Between the Lines

It was the end of July and the air was thick and sticky due to the humidity level increasing. The golden light from the setting sun blinded me as I open my eyes from having an afternoon nap. The last week of summer seems to come faster than I imagined. There was no way I was ready to start school and suffer through days of sitting in a classroom with insufficient electric fans. Summer in the Philippines is no joke. I hated the summer heat, that was for sure. But I cannot just stop time and continue to isolate myself in my room. My summer is already unproductive, given that I opted to stay at home than go on summer vacation. School is fast approaching and that means that I have to see my friends and childhood best friend, Khonon Tan, aka the one I’m in love with unfortunately. Who would be an i***t that loves his best friend romantically? Of course, that’s me. We are classmates ever since daycare school, and that’s why we got to be friends eventually. His parents and mine know each other. We are the same in age, circle of friends, feelings, oh except for the last one. I am hopelessly in love with him since I can remember, I have just grown to his presence because we always hang out together. “Ayanah, wake up already. It’s almost night time and you haven’t got out of your room the whole day!” My mother exclaimed, breaking my train of thoughts to continue to wander into oblivion. “You haven’t eaten the whole day, are you trying to die?” she continued. Well, typical Filipino mom. “I will go down in a few minutes Mom,” I replied before trying my best to lift my body from the bed, my joint sore from laying all day. Standing up, my gaze falls to the full-body mirror on my wall. My hair is all over my face and my oversize shirt hangs low to my knees. “I look like s**t,” I said with a bored look, looking at my overall appearance. I am desperately in need of a cold shower. I proceed to grab a towel and then have a shower, the cold water that runs through my skin relieves the heat and is so refreshing. My mind is also refreshed. After my shower rituals, I opted to wear an oversize shirt again and shorts. I’m a fan of oversize shirts, I do not mind if I wear that every day. I’m not a girl who gave off girlish vibes, I’m more into the boyish type. I exited my room. As I journey down the stairs, I couldn’t help to wonder what is Khonon doing right now. Khonon spent his summer in their hometown, which is so far away. And of course, it is in my favor, I haven’t seen him for almost two months. My other friends are also on vacation, so I don’t have someone bothering me throughout the summer. My summer has never been peaceful. “Does he already come back from vacation to the province?” I mentally ask myself. I wonder if those times that I have not seen him faded my feelings towards the boy. At least a bit, I convince myself. But who am I kidding? Even though it doesn’t seem like it, I actually kind of miss him. Almost every summer vacation, we always hang out together in each other house. The feeling of spending summer with him is kind of rewarding, even though I try my best to noy slipped and say things that will risk our friendship. A little better than wasting unproductive hours holed up in my rotting nest. Kind of… for a lack of a better word, nice. But as much as I would love to hold on to all these paltry kind-of, there’s still a minor catch, ‘cause there always is. See, the thing is, spending summer with a guy you’re trying (very best, mind everyone) to get over. Besides, you can’t really get over someone who’s going to be in your line-of-sight 24/7. It’s like scientifically impossible. “I’m really a hopeless case,” I audibly sigh. Making my way to the kitchen. “What’s with the long face?” my mother asks as I enter the kitchen. She is arranging some kitchen wares. “There is leftover chicken soup from lunch, just reheat it,” I look at her, she almost finishes. “Nothing Mom, I’m just thinking about something,” I lied. I don’t want my mother to find out that I’m in love with Khonon, never. She treats Khonon like his own son and I don’t want to taint that bond. I rather suffer in silence and mask my emotions, I’m good at that though. I reheat the soup and stand on the counter as I wait for it to boil. My mother exited the kitchen but before she goes completely gone out of my sight, she looks back. “Oh, before I forgot, Khonon came here earlier while you were asleep. He didn’t want to bother you, so he’ll come here again later. The mention of my best friend piqued my interest. I just thinking about it earlier. I hadn’t been able to properly talk to him this all summer except for a few texts here and there. There was barely any service in the province he’s in, and I’m thankful for that. “oh really? So he’s back already, I’m gonna give him a call,” I told her while retrieving the bowl of soup from the microwave. I pulled my phone out of my pocket to dial Khonon, while I’m eating. He was quick to answer. “Ayanah, how are you?” Khonon answered the phone. “I’m fine, still breathing, just a waste of oxygen,” I joke. He laughs. “Let me guess, you spent your summer holed up in your room, are you?” I can see him grinning through the phone. “I hate to admit that you’re right,” I said with an unamused tone. I hate that he knows me too well. “Hope you didn’t miss me too much.” I lightly laugh and looked up at the ceiling. “Yeah, yeah. Come to my house tonight. Let’s hang out,” Khonon suggested. “Sounds like a plan,” I responded. I should have hesitated about his ‘cause I may blurt out words that will reveal my unrequited feeling towards him but I kinda miss him. I just mentally prepared myself to act normal and rational as usual. “Great. Come as soon as you can.” And with that, Khonon hung up. I quickly finish my meal and head to my bedroom to change clothes, in an attempt to look presentable. A few moments later, I give up looking presentable. I feel like I’m a desperate i***t. Whatever, Khonon knows me too well, and I think he will gonna notice that I exerted effort in the way I dress. Might as well change into comfortable clothes. Once I’m finished, I made my way to Khonon’s house. I wish I can face today Khonon and talk to him without the constant feeling of wanting to gut his stomach out of fear of saying something stupid.