When the queen loves

The thing that does not exist yet

The stars shine through what they contain and not with what we give And the star that all the stars do not resemble .. This is how I began the first line of her message ... Did you not know how to start. How to write. How to explain? ... or what to say? And if you find what to say ... how and when do you say it? Now it begin .. No No .. It is still early .. Not yet ... Then suddenly and persistently .. No .. but now .. And now I start ... Then hold the pen in her hand !!!! And the letters flowed, followed by the words, and slipped on her lips, the thirsty for everything .. and everything she wore .. and the sweetness of the transparent words ran Her heart dries up and watered it, and it sprouts a green plant of tenderness, tranquility and happiness ... You are yes. You are the one I am looking for. .You see why are you so late so many years? .. Where did you come from ?? She asked sadly, dripping from the pen down the face of the letter, drowning her in a groan of tears.

Were we on time ?? and if we were, is it fair that you come now? Abeer inhaled the words that filled her perfume throughout the paper, which is still more than half of it, like the white of snow, waiting for the warmth of her words and the warmth of her words to melt away from the eagerness of the meeting! And the words embraced her !!! And in the embrace of the letter with the letter, she said to him: I flee from myself to you. So contain me .. Take me in your arms and hold me to you Let me contemplate your eyes ...

But what do I see? So we came to her from above the lines, whispering into her ear, what do you see? She drew near for a while .. then moved two steps away while still contemplating his eyes in reverence, resting and trembling! Then she answered him while muttering with his quivering, agonized lips: I see in your eyes treachery ... I see that they are waving to me from afar as if she was saying goodbye to me or doing that after a while ... Then I fled to the near far! And she whispered to herself in trembling pain: If he dawns soon, he may leave me or he will definitely do so, he will not continue to love him.

Tomorrow or the day after tomorrow he will let me down ... he will kill me dryly ... he will bored me ... Yes ... his eyes told me that and the eye’s speech always true ... I smelled in their gaze the smell of gunpowder waving to me from afar with a snowy hand hiding behind a veil of warm emotion ... and its time will not I find him .. then she cried and started crying for a long time She snapped her hand from his hand cruelly and quickly tense, and she said to him firmly: No ... I will not wait until you do it. I will not let you break me ... I will not let you break me let me down .. No No I will never let you ... and with a voice raging in crying and intermittent tones torn apart by the cold knife of sadness And she says, I will not let you let me down ... but rather I will not believe you .. I want the affectionate beloved .. you understand .. the compassionate .. I want him .. he is the owner of the big heart .. the owner of the tender hand that does not approach me but wipes over my hair as I used to wipe on me My little cat felt tenderly.

A hand that does not extend except to tender ... to tenderness ... only patted my shoulder and my back with tender fingertips ... my fingertips feel the locks of my long, downward hair On my shoulders and moving it with the air left and right ... a hand that envelops my heart with its warmth and always senses it to reassure it ... and nurture it ... to nurture it with love and longing ... as a little child ... I want this one who nurtures my heart ... warms it ... has compassion for it ... embraces it ... and then ... then she fell silent, so he grabbed her hand to bring it back to his chest once more while he whispered into her little ear and felt her fingers with long, slow touches. He said: Who told you that I am not? Who told you that I am not the one you are looking for? She contemplated him in reverence and in a trembling voice as she said in a suspicious tone: I need someone to hold my hand and hold me together and tell me how much you are grief ... so your grief is making me tired ... Oh ... she said while groaning from the pain of her torn soul like a piece of cloth worn out over time ..

Oh then uh, the pain in my heart crossed all the borders .. I approached her more until his breath became mixed with her breath and I even heard his whistling breath piercing her ear and penetrating her, or trying to sneak into her heart .. but she looked as she stared for a long time in his eyes, saying as if she was telling him what he did not expect of her: But treachery is male ... lying is male ... stupidity is male ... so he said while smiling arrogantly: But deception is female ... ugliness is female ,,, and stupidity is also female ... So I exchanged the look with him stubbornly, steadfastly, insistence and affirmation. She said: And I realized that ugliness Male Individual, trying to calm her, with tenderness mixed with a swallow, he said ... but I see that nature is female.

