Can't Hate You

Charm

Dean

She was laying on my chest with her head, drawing random non existent lines on my abs with her beautiful fingers.. I could feel her smile. I played with her long, blonde hair that was still as wet as mine.

She gave this all a completely different feeling. She made me feel different.. Suddenly it wasn’t only about lust and pleasure anymore.. it was about passion, love, care and feelings.. it wasn’t meaningless or just for fun.. it was so much more than that. It was everything. She was everything. Feeling her hair in my hand and her skin on mine was making me really calm.

I f****d many girls.. none of them made my body burn like this. I didn’t see the universe in their eyes.. in none of them. I never cared about them. I never met them more than once.. and I never felt like this..

I didn’t even do this with her because of my own needs or for dad .. I really wanted it and I loved it.

It was disturbing.. bothering me.. maybe I was afraid of falling in love. I couldn’t believe that it could happen that fast. Especially not to me. I’ve never been in love. I didn’t even know what it felt like or what it meant. I couldn’t be in love. Even the word was so irrelevant and overrated. People were always saying it to each other without even meaning it. It was temporary and only for weak people. Like my dad. I got angry when I thought of him and it wasn’t the right time to get angry so I decided to concentrate on the girl that was laying on my chest. I didn’t want to destroy this peaceful moment..

She wrapped her arms around me and chuckled. Even if she was so cute that I almost melted, I needed to resist... no feelings were allowed. The only problem was that I couldn't stop it...

In the first second I wanted to die, break her heart and hurt everyone around me.. in the second she smiled and in the third I felt comfortable because she was around me and somehow she made me smile too..

To be honest I wasn't sure if dad was going to be pissed because we had s*x but I didn’t really care about it because he wasn’t going to find out about it. I sighed because I wasted my thoughts on him again. She looked up at me. Her eyes were sparkling just like she was filled with glitter and that glitter was about to pop out of her eyes. I smiled to comfort her and let her know that everything was alright. Just when she wanted to say something, her phone started to ring.

Sun

I bent over him to get my phone and he grabbed my butt. That made me laugh.

When I saw that it was mom, I got a little heart attack. I totally forgot about her.. I texted her on the way here so she wouldn’t have to worry but then I forgot about her.. completely. If she would’ve known what I’ve just done.. she would’ve locked me into a room three hundred feet deep in Alaska. She probably would’ve been upset or regretted that she let me see him. But she was never going to find out about this all.

I answered her call.

“Yes mom?” I asked and he smirked.. he made my head spin.

“Your das is coming back in a hour so you better come back now.” she said and I sighed because I didn't wanted to leave him but I was also thankful because she gave me so much time with him. I was going to kiss her for this later because without her none of this would’ve happened and it was the most beautiful night of my entire life and it was always going to be..

I smiled. “Okay. See you at home.” I said and hung up. I put my phone away and looked at him.. Then I opened my arms and screamed of happiness. I threw myself on him and he laughed. “If I would've known that this would make you so happy I would’ve done it earlier.” he said wrapping his arms around me and I blushed because he wanted to make me happy. He was so cute without even trying or wanting it.

I felt so safe in his arms. As if I finally found the place I was belonging to all the time. He was right. I was his.. forever. No matter what was going to happen, a part of mine was always going to be his.. and it was good like that because I was sure that no one could ever make me feel the way he did.

I backed off and he sat up on the end of his bed. I couldn't take my eyes off his wide back and the muscles that were moving.. I crawled over to him and hugged him from behind. Our bare bodies touched and I got goosebumps again. I needed his warmth. I needed to be close to him.

“Yo, you’re always gonna be clingy from now on, or what?” he asked and I wanted to slap him. I knew that he wasn’t serious but he was still an asshole. “Yes. Now I'm really addicted to you.. that means you're stuck with me..” I whispered and I could feel. “Good..” he said with a husky voice.. I knew that he liked that..

