. Yes, I remember that he promised me that he would not be absent for long and that he would return as he used to come back to me when he left us ,, I waited for him .. and the wait was long .. At the beginning I did not believe .. I lied ... I lied my feeling .My sense must have deceived me this time. No, no, I can't believe ... Has the sparkle really gone and everything around me disappeared ...? Is my life extinguished? Have you turned to darkness? Ari, but I don't see ?! Feel but don't feel? Where are you dear sparkle? Why did you leave ? Maybe I offended you one day without knowing ... Answer .. Answer me, have I wronged you?
Sparkle, why did you let me down and leave? Why do you tell me ?? I never angered you ... our departure from me ... perhaps because it has become my only antidote ... or perhaps I have tormented my pain and my bitterness together !! Did that piss you off, Glitter? For this I left forever? For this, you left me without returning? How tough you are !!! .. I very much begged you to come back to me again, and I wished you would return .. but you did not answer me .. Perhaps it has become the truth and we have to accept it ... despite its wildness, cruelty, stubbornness and toughness. But it remains the truth with all its features ... Sometimes it warns and destroys at other times ... But even if the wind apologized, the branches would still be broken ... But now and only now, I wonder do I have to suffer until the end? I have become accustomed to my mother ... and even if happiness visited me or knocked on my door, the sparkle one day, I will not believe!
Maybe because I got used to bitterness in my life before your departure from me ... perhaps because it has become my only antidote ... or perhaps I have tormented my pain and my bitterness together !! Did that piss you off, Glitter? For this I left forever? For this, you left me without returning? How tough you are !!! .. I very much begged you to come back to me again, and I wished you would return .. but you did not answer me .. Perhaps it has become the truth and we have to accept it ... despite its wildness, cruelty, stubbornness and toughness. But it remains the truth with all its features ... Sometimes it warns and destroys at other times ... But even if the wind apologized, the branches would still be broken ... But now and only now, I wonder do I have to suffer until the end? I have become accustomed to my mother ... and even if happiness visited me or knocked on my door, the sparkle one day, I will not believe! Is it my desire to be purified from something? Do pains purify us from within? Did I buy my happiness that hid behind the distant horizons of my pain? It seems to me that the pain cleanses everything ... there was inevitably it ... to never escape from it to escape ... I will never forget that day that day when everything disappeared from before me and went to a place where there is no return ... and it leaked out of my hands All my dreams, my childhood and his sweetness, but all my life and robbed me of my will ... As if this solid earth became its straw drowning in the middle of a large ocean waves under my feet and roaring like a hungry lion wanting to charge, then my cry rose like thunder to split the width of the sky with a flash of fire burning faces and ironing hearts ... Ah then ah .. I feel empty-handed, empty-handed of everything From every feeling, idea, or even opinion ... I sink in the middle of a bottom of emptiness, is it a void or an empty stomach? , I have no difference between both of them, because they are both empty-handed, just like me. .I am a pulse without veins or veins without a pulse! And your hands extended at that moment to my shoulder to slide your fingertips with the skill of a musician and the sweetness of an artist to play on the strings of my sorrows, a gentle melody saying: Everything will return as it was, but better than it was ... I turned to you and filled the mouth of my tears falling from the sky of my eyes drenched with accumulated sadness That and when ??! ... and does anything come back or any person absent?! ... an idea may be born and then disappear, another idea is born, and a dream may be born and then we wake up from it, so we find it nothing but a pipe dream, but we sleep and dream again Then the dream will come true ... but ................ and before I finish, I put your finger on my lips so I locked them on my words that were trapped inside of me while I meditated and you said to me: Even if the sky is sad and with black tears flowing Even if you feel a cold, I will cover you with all the dust, so you can warm yourself with it ... Do not say goodbye, my mistress, there will always be a meeting between us, and we will meet on all paths even if we are not together! Even if the body is absent, the soul will remain .. the idea will remain .. the existence will remain .. the existence itself exists ... and how many absent there are and how many are absent and missing! I answered him while feeling his hand with my fingers, as if I was checking it to make sure it was there, saying: How many An assumption that does not exist and exists is not what is supposed and my supposed not ... Your smile appears to me as if it is a sparkle illuminating the dark desert of my life and you tell me reverently: Lady of my virtuous life, this day is a blissful day for our hearts who have lived together for a long time ... even before I knew you, maybe since Eternity! ... it has been written for both of us that you will never separate, even if the bodies are separated from existence and from life, we will never separate ... Trust that you are my beauty and there are no beauties except you in the presence of my eyes ... I will not replace your existence even with the sun, and I will not replace the shine Your eyes, not the lights of the whole world. Let me dive into your depths before I go ... and be confident that no matter what form or way I go, I will not leave ... I will never leave from Space your life! ... I love you very much .. Even if my body departs from this world, I will never leave .. I will never leave ... And at that time I looked at you as I was full of your eyes and I saw a smile that defeats the bitterness that with its brushes its pale color on the page of my lips saying: We all travel We all leave or we will one day ... I know that it is not clear from that .. all of us travel in one way or another, or leave one way or another ... Ideas ... Bodies ... dreams
For people ... and happiness ... or sorrows ... feelings and feelings ... everything can go away and disappear for a little or a lot, sometimes or forever ... and the departure remains ....
- Writer