And happiness is female ... and she was distracted by her imagination far away, and the pen fell in her hand gradually like raindrops shyly descending from the sky and she took slow steps as she wandered around her room and circled around the paper as she looked at the pen with apprehension mixed with stubbornness and then rang in her ear the words of one of them as she said to her one evening and with laughter carrying From mockery the most confidence and certainty you carry: You think that you will find the happiness that you dream of with a man .. you understand him .. you search in an illusion and search in a mirage ... These men, my dear hearts, are locked boxes Only they, and whenever and wanting, open it. Then I approached him, whispering as the hissing of the snake, saying: Only they are the only ones who open their hearts and secrets whenever they want and close them however and whenever they want ... Then I settled in her sitting on the couch indifferent .. This is how they always ..

The woman has nothing but endurance and patience ... her man may return to her one day drunk with wine of new love, or ravaged in exciting lust ... or overwhelmed with new pleasure ... and I looked at her as if she consoled her condition more than she consoled and leaned her head back while sighing: Oh, but the female must To bear Yes ... she bears . . she carries him in her arms like a baby . . and she is patient with kicks his feet in the face . . or punches he distributes it left and right with his rebellious hands demanding his food or when the time comes for breastfeeding ... It is okay, so this is how the little child always does when he complains Or he gets angry ... the mother has nothing but fulfill the desires of her child ... even if she spoils him ... she hides her anger and suffocates her as she looks back, saying: And where is she in his life ??? I do not want such a vaunted man . . I want . . and before she continued silencing her and interrupted her with insistence and a desperate defiant tone saying: You will not find him, my dear

You will not find him ... He is the only one who wants ... and achieves what he wants . . if not by carrots then then by intimidation .. with a bitter murmur and a tone dripping with sorrow with bitterness and despair: She said to her: The battle always ends in his favor, or I say rather in his own interest ... and his personal interest ... She stood up and with great objection, echoing her words that poured the taste of bitter melon in her mouth and with the bitterness of the cactus while she was still repeating ... (His interest ... his favor is ... intimidation) ... and he shouted inside her with suspicious panic .. Then she ran back to the paper And she caught the pen with shots from the flashes of thunder that appeared in the sky of her anger, and her pen drove with a torrent of grumbling rain, and the letters collapsed in revolt from her pen

It will never be ... it will not be ... and whatever it is ... I will not despair ... it is ... it exists ... exists ... it dwells inside my soul I see and breathe .... I feel his presence, the warmth of his breath stinging me .. He may not be like you ... He may hide among you ... He may appear in your good intentions, and then return to disappear between the folds of your malicious intentions! You may see it as a bright morning shining when your eyes are set off, and it will come out with its rays to illuminate your souls with clarity ... luminosity and purity ... it may disappear when it hits the rock of your greed and drowns the sea of ​​matter that fell into it, and then it soon comes back to resurrect when it becomes a cry of truth inside your chests because you are About greed, when tears of conscience saturated with the pains of sins and the regret of remorse, then he appears And the morning of

lightsome

heals your mother and patters with a hand of tenderness on the breasts, heals what is in them and calms her down, and the seeds of hope sprout in her again ... Then the pen came back to fall from her hand to bring back the same ball of despair again and she wears her dark dress to cloud her face from pallor, tension and sadness She remembered the words of that forty-year-old man who lives behind them in the building adjacent to theirs and said, sighing in a quagging voice muffled with a muffled pain, and she leaned her back on the chair back and she said: How dry a man is

Arrogant ... and cold-tempered ... I did not see like the printing of a mean in my life ... and in his sorrow in pain, she said, "I used to think of it on me other than what I had received from it ?! . .I felt that poison was running in my veins whenever I saw it .. what a careless man. Single lounging in this life and they only have sitting with women and playing with their hearts ... And warmly she said: Then what? ... He comes to propose to me !!! To declare his repentance at my hands ..? Then she rang her hand on the table in front of her as if she was ringing the alarm and she said "Liar . . a liar .. not him . . you are not him ... Then she laughs sarcastically mixed with his bitterness, saying: They all believed his alleged repentance .. Believe that he wants to purify himself of his sins in front of me ..And he confesses it on the confessional to take from me the instrument of forgiveness !!! What fools!