He turned around and pulled me on top of him. I was still a little embarrassed to be naked while he was around but I wasn’t as nervous as before. I was still shy but he knew how to handle that. We started making out a little until he interrupted it. “I'll bring you home now before your mom wants to kill me as well.” He said and I sighed again. I didn’t want to think of that.

He stood up and I couldn’t take my eyes off him again while he got dressed.. “That’s not true. She already wants to kill you too.” I said and he laughed. I loved his laugh. He didn’t seem so angry when he laughed so I enjoyed the few seconds. “You crackhead..” he said and grabbed his shirt.

I covered my body with his blanket and stood up. When I turned around my eyes widened and I screamed. “DEAN!”. He turned around to me immediately and looked at me also eyes widened. “What?” he was way more calm then me.. I could feel the heat in my cheeks again..

“My blood.. is on your sheets..” I said quietly.. a little embarrassed. He raised a brow and looked at the red stains. For a second I thought he was going to be really angry about it.. I didn’t know why but I just thought that he was that kind of person who was disgusted by things like these or getting angry about it..

“Babe, calm down, I’ll handle that.” he said like he was angry because I worried about it. He approached me and cupped my face. He looked down at me and said “Don’t worry about it. It’s totally natural, I don’t blame you. Nobody will see it. These are only sheets, nothing important.”. It was like he could read my thoughts.. I loved how he comforted me.. I looked at him and started breathing again not realizing how I held my breath the entire time.

I put my clothes back on as well and we dried our hairs. He helped me to get into my top although he didn’t need to but I loved that.. the way he was looking at me.. how he was touching me. And I realized that it was still hurting..

I put my jacket on and grabbed my phone. We walked towards his car when he smirked at me and said “You’re smelling like sex.”. My jaw dropped. “Oh my god, stop.” I said, hoping that he was just joking because I really didn’t want it to be obvious. I didn’t want mom to get it as soon as I would see her.

“Is it just me or are you walking a little weirdly? Still in pain like I said?” he asked. He was messing with me. He was enjoying it. I hated him for that in that moment. “Yes, now shut up!” I said but I couldn’t help but laugh. It really hurt but he didn’t need to know the details.

We talked during the whole ride.. for the first time there was no silence.. only our words and our laughs..

Dean

When I picked her up earlier this day.. I had completely different intentions than I had when I drove her back home. She was still like a baby in my eyes. That was what made her different. I loved how pure she was. How cute and naive she was.. how she was looking at me. As if I was all she needed. I loved that she wasn’t mature like the other girls. That I could control and dominate her.

She deserved so much better. I felt bad because I knew I was going to hurt her at the end no matter if I wanted it or not.. I was confused about everything. Should I do whatever my dad wanted? Should I live my own life? Should I be with her because I wanted it? Should I just kill myself?

I couldn't even do what I felt like doing. All the things I told her before we drove home were all the things I couldn’t do.. but wanted to do. I couldn't even love someone without all these thoughts, plans, and bastards in my life... and myself. If I wouldn't have been be there, everything would’ve be so much better and easier for everyone. All the problems would disappear with me...

I couldn't say what I was thinking, I couldn’t scream, talk, resist or choose to tell people what I wanted to tell them and what not. So I had to write these things..

Sun

Mom was already standing on the door when we arrived. That was so cringe and weird that I wished she just would’ve stayed inside. She was acting like I was a baby and couldn’t walk the few meters on my own.. I tried to not mind it.

“Hey... your mom is cute. Just like you.” he said when he turned the engine off. I rolled my eyes. “I know..” she waved at us. We both got off the car and she smiled. It wasn’t an uncomfortably forced smile.. I knew she wanted to meet him..

I got panic.. “Dean.. look.. she probably wants to meet you now.. please don't mind it if she says something that makes us both cringe and don’t say anything that could make her hate you even more, okay?” I asked totally worried hoping she wouldn’t hear us. He just laughed and nodded.

