Can't Hate You

Between us

Sun

He looked around. First at the mirror and then at me. I wasn't sure what to do.. I couldn't tell what he was thinking or feeling. He was probably mad at me too and I really didn't want him to yell at me too because I already had enough of that..

Moon

I could see the mess she made.. she was sitting on the ground with her back leaned against her bed. She pulled her knees to herself. I sighed and closed to door after I walked towards her.

Sun

He sat down next to me in the same position and that the awkward silence that I had was in charge again. The relationship between Moon and I was very strong and we were very close but in that moment I just wanted to be alone. Not even he could make me feel better.

He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry." he broke the silence. I swallowed. "For what?" I asked him with my raw voice and when I looked at him I saw how guilty he looked..

"For telling dad.. I should've found you by myself.." he answered. That was actually the last thing I thought of.

"It's my fault that he freaked out.. but I promise I didn't tell him about him.." he added and my jaw dropped for a second. He knew about him.. he knew about Dean. I didn't want him to talk to me about it. "Moon it has nothing to do with you. No matter what I will do, he'll always freak out." I said blinking my tears away. I wasn't going to cry for it.

"That's not true.. you know that he's just overprotective." he said and I had to sigh. I let my head fall back. "He just hates me. It's not because of what happened today.. it's been like this all the time.. did he even want me?" I asked him and clenched my jaw because I didn't want to cry. He looked at me like he was very disappointed. "Sun don't say that ever again! Of course he wanted you! He loves you with all his heart. He loves you more than mom or me." he said. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Who are you lying to? It's obvious that his life would be much easier without me." I said and he furrowed his eyebrows like he would be really mad at me.. Then he stood up and walked towards the door.

"You don't cause any problems. He's just too afraid to lose you."

He left and after he closed the door, I said "If he would only know that he is going to lose me soon if he's going to keep acting like that..«

***

The maids cleaned my room after I fell asleep and the weather was very awkward when I woke up. It was 7am but it was really cloudy and grey even tho it wasn't reining. It was the perfect day for reading a book or chilling in for of the window or fireplace.

I yawned and checked my phone but I didn't get any messages or calls. That was good because I wanted to be alone and clear my mind a little bit.. make decisions about a lot of things..

I put on some comfortable clothes. A grey oversized hoodie and a pair of blue ripped jeans, with white converse. I did my makeup and put my jacket on. I was really tired and felt really uncomfortable but I couldn't change that because things weren't going to be the same anymore. I wasn't going to be the same anymore. I was tired of being punished for doing something I liked or doing something that made me feel good. For doing something that my dad didn't like. I was a teen like all the others and I wanted to have some fun too. What I did wasn't okay and I understood his worry but the anger in his eyes made even me get cold.

I wanted to do whatever I wanted. I wanted to feel free too. I wanted to see what else this world had. I wanted to discover the normal world of teens who weren't so shy and innocent. I wasn't going to be enough for my dad anyway so it wasn't going to make a difference. I was just going to do my own thing in silence without bothering him because he would probably leave me alone like this.

I went to school without seeing my parents or Moon. I didn't want to see dad, I didn't want to feel mom's eyes on me or feel the awkward in the silence between Moon and I so I made my way to class when I arrived at school.

Chloe was already sitting in her chair like she was waiting for me and as soon as I came closer she bombed me with questions.. "Sun what happened? What was going on yesterday?" she seemed worried but also a little mad. I sat down in my chair as well and shook my head. "I don't want to talk about it." I put my head on the table and closed my eyes.

Usually I would've talked to her and told her a little bit about it.. but this time I really just wanted some space. I was confused.. angry.

I couldn't stop thinking of dad. The fact that he's been always like this. That he had one favorite kid that wasn't me. My entire life.. was just fake. The perfect girl in her perfect life.. she wasn't even existing. I've been fighting all the time to be the perfect daughter of a leader. I never wanted to disappoint him... but one small mistake was enough.. anyway. I wasn't going to think about it more because I couldn't change it and the pain it was giving me.

The class was almost empty because it was pretty early. So I lifted my head up again because I knew that I could borrow my eyebrows totally unbothered. Chloe was already busy with her phone. I wasn't sure for how long I had my forehead on the table.

Then I saw Dean walking. My heart stopped for a second. I wasn't sure why I felt this type of way.. maybe it was because of our kisses.. maybe it was because of the time we spent together.. maybe because of what happened with dad and I needed him or only because of his existence.

I stood up and when his eyes met mine I just couldn't stop myself. I couldn't control myself.. I walked towards him very fast and jumped on him.. I was shaking.. I wrapped my arms around him and for a second I thought he wasn't going to hug me back but when he wrapped his arms around me and my feet got cut off the ground because he was so tall..

There was something that just made me feel better when I was around him.. or even when I saw him. I didn't think I would feel like this. I thought that I would hate him or give him the fault but I couldn't control my feelings.. And even if I didn't know anything about him and what I was doing was crazy.. I felt like I've known him my entire life. What did make me feel like that?

Feeling his arms around him made me feel better. They made me feel safe.. there was something in his touch that I couldn't explain.. maybe because he was the first boy who got to touch me like that...

