Can't Hate You

Nightmares

Dean

I did what he said and felt a little bit better than earlier. Even that he cared made me feel better. I never knew how much I really needed it. For the first time I felt really comfortable. As if I wasn’t so alone anymore.. and I was afraid that it wouldn’t last long. What he said.. had such a big meaning for me even if it was something pretty simple or normal.. he never did that. He never cared even a bit so it was really special to me.

I reached out and grabbed one of my blunts. I was already way more calm than earlier but I needed to make sure that it would stay like that. As soon as I lit it up I felt the relief inside of me..

Sun

The beautiful dream I had about Dean turned into a nightmare that made me want to die instead of wake up again. He broke my heart and left me in a way that was worse than a nightmare.. with betrayal and lies. As if everything was fake.. everything around us started burning and I died crying in that fire.

It was stupid but it made me wake up with a high blood pressure.. I couldn't remember the details but when I woke up I was breathing heavily and sweating. I turned the bedside light on and the dimmer light made me feel a little more comfortable but it wasn’t enough. The bad feeling in my stomach wouldn’t disappear... something was wrong.. either with him or with me.

It was almost 5am and I didn’t want to bother him.. I didn’t want to wake him up but I had to. I called him even if he was going to be pissed.I just needed to check on him. Hearing his voice would be enough. He picked up and I blinked the tears in my eyes away. I wasn’t going to cry for something so stupid.

“Sun?” he asked. His voice was really husky but he didn’t sound like he was tired or like I woke him up. “Dean are you okay?” I asked immediately. He laughed softly and I felt some kind of relief. “I am.. but what's wrong with you..?” I took a deep breath ran my hand through my hair.. “Why aren't you sleeping?” I answered with a question.

“I never sleep and I was smoking. How about YOU?” he answered. I pulled the warm blanket up to my chin. “I had a nightmare..” I closed my eyes and tried to forget it. “Aw my baby.. that’s why you called daddy?”. I blushed.

“What was it about?” he asked and I had to smile.. “I don’t want to talk about it. I only wanted to hear your voice and check on you because it felt so real..” my low voice made me so tired. It was so dark and comfortable that his beautiful voice made it even harder to stay awake.. it was like he was telling me a story when he was talking. He was speaking so slowly.. so chilled..

“I'm okay babygirl.. don't worry about me and no matter what you saw.. it was a nightmare so forget it.” he said and my smile got bigger. I pulled my knees to myself. “I wish I could be by your side right now..” I said and his reply made me feel more comfortable. “If I would know that your dad wouldn’t kill me, I would pick you up right now and never let you go.”. I wanted to scream. That was so cute. I chuckled instead.

“You know what? He agreed to meet you.. the dinner you know?” I got exited with the thought of it.. “Wait what? So you mean your dad wants to cut me into pieces, grill me and eat me then with a nice salad and other stuff?” I laughed but I was too loud so I had to cover my mouth with my hand. “Stop! You're making me laugh!” I said whispering but still laughing.. “Good..” I knew he was smiling.. I could feel that. I sighed.. lovely sigh. “Do you feel better now?” he asked. “Yes.. thank you..” I answered and I felt so calm and comfortable.. just like I felt when I was laying on his chest a few hours ago..

“Are you sure babygirl?” his voice wasn’t husky anymore.. it was quiet.. soft.. but seductive. I chuckled again. “Yes daddy..” I answered and he groaned. “You don’t know what calling me like this does to me..”

It seemed like things between us got a little more serious and easy.. as if we both were more comfortable after the night we spent together.. after getting so close.. it was really important to me.. he was really important to me. I never thought that someone could mean so much to me after such a short time.

“You know.. I can’t stop thinking about your body..” he whispered as if he read my thoughts through the phone. My heart started beating faster immediately when I remembered every single move and felt his hands on my body. I wanted to tell him the same but I couldn’t because I could barely breathe. It was the most beautiful experience I made.. “How you looked at me and how you moaned.. god, I love hearing you moan.. the way you arched your back.. especially how you dug your nails into my back... I will love these scars forever.”

My eyelids felt so heavy with every word that he said although I got excited at the same time. Thinking about it made me feel that special type of way.. that made me want it to happen again. I wanted him.. I didn’t want to fall asleep. I wanted to listen to his beautiful words and what he was thinking or feeling.. but it already felt like a dream.

“Would you please moan for me?” he asked and I opened my eyes.. my heart started racing again.. I wanted to.. I wanted to do that for him.. but I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t risk being heard by anybody. Although I thought they were sleeping, I wasn’t sure about it. Dad was probably already awake.

“I can’t.. not now..” I whispered blushing again.. “Good.. then later..” he said and I had to laugh again.

I got myself together and tried to not fall asleep. We talked about random stuff and I got to know a little bit more about him.. for example that he didn’t know his mom. Late night conversations with him seemed very advantageous.. calming and comforting...