We walked towards her. My heart was beating way too fast. I definitely needed to see a doctor or someone else who had to help me with this. I looked up at him and he looked down at me. He smiled and winked to comfort me.. then he grabbed my hand and interlocked it with mine. I started to panic even more because I was afraid that it would trigger her but she seemed calm and I blushed. She was smiling but I was freaky afraid of what was hiding behind that smile.

“So.. you are Dean..” she said shaking his hand after letting mine go gently.. I felt like I couldn't breathe.. I felt like the world was going to collapse in a couple of seconds. “Yes ma’am.. I'm glad to finally meet you.” he said smiling and bowing slightly.. I was surprised how he was handling it. He seemed so confident and comfortable. Meeting my mom didn’t bother him. For a second I thought he wouldn’t even want that.. but he seemed like he wanted it more than her.. it amazed me..

Melissa

The way she was looking at him.. and the way he noticed that and looked back at her.. like I wasn’t even there and all they could see was them. My heart almost melted but also hurt. How could I not let her meet him when she was filled with so much love for him? It was obvious and being against it felt like being against human rights.

He was more handsome than I imagined. Way more handsome. And mature.

I didn’t want to judge him because of the things I heard about him... or because Moon and Elijah didn’t like him. It seemed like he was treating her well and really liking her and that was all that mattered to me. The rest was irrelevant. Of course I wasn’t going to trust him yet but as long as he was going to bring her home so quickly right after I called her and as long as he was going to take care of her, I was going to try to give them a chance.. she had to make her experiences too.

Elijah and I were in a more difficult situation when we met.. and I left my mom for him. I didn't want her to do the same. She shouldn't feel the need to run away from us to be with him or like she needed to hide her feelings... I supported her..

Especially the way he held her hand.. so tightly as if he never wanted to let her go again..

“The pleasure is mine.” I said smiling back and they looked at me again. Sun smiled as well and didn’t seem so strained anymore. I knew she felt uncomfortable because it was a very weird situation but he comforted her with a simple look into her eyes.

“Thank you for bringing Sun back home safely..” I put my hand on his fully tattooed arm to make him feel more comfortable but I liked how sympathetic he already was with me. He wasn’t afraid, struggling or shy. I liked that because it was important. He knew exactly what to do. He was really polite. He didn’t embarrass her or acted disrespectful in any way. He was okay. I never thought I would see a tall, muscular, handsome boy with tattoos arms in Sun’s side but it wasn’t bothering me..

“Anytime Mrs Dalton.” he said and I had to laugh. “You can call me Melissa.. and now that I have the chance, I would like to invite you to dinner one day. So we can get to know each other a little more.”. It was a spontaneous thought that crossed my mind but I knew that it was going to be alright as long as he was going to act the same way. He seemed surprised and I could see that he wasn’t sure if this was a good idea or not. Of course he knew was worrying about Moon and Elijah but I was going to handle that.

He looked at Sun like he was asking for her opinion and that gave me positive vibes. He wasn’t handling on his own. He was asking for her opinion and her thoughts too.. as if her words would rule the situation.. That meant they were already making their decisions together.. my heart broke because she was growing up too fast...

“That would be a great idea!” Sun said with a huge smile and sparkling eyes. “Sounds good. Just tell me when. I'll be here.” he said still a little worried but he tried to show it off. I could understand that he was worrying and getting nervous but that only showed how much she mattered to him. Sun hugged him and she looked so happy that I felt like slapping the others for trying to make her stay away from him and punishing her for spending time with him. I was ready to give my life only to make her happy like this all the time. She should never stop smiling.

They said goodbye to each other and I acted like i was minding my own business but of course I kept an eye out on them. I didn’t want to be controlling or embarrassing but I wanted to see what the actual matter between them was.. It was like a movie.. she tiptoed and they leaned their foreheads against each other's... “Call me later if you need something.. or just want to talk. Let me hear your voice..” he whispered.