He let me slowly on the ground and my body literally grinded on his... I had to back off because I could feel that he wanted it. I felt a little embarrassed when I looked at him.. his eyebrows were furrowed. That made me a little anxious.. what if nothing was the same as yesterday? What if he was mad or didn't like things like these in public? Or if I got everything wrong?

"I'm sorry.. I just..." my voice was shaking a little bit. I scratched my forehead and could feel Chloe's eyes on us. "That was.. stupid.." I added and pressured my lips totally embarrassed. I wanted to disappear and hide in a corner.

He just looked mean and walked past me without saying a word.. my stomach dropped and I felt a huge sadness taking over.. I couldn't even look anywhere but I saw that he put his backpack on his chair. Suddenly I felt so alone and depressed. Especially when I looked at Chloe who was looking at me with pressured lips like she wanted to tell me to sit down next to me and to stay away from him instead of still standing there.

I knew that it would've been better and probably the right thing but then I saw how Dean came back to me. I looked up into his eyes, eyes wide open with hope.. Suddenly he interlocked his hand with mine and pulled me outside again like he did before.. I couldn't take another look at Chloe or ask him where we were going.. I didn't want to know it.. I just wanted to leave..

We walked out to our schools backyard and sat down on one of the benches.. we just sat there in silence for a while under the grey sky that threw shadows everywhere..

"Are you okay?" he broke the silence and I looked up at him. I nodded and he tilted his head. .

"You're lying. Tell me what happened." he said. His voice was so dark.. deep and raw.. as if he was caring. I looked at the ground again but he made me look at him. He lifted my chin with his fingers and looked into my eyes. His face was inches away from mine. Our hands were still interlocked and his grip tightened and it felt so good that I couldn't explain it...

"I really don't want to talk about it." I said quietly, shaking my head and I felt how hurt I actually was.. I just didn't want to talk about my daddy issues.. he came closer. He was so close I thought he would kiss me. This time I wasn't stop him.

"Baby, you can tell me everything. I want to know what bothers you and what happened." he said and I tried to smile. "I believe you. But I don't feel like talking.." I said still very quietly as if I was scared that somebody would hear me..

He leaned his forehead against mine.

"Maybe this will make you talk.." this time his voice was quiet too.. he looked at my lips and kissed me and I let him do it.. I still felt guilty and I was scared that somebody was going to see us but it felt good.. it felt like someone finally wanted me..

Then he looked at me and his smirk.. he made me weak.

"From now on you're completely mine." he said and I laughed quietly. "I still don't know anything about you.. I've known you for three days.. what we're doing.. is so unusual for me.." I said, still a little shy and he rolled his eyes. "Could you please stop counting the f*****g days? Just let me show you who I am and make you fall in love with me." he said a little annoyed but really serious.

"Why? Like why and how are things between us going so fast?" I asked and he shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe because you're already addicted to me?" he said totally sure of himself and confident.. "No, I'm not?" I asked a little shocked, embarrassed and joking. We both knew that I was already weak.

He let my hand go and laughed very loud. Then he stood up and looked at me with raised eyebrows. "Yeah that's why you hugged me so tightly earlier! You just can't get enough of me! You need me.." he said and all I could do was look at him. He made me feel small next to him. Like he was already controlling me.. it was like he had two faces.. I wasn't sure what to say.

I stood up as well when he wanted to walk about. I grabbed his muscular arm and he turned around.. what I was going to do was beyond stupid and I was going to regret it but I couldn't help it.. "Maybe.. I'm really addicted." I said and he smirked. When he turned completely around I noticed something that I didn't notice before.

The wound on his temple. was new...

That made me gasp for air.

"What happened?" I asked him very worried because it was a pretty big one and I asked myself how I didn't notice it before.. the atmosphere changed immediately.

Dean

After I went yesterday I saw that my dad was pissed at something.. I wanted to make my way to my room without walking past him but he caught me and since I was his biggest enemy, he threw the glass he broke with his bare hand before, straight into my face but I turned around so he got my temple.. That's where the wound was coming from but I didn't want to explain that to her. I didn't want to explain that to anybody..

Sun

"Dean, tell me!" I said. I was insisting in getting to know it. He needed to tell me.. I wanted to know if he got in a fight or if it was an accident or anything else. I wasn't sure why but for a second I thought of Moon.

He took a deep breath.

"Nothing to worry about." he said.

Moon

I was just confused. I just couldn't feel good or well when Sun was sad. I hated this situation and I knew that we were going to go trough a hard time. I could feel it. My sister was all I could think of all day.

As I walked into class I saw that it was almost empty like every damn soul in this school left and the universe was messing with me.. no one was there except that girl who spilled her coffee over me. I sighed and thought about going back home again because I really had no nerves for this day.

I walked in and she couldn't stop looking at me. I almost wanted to ask her what the hell she wanted from me but I decided to not mind her. So I sat down in my chair and started playing with my phone until my friends would come.

Then I saw that she was walking towards me. I didn't know why but she was really annoying me..

"What do you want?" I asked her when she was standing in front of me..