Finding Home

Awkward

Merit

I don’t what Lena and Cait are fighting about but I can tell something is up when they walk in and they aren’t looking at each other. Elle and I have been sitting at the table for a few minutes when they show up. I know the girls like to give me a lot of s**t about showing up late but I actually got here early tonight.

It may have had something to do with the fact that Whitney is being a pain in my ass and I was looking for any excuse to leave her place early but I’m not going to tell them that.

“Hey Mer,” Lena set her jacket on the stool across from mine and leaned over to give me a hug.

“Hey Lena,” I reply, looking between her and Cait. Cait gives me a quick wave and says something I can’t hear to Elle. “What’s going on with you two?” I ask Lena.

“I’m a selfish b***h, but it’s nothing. I’m not going to let it ruin our night out.”

“Ahh,” I nod but keep my mouth shut. Truthfully, whatever Cait said to piss Lena off probably was somewhat true. Lena can get absorbed in her own drama and lose sight of other people but I know she means well and don’t want my head to be bitten off next so I don’t say s**t.

I’m surprised that Cait would even attempt to say anything, given that she knows Lena better than anyone else and had to know Lena wasn’t going to take it well. I may have known these girls for my whole life but sometimes I still don’t understand them.

“I’m going to order us drinks, what do you guys want?” I say, eager to get away from the tension at the table until it cools down.

Lena narrows her eyes at me as if she has something to say but thinks better of it before she gives me her drink order. Cait and Elle tell me what they want and I take my time walking to the bar.

I’ve been here a couple of times before since I still live in the area but it hasn’t been my favorite place to be. I don’t mind drinking but outside of the occasional party, I keep things low key. When I want to escape my own thoughts, I will turn to the canvas instead.

I see the bartender is someone we went to school with and I try not to cringe. Her name is Lynn Newman and I don’t have a problem with her but things have always been awkward because our parents hate each other. Something happened before we were born between my mom and her dad. I can’t remember the exact details but I believe mom and him were dating when he slept with Lynn’s mom.

Either way, it looks like I can’t avoid the awkwardness tonight. I hold up my hand to catch Lynn’s attention rather than yelling across the bar over the loud music and she makes a face but quickly recovers, coming over to take my order. I order our drinks and while she’s making them, I look around the bar, I can’t help but notice a woman that is staring at me from where Lynn was standing earlier. She has dark hair and eyes, I can’t place her face for a moment.

When I do, I try not to groan out loud. The woman is Lynn’s best friend, Sasha, not only that though. I slept with her one night at a party last year and she hasn’t gotten over it since. We would never have worked out, even if we hooked up in a different situation but I don’t know if Sasha realizes that.

The problem with growing up in a small town and staying after high school is that the people you sleep with can already have a long history with your family. Or rather their family and your family can have bad blood before you even meet. In this case, neither of my parents were involved but my mom’s brother, Jeremy, and my Aunt Abigail were.

I’ve never said anything to Elle because I doubt she knows about it, but her dad used to be married to Sasha’s mom before he married my aunt. I overheard my parents talking about it once when we were all teens and it sounds like there was cheating on both sides of that marriage. I may be biased, but I can see why my uncle might have been tempted by aunt Abby, since they’d been in love since they were kids and he just found out the twins were his.

It’s harder to understand why his wife would sleep with one of his coworkers after they had been married for such a short time. I try not to judge but in a small town it’s not just my opinion that matters. I think everything turned out for the best since they both married the people they had affairs with and are still together. It just goes to show they shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place, I guess. The part that I struggle with is how my uncle can still work in an office with that guy.

My thoughts are interrupted when Lynn slams our drinks down in front of me. I am confused why she would be so hostile but I realize I’ve been staring at Sasha while thinking all of that. She must not like the idea of her friend and I together. I almost tell her she has nothing to worry about but I bet she’d take offense to that and get even more pissed.

Back at the table the girls seem to have moved passed their issues and are laughing about something when I walk up. I join them and we talk about our significant others for a few minutes. Cait vents about her relationship with Quinn and how needy he can be, Lena comments about how much she wishes Weston could have come home with her, and I share my annoyance at Whitney’s superficial nonsense.

After a while, we all realize that Elle hasn’t said anything for some time. Lena makes a guilty expression and drinks her cocktail. Cait looks down and stirs her drink with the straw, leaving me to be the one to say something.

“Have you met anyone you like at school, Elle?”

She shrugs. “No one has caught my eye or shown any interest in me.”

I nudge Cait and she speaks up, “What do you mean no one has shown any interest? I can’t believe that.”

“Me either, you’re beautiful and smart. There is no way you don’t have a a guy or two trying to take you out,” Lena nods.

Elle blushes and looks away, I take the hint but before I can change the topic, Lena opens her mouth and makes everything worse.

“How long has it been since you had a boyfriend? Please tell me you’ve dated someone since….what was his name? James? I can’t remember. Anyway, that was like tenth grade. Tell me you’ve been on a date since then.”

I almost laugh out loud at how oblivious Lena is but I feel terrible for Elle in this moment so I don’t say anything. All I can say is that no matter what I do, tonight seems to be the most awkward outing we’ve had since before I can remember.