She smiled and nodded. “I'll miss you.. I don’t know when I’ll see you again before the dinner..” she whispered back a little shyly. She tried to be extra quiet but I still heard it and it made me feel really awful.. she shouldn’t have to be afraid of not seeing him again. She shouldn’t feel the pain of being apart from him. I could understand her because I knew what love felt like..

He put his hand on her cheek. “Don’t worry about it.. we’ll figure it out. No pressure.” he kissed her forehead and she closed her eyes. Then he whispered something into her eyes that made her blush. I wanted to know what he said but of course I wasn’t going to ask her about it.

When he wanted to leave, I acted like I was back in the game. “Have a good night Mrs Dalton.” he said looking at me. I raised my eyebrows warning him. “.. Melissa..” he corrected himself and I smiled again totally pleased. He smiled politely and took a few steps backwards, not taking his eyes off her.. until he turned around and got in his car..

Sun

I loved him.. every inch of him... How could someone be that perfect? He was so charming in front of her. He knew exactly what to do. He was so confident and polite that I was going to thank him for that later. First I was really scared but he didn’t give me a reason to worry about anything. He was so cute and nice to me and he wasn’t acting for her.. I felt that..

Earlier he whispered “Dream about me..” so mom wouldn’t hear it.. I tried to not blush but it was impossible. I was definitely going to dream about him..

We watched him leaving.. I was sad because he wasn’t with me anymore and we couldn’t spend more time together but at the same time I felt relieved although the situation didn’t get awkward.

I already missed him..

I wasn't sure what mom was going to say but I was nervous. We walked in and after she closed the door she walked towards me.. I bit my lower lip a little stressed.. either she was going to kill my mood with one word or she was going to save my life..

She crossed her arms in front of her chest and I thought a storm was coming. But then she said “He better not leave you and you better keep him..”. My jaw dropped and I almost wanted to ask her if I got it right. I expected everything but not this... I was confused and overwhelmed with this whole day and now this...

“Friday in two weeks.” she said and confused me even more.. I furrowed my eyebrows.. my heart was racing and I didn’t want to panic. It all seemed too simple.. “Wha..-“ she cut me off with a smile. “Dinner.. with Dean..” she sounded like I had Alzheimer and she was trying to make me remember. Then she winked at me and walked towards the living room.. my jaw dropped and I gasped for air.. I screamed and almost cried because I was so happy that I couldn’t believe it.. everything seemed so unreal.. I was afraid that it was a joke or a trick or something.. I hoped not because that was all I wanted. I jumped up and ran after her like a little child. I loved her so much..

Melissa

She was so happy that I could already feel how warm it hot although it was already 12am. I was afraid that she would break the natural laws and make the sun come out. She kept running around in the house telling me how much she loved me and how happy she was. I’ve seen her like this for the first time. She was so energetic and positive like she’s never been before. I just sat down and watched her, laughing..

She even started singing and if Dean was really making her that happy then it really meant something.. it was serious. Not something childish.

After a while she got tired and exhausted and fell asleep with her head in my lap.. I stroke her head and she was even smiling in her sleep.

Elijah walked in. “Sshhh!” I warned him before he said a word. He seemed confused while he took off his jacket. I looked at her and smiled just like she was smiling. He sat down next to us and looked at her and his smile made my heart really melt.. he bent down and kissed her forehead. Then he looked at me still smiling.

“Why is she so happy and excited..?” he was just as happy as me about it but I totally forgot that he could feel every emotion of Sun with only touching her..

Dean

I went to the backyard with a bottle of Hennessy in my hand.. I watched the flames that were bright and hot..

I was burning the sheets with Sun’s blood before dad and Blake were going to come home.

Throwing them into the trash would’ve been too risky. Just like washing them.. so I decided to burn them.

He was never going to find out about it. No one was ever going to find out about it. It was my secret, only mine. He wasn’t going to take any advantage of it or give his opinion about out.. he wasn’t going to destroy this night for me..