With a question filled with certainty, she said to herself: Or are they liars like him? Yes, yes, they are like him .. they live on deception .. they respect the lie and sanctify it without realizing it, but rather unconsciously from them .. Hahaha and smiled enraged as she remembers that he wanted to gain from her when she refused it He could not ... let them know ... why they would understand ... He approached her one morning as she crossed the street and turned right and left to ward off the evil of cars, and if a heavy wind blew from her side, and behold, he cast his pale shadow full of wrinkles that his sins and mistakes had dug on the face of his abhorrent shadow, He greeted her and then approached a speeding truck that she wanted to crush before redeeming herself and her soul, surprising her by asking him (Did you find him?), So she turned to him, looking for the meaning of his words between his eyes, and she found nothing but Smoke of schadenfreude and cursing emanated from his looks .. Then I asked him for clarification .. and found what? He answered her in a tone that was not without irony and sarcasm mixed with a sense of humor and belittling, saying: (The expected), he has not come yet to take your hand to where you want .. and to the place where you dream? And she said loud and intermittent laughter at her ear like thunderbolts on a snowy winter's night, saying: But oh long, you wait for Yien !!! Then he approached her in a whisper, questioning lightly dripping in (Do you really see him coming) ??!. She did not pay attention to him, but rather did not even hear him ... She left him and went She went while immersed in this phantom that possessed her and possessed it .. until she no longer saw anything else .. until she fell in love with that sword that she began to see wherever she turned and directed ?? She fell in love with his ghost and melted with him ... she lived inside him ... his dwelling and dwelling ... and reality mixed with imagination, and it became an undeniable reality ?! Imagination became immersed in the reality of reality inevitably ... She did not realize which one to believe, which one is honest ... Both grab her to sink the ball of her thoughts and dreams with wetness and her certainty between both of them hardly caught by one's hand until it flies away in the sky of the other hand ... and no longer Unknowingly! Is she waiting for the moment that he will be tormented like others or will she keep looking and waiting You are apprehensive and anxious for that moment to happen without it, and before it happens ... !!! The torment of waiting is a thousand times more terrible than the torment itself ... So will the genie of this spectrum come out of the sea of ​​passion to conquer it with his love, compassion, tender strength and strong tenderness ... to lie in his arms and guide her soul to the shores of his hands that are surrounded by the fence of his manhood and drink from his cup of sweetness willingly ..

. Her hands sat shaking, then the words ran from her pen and she took her breathless breath as if she was in a long race against time .. Time .. Hour .. Days and months years .. Everyone told her, Come on, do not hesitate to make your decisions .. Do not delay or delay your steps. Come on, decide your fate Now ... and now specifically ... stop waiting ... so either your destiny is going to an angel or to perdition ...

She never wanted to go to the slave market ... She never wanted to sell her dream to the one who pays the most ... She will not give this spectrum to someone who wears the fake mask, and then it turns into a foolish being .. strange to her .. close to her but Far from it !! And the page of the paper folded like a record ... and its papers jumped quickly, a wild rabbit, which the hunter feared to spot or turn to, and disappeared among the folds of the envelope, which despite its small size appeared before her eyes as a vast and majestic world

It is full of everything that the soul can bear and what it cannot bear ... and what all hearts can and cannot contain! Suddenly she found herself in front of the mailbox, and did not know how she jumped all the steps of the building's stairs .. Although the building's elevator was broken, it descended to the street with lightning speed that precedes all elevators !!! How did that happen ?! Rather, she is rational or hears something about what is going on around her .. She only saw before her eyes the flash of that small message that shines brightly at the edge of the new sword thirsty for amputation and cutting! Yes, amputating all lies ... and cutting off suspicion with certainty ... a decisive moment ... in the midst of a dark truth in a cloudy sky A moment you break the dust of all silence and hear every sound .. Her message arrives .. inevitably it will arrive .. and he who is more deserving of it will receive it .. He knows that it will arrive someday! .. He is waiting for her and must have received it .. You will not believe their depressing words .. You will not sell Truthfulness lies ... they will rise no matter what they fell and they will be announced no matter how much they land .. they lie to truth when everyone believes the lie, but it is not ... for every wound has its own medicine and every

bird has its air .....