Can't Hate You

The truth

Elijah

She already took her mask off so I did that too.. even tho it was dark and she was a little far away I could see how red her eyes were.. she was crying.. she was standing on the rooftop on the building that was next to the one that I was standing on.

I couldn't understand why she was standing where she was standing but I knew exactly what she's done.. that made my stomach drop..

Melissa

He was standing in front of me but too far.. we were on two different rooftops... and I felt awful..

"Melissa I thought I lost you.« he was so exhausted and out of breath. I could see that he seemed a disappointed. »No Elijah.. you didn't, please don't say that...«

I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks in the cold..

"I'm coming just wait where you are okay?! Don't move!" he turned around and rushed to the ladder but I stopped him.

"NO! There are too many police officers down there..."

I was breathing very fast and panicking. "Elijah it's my fault.." I was crying so hard trying to stay quiet.

He looked around. "We're gonna talk about this later." he said and I could feel that he was angry.. it made me feel even more awful but of course he knew what I've done. I didn't stick to the plan, I was going to snitch on them so hard.

He walked to the edge and climbed on it which made my eyes go huge and my heart stop. "What..what are you doing.." I asked almost stuttering. I was afraid that he was going to do something stupid.

He looked down and I did too.

There was a distance of at least three meters between us and a depth of more than 27 feet.

"ELIJAH NO! YOU WON'T JUMP!" I whispered kinda screaming and panicking like crazy. Was he trying to give me a heart attack? Even if it was impossible too jump.. it was too dangerous. He only needed to slip and he would be gone. I couldn't risk that.. I couldn't risk losing him like that.

"It's not the first time I'm going doing this." he said and he seemed really serious and pissed. I knee even in this situation he was going to show me how mad and disappointed he was.

My heart was beating so fast I just shook my hand. "I can't let you do that!" if this wouldn't work then he would die because of me and I would never forgive myself. I could've chosen the easy way for him but because of me he was going to risk his life.. I hated myself so much in that moment.. I didn't want to turn into a girl who was going to destroy other peoples lives only because she wasn't pleased with hers.. I didn't want to turn into my mom.

He turned around because the voices came closer and got louder.

Suddenly he jumped and I held my breath. Everything stopped in that moment and I felt like I was the one who was jumping... I saw everything in slow motion... that was the moment in which I began to pray for him to land safe on my side and I swear I never prayed that fast in my life..

He landed on me and we fell. He literally fell on me, -luckily- that means he was on top of me. It hurt but I didn't mind because landing on me was way better than lading down there on the ground. I wanted to scream but we heard the police in the other side so I kept it inside and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

He covered my mouth with his hand making sure I wouldn't make a noise. "HELLO?" we heard someone screaming and I closed my eyes because I was so afraid. I've never felt that much anxiety and adrenaline in my entire life. It was impossible for them to see us because of the wall but one noise was enough to destroy everything.

"I can't see anyone.." another voice said and then we heard their footsteps which were getting quieter. Suddenly the alarm went off and I let the breath out which I held in all the time. It was so silent for a moment since all the police alarms also went off.. I can't explain what I felt in that moment. It felt like everything was over, like weights fell off my shoulders.. but I knew it wasn't over yet. We still needed to get away there.

He rolled himself off me ad let his head fall back onto the cold ground. He took a deep breath and started to laugh quietly. I couldn't help but join him. After this all there was nothing else we could do in that moment.

"Is it over?" I asked looking at him while he was looking at the sky..

"Yes... it is.." he said and looked at me. He got serious again and I could feel how cold it got. I could feel my body shiver. he stood up and helped me to get up as well. We were just standing in front of each other looking at each other..

His jaw was clenched like always.. he seemed angry and really disappointed. I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand. I felt awful. My heart was aching and I was ready to do anything to make him forgive me..

I just hugged him without thinking about it. I was hoping he wouldn't push me away like I did a week ago. I just wanted to hug him. I was still so angry and I still hated him but I wanted to hug him and not lose him. We both had the rights to be mad at each other..

For a second I thought he wasn't going to hug me back until I could feel his big arms around me pulling me closer to himself and holding me tightly. After a few seconds of staying like this he backed off and we looked at each other again.

"Let's go back home before something else happens." not even looking into my eyes. I didn't want to think about the pain in my chest because it was my own fault so we rushed down to his car and I was still shaking. What was that? That was heavy. The craziest thing I've done in my life...

He called Josh and then I remembered what they said..

Elijah

As I hung up I saw her crying. She was looking down at her lap and I could see the pain in her face.. She squeezed her hair behind her ear and I noticed that she was always lifting her pinky finger when she was doing that...

She knew that I was looking at her so she looked out of the window. Somehow I hated seeing her cry and I couldn't explain myself why.. I couldn't understand why I was feeling this weird feeling in my chest and why I was so angry and upset at what she's done even tho I shouldn't even care about her betrayal..

"Do you regret it? Doing this to your mom?" I broke the silence. She shook her head. I couldn't see her face completely but it was already completely wet from her tears.

"I knew that you were using me.." she said till not looking at me because I guess it would've been too painful. First I was confused but then it hit me like a truck and that pain that I felt in my chest was really something else. "But it's okay... you've already hurt me enough, it's nothing new.." she said and looked at the road ahead of us again. Now I could see how red her eyes were and how messed up she looked.