Moon

Skylar and I had more fun that we probably should’ve had.. It was crazy how close we got in a couple of hours. She was so funny and cute.. she was a girl I could fall in love with but since that never happened it was impossible. But maybe she would be the one...

I really thought she was innocent and shy.. but she only needed a little push. She was naughty, funny and totally open and comfortable around me. I loved that. I loved seeing how comfortable she was around me and that she was exactly that kind of girl that I liked. She was not a hoe or annoying. She was exactly my type. It was so ironic to notice that just after we slept together.

It was 5am but we still got out to get some food. It took us a while until we found a place that was open but it wasn’t that hard. It was actually pretty funny.. For the first time I felt like I was in a different world. As if she made me forget everything else when I was with her.. I was someone else when I was with her. Usually I was the playboy who was making the girls crazy and horny but with her.. I was so easy and normal... so simple. Everything was unfolding naturally. That amazed me..

“Moon you know I could've cooked something for us!” she said while we were driving around. She took a sip of her coke while I took a bite of my burger and looked at her with furrowed eyebrows. “You really wanted to burn the kitchen at 5am?” I asked and she furrowed her eyebrows.. “No! I'm a great cook!” she said and I laughed. She slapped my arm.

“One day I'll make you dinner and you'll love it!” I loved how confident she was.. I bit my lower lip.. “With dessert!” she added and it seemed like she already planned everything in her head. “With dessert? What kind of..?” I asked and noticed that she was serious when she answered “I don't know yet.. maybe something with chocolate or caramel if you like..”.

I smirked. “If it’s being served on your lower stomach, I’ll love it..“ I said and saw how she blushed. I loved catching her off guard although she was so confident about it.. it showed that she was experienced. I liked that. I grabbed her face and kissed her...

Sun

After I woke up a few hours later I realized that my phone already died hours ago. I fell asleep on the phone. I wasn't sure what time it was but I felt like I've slept for too long but I felt too comfortable and soft to stand up yet although I felt bad for just falling asleep while he was talking. I needed to make it up to him.

First I was going to take a warm shower and relax a little bit.. I’ve never been so happy before.. everything seemed so simple and perfect. Everything was going to be alright..

I took a shower that made me feel even more soft and dried my hair after picking some comfortable clothes. I was also listening to some music that put me into an even better mood. Dean told me he wouldn't go to school either so we could talk n the phone or FaceTime all day if I couldn't get out. I loved talking to him so much that I was already inpatient.

Just when I wanted to exit my room, dad knocked onto the door and came in... That was such an awkward moment that I didn’t know what to do. I was a little overwhelmed. It seemed like it was the same with him... We couldn't even look at each other for a moment.

“Does my.. little princess have time to talk?” he asked smiling softly. I squeezed my hair behind my ear. I couldn’t be stubborn. I nodded.

Dean

I woke up a little later than I planned.. I stayed awake and listened to Sun’s breathing until I fell asleep.. unfortunately I got only one hour of sleep so I was really really tired but it was okay. I felt comfortable and better than before because I talked to her.. as if she was some kind of medicine... She was amazing.. I got to realize that she was funnier and sweeter than I thought.. for the first time I actually enjoyed having long and deep conversation with somebody. I truly couldn't believe how and why my dad hated Elijah. He raised such a good girl... how bad could he be?

With every minute that passed I realized that I felt more and more for her.. my heart was racing faster and faster with the thought of her. She made me proud and I didn’t even know why. Even her experience was enough. I hated that feeling and it made me go crazy but I couldn’t change it.

Even if dad was never going to allow me to love her.. I still couldn’t change it. It was not in my hands.. that’s why I wanted her to stay away from him as much as possible. I didn’t know why was going on with me and what I was going to do.. I had no plan and I was anxious about it but she wasn’t going to get near him before I would figure it out.

In my eyes all his plans didn’t make sense anyway. He was really the dumbest and most senseless person on this planet. I couldn’t forget everything and love him because he cared only once. Either he was dumb or he just didn't wanted to accept that this all wasn’t going to work anyway. He was an obsessed freak who was passionate about something ridiculous. Unfortunately he was ready to do anything, anytime, without hesitation.. he was in charge of this game

But I was going to take control..

I was going to tell him all the things he never wanted to hear. I was going to say it straight into his face. I wasn’t going to let him win. He wasn’t even aware that this was a war for me. He wasn’t expecting me to fight against him.. I was going to catch him off guard right after acting like I was doing whatever he wanted. I needed him to trust me.. and then I needed to take him down. I was old enough to believe in the truth that he was hiding all the time, no matter what a negative person I was.

I was too young and too dumb to realize before... I knew he thought I forgot it.. but it came in my head like a lightning.. he was afraid that I would remember and understand it...

My heart started beating extremely fast when I thought about it... he only cared about me because he knew it as well.. because he knew that if I would remember it, it wouldn't work.

If I would leave, everything he planned would be useless. If I wouldn't be there, he couldn't make it. Not even Blake could do that. Blake was his toy. But he needed me.. and I was going to hurt him so goddamn bad...