Maybe this all was a little too much for her.. this mission, this life, these feelings.. me..

She kept sobbing quietly and I flew like s**t although I tried my best to use my shield against feelings.

"Thank you for not loving me... I would get used to it.. and be heartbroken again."

She was still not looking at me.. and I could understand her.. she never felt loved.. she alway got left from somebody she loved. She only wanted to be loved..

"That's not true Melissa.."

She swallowed. "This is totally pff topic but I just want you to know that.. I don't have any feelings for Matt. Nothing. there's nothing left inside of me." she said and I knew she didn't say that only because of Matt. I felt how fed up she was with everything.

My grip around the wheel got tighter. "f**k Matt. I'm.. I didn't wanted to push you into the water..I just.. went crazy with the thought of you still liking him."

She wiped her tears away. "It's okay.." she said totally cold not even really listening to me like she just wanted to end this as fast as she could and that huts.. so I couldn't say anything after that. We drove back home in silence.

As we arrived she got off the car before me and walked in without waiting for me. The boys already arrived and as I walked in Miranda greeted me and told me that they were in my office. Melissa was already walking upstairs into my office.

Melissa

I took a deep breath and walked in. Everyone looked at me eyes wide open. Especially Josh. I couldn't hate him. He was Elijah's left hand. There was nothing I could feel towards him.

"Melissa!?... are you okay? I thought you-"

"No." I cut him off quickly not even looking at him. I looked at all the bags filled with money on the ground and sat down on his table like when I came in here for the first time. I didn't look at any of them knowing they were looking at me. The other half of the team was bringing the money with the trucks to a safe place like we planned it..

Elijah walked in and the boys stood up.

"Dude! What happened?"

He looked at me. "I'll tell you later buddy." he answered not taking his eyes off me and walking towards me through the others but I looked away.

»Alright, so.. let's finish this real quick.« Josh said. I scratched my head and I just wanted to sleep. I was so exhausted, depressed and empty that I just wanted to disappear in that moment.

They began to share the bags knowing they were just the small pieces and I watched them doing that. So much money in a room...

"How much do you want Melissa?" Josh asked me out of nowhere and I raised a brow totally confused..

"You can have as much as you want since you organized everything and it was only possible because of you." he said and I clenched my jaw. I could've said that I wanted some thing.. but I didn't.

"I don't want anything. I got my revenge. That's enough." I answered, stood up and walked out.

Elijah

"Bro? What happened?" Josh asked me again and I sighed rubbing my forehead totally stressed.. "Did I do something wrong?" he asked. Everyone was looking at me.

Actually I was hella mad at her. I should be hella mad at her because I had the right to. I knew what she's done. She was going to destroy all of us so easily. She was probably planning it all secretly. I should be f*****g mad at her and tell her to get the f**k away from her or lock her into a room or yell at her for being a disgusting fraud but I just couldn't because I understood why she didi it.

Usually I wasn't good at understanding people but this time it was just too personal and I needed to. I didn't even want to tell the boys that all the complications were caused by her because she wanted to snitch on us because I knew they would hate her and think wrong of her.

"She heard what we said.." I answered and his jaw dropped while his eyes went huge. He was just as shocked as me when I realized it.

"But what we said wasn't that bad I mean.. I don't know..." he said overwhelmed and confused.

"I did so much s**t to her like seriously I've treated her like s**t and she's still here. She's so patient and deserves much better." I sat down and he looked at me eyes wide open again just like the others.. "It's my problem. I just don't know how to be kind even if I'd like to...« I scratched my neck biting my thumb in madness at myself.

"Feelings.. you're even talking differently.." James said looking at me eyes widened just like the others. I froze immediately and furrowed my eyebrows. "Wait, no, no, no.. you can't- what?" Jason asked hella confused. "Since when do you care about how somebody else feels?" James asked and I bit my thumb again. "Since I want something from them.." I answered and Jason said "Okay wow, that's f*****g new."

Then he raised a brow. "So do you love her?"

"I don't even know that! I'm afraid of hurting her but at the same time I can't be anything else than mean to her. I'm afraid of loving her but holding her between my arms feels like I've won every war on this planet but I'm not.. I mean.. I don't know...« I said and I could feel my heart racing. "I mean look at this s**t. We've successfully robbed one of the biggest banks and I can't even be happy because she out there feeling like she because of me." I added totally angry and a little louder than planned.

"So you're only worrying about her feeling bad because of you? Only because you want to have a pure conscience?" Josh asked and I shook my head immediately like I would be panicking. "No, I really don't like it when she's down. I'd love to be nice to her but I can't because-.. that's not me-.. I can't show her the real me. I'm not a nice guy and I don't know how to handle all this love stuff.." I said overwhelmed and annoyed leaning back and running my hands over my face.

Everybody got silent

"Saying 'I love you' is enough sometimes." I looked at James.

I stood up and rushed outside. I knew that she was sitting at the backyard. She really liked that spot... and maybe I wasn't going to say these three words but I was going to say something else..

She was just sitting there just like I expected it. I slowly walked towards her and asked "Can I sit down next to you?". I mean I had to start somewhere with being polite and kind..

She nodded not looking at me. After I sat down close to her, she looked at me and I looked at her too...