I love you more than i hate you.

**New home,new school,new me ** I thought to myself as we drove into Silicon Valley. Everytime we moved ,we became a whole new, different person . Right now I just want to be me ,live life to the fullest and since my mom ,a single nurse always got transferred, she'll say **Try to adapt to your surroundings, wherever and whenever.** **Good morning my pumpkin,hope you slept well?** , my mom asks as she pecks my forehead . **Ma,would you please stop with the "pumpkin thing", I'm over sixteen now ,can't you see I'm becoming an adult?!** I complain bitterly.She smiles and points to my face; **This is why I still treat you like my baby !** She laughs out while I munch down my bread and jam , **Honey I'm sorry to break it to you but I'm doing a nightie ,I'll be back by the first beep on your alarm.** She gathers her stuff and heads upstairs ,I sigh helplessly, we're back to square one.I head out to school on my bicycle .**You don't want to be late on your first day , Esme** I head to the administrator's office with more or less ; a smile on my face. **I'll assume that you are Esmeralda Reese , our new transfer student,welcome to Silicon Valley High School ,here's your slip for the week ,do well to ensure that it gets signed at the end of the class by the homeroom teacher ,this is the prospectus,a guide has been recently included so you don't get confused.Now run along child you don't want to be late on your first day,not on my watch!!** As I stand in front of the door ,I hear muffled laughters,girls giggling.Are they laughing at me already? I try my best to breathe as normally as possible , **You got this ,Esme!!** I pushed the door open and received nothing but dead silence and unusual stares .I tried to keep my balance but it was really hard dealing with these faces . **Heyy ,watch your step ,you don't want to mess up my white jeans !** The guy said with a smirk on his face while people burst out laughing,it wasn't even close to being funny ,Geez!!. I found a vacant seat close to the exit and tried to settle in while my first class had started a few minutes ago ;English Language. ** Still on introductions ,Hey newbie, I'm Harrison ,just Harrison, no title attached so kindly do the honors by introducing yourself to the class.** They all stared back at me,paying keen attention to what I had to say, **Erm ,Good Day everyone,I'm Esmeralda Reeves.** One guy gave me an is-that-all-kinda look? I nodded and cleared my throat and the guy just blabbed on and on.No teacher was coming , a blond guy probably older than I am came to my desk . **Hi Esme, I'm Lilly Forrester,nice to meet you,we've got a free class right now,if you don't mind I could give you a tour round ,what do you say?** I nod and we leave the class . **So tell me Esme,where you lived before,your previous school,had any boos? Wait you don't do ships ? ok, how many make out sessions ? ** While she blabbed on and on with questions ,I managed to say , **I've never had any boyfriend.** She stopped dead in her tracks ,turned to me and exclaimed, **what the actual f**k?!Ok don't worry,don't worry,I got you !!** she said to me as she patted my back, as we moved along the corridor.Lilly showed me the cute ones ,the mad ones you don't wanna mess with ,the bad ones who are always ready for s**t and the quiet ones, as we walked by the classes .We got to the swimming pool where sessions were being held ,and if you think I meant academically,nope ! I meant make out sessions ,yeah you heard correctly ,series of make out sessions were held in different grades at different places.She showed me hotspots to stay and never get caught by the lifeguard or teacher.While we spoke on our way back ,the guy who spoke to me while I got in the class whom I later found out was Dylan ,stopped by and was having a little chat with Lilly, **Hey ,newbie I'm inviting you for a campout today by 10 hope you ain't a crybaby !** He smirked as he left us,he's such a bully.During recess ,I sat with Lilly,she tormented me with those same questions again this time I was ready to talk, **I lived in San Francisco,went to Eagle's High School and I've got no guy.** The people on our table laughed out at the sound of what I said while she said to me **I'll get one for you tonight ,trust me!** After recess things went quickly ,while we had Biology, I decided to drift a little ,as I scanned the class one last time then I made contact with one boy ,he nudged his seatmate and they both stared at me ,I looked away cause I didn't want it to be so obvious the next time I looked they winked at me that was when I knew that I was losing it . Brrrringggg!!!! The bell rang immediately to save me from this awkward situation ,suddenly they started coming my way, I couldn't handle this situation so I ran out to catch my breath .Then I met Lilly with her troop she yelled to me, **Esme,I'll be at your door step by 9 !!** As I rode my bike home ,I hummed to myself ,my first day was ok if I do say so myself .I got home ,arranged my backpack for tonight ,prepared an easy meal .I've never been so happy being alone this once ,I'm really glad mom has a night shift ,no one to question my movements .It's really hard trying to wait for a particular time I became bored all of a sudden ,looking for things to pass time that I started reading ahead of the teacher.Series of knocks on my door ,she's here .I got my stuff and she drove us off to Dylan's night out.People had just started filling the place ,some faces I didn't see today are here ,boys arranging the tents at different places ,the others gathering woods ,girls basically being girls;the weaker s*x,chatting and assessing which guy is hotter. **Here's your tent ,would've paired with you but I'm with my guy,see ya!!** and Lilly abandons me for the other s*x ,,I chuckled to myself . **Hello do you have an extra tent ,mine is broken somewhere,I guess?** ,a redhead asks me . **Sorry I got only one. ** With his eyes perfect icy blue ,he asks again **Could I at least pair with you ,the spare ones are finished ?** I couldn't possibly refuse , **sure!!!. I chuckled ,while we tried to settle in. **I'm new too, from the next class ** right now in my head , crazy things are happening but I'm not one to express such. We all gathered round the fireplace to play games;Spin the bottle,Spot the lie and other real stuff.After a handful of popcorn and drinks,people told horror stories,some tried stand-up comedy while the rest of us just watched.It was time for Spin the bottle .He sat beside me ,I was literally beaming you could clearly see that I was elated with just this boy sitting beside me.People asked for dirty secrets,others were dared to do nasty . Lilly's turn was next , she was dared to kiss the next boy .Her face could tell that she wasn't cut out for this job like she really dissed the guy off and was like someone better please,but no one was above the rule so she had to mouth him , it didn't even last for five minutes as planned ,she stood up to go puke cause she felt disgusted.People burst into laughter at how embarrassed the guy was .It was hurting. Dylan chose to spin next and it fell on me ,everyone cooed .He loved this so much everyone could tell , cause it was an opportunity to get at me . Physically I looked prepared for him but emotionally I wasn't . **Truth or Dare,newbie??** if I chose truth it'll seem as though I'm trying to go the easy way so I picked dare. **Nice one,I dare you to have a 5-minute session with Mikie ** ,he pointed at the guy that I had eye contact with earlier today in class.Oh no!! I couldn't seem to be the weak type so ,I mustered the courage to move to him,breathing heavily cause I was nervous but I wanted no one to realize that . **Easy, tiger!!** ,his friend exclaimed.He moved closer to me then he slid his hand round my waist and pulled me to his face then I plunged in while people around timed us.Next thing his fingers started moving ,I was alarmed and tensed ,I didn't want to mess things up ,so I left him to peruse his upper body with his clothes on .I heard the whistle and I pulled out from her hold and moved back to my position ,everyone cheered ,other girls eyed me while I was dying inside.They kept on spinning till people started opting out of the game .Dylan and Lilly met me , obviously to tease me on how poor my performance was, **not bad for a first timer ,you're good ,sure it's your first time?!** They both giggled and patted me as they passed me by.I haven't seen Carlisle in a while after we left the game .People started retreating into their tents while some were just beginning their own make out sessions that will definitely lead to something else.I scanned the crowd to look for him cause I was already feeling drowsy possibly what I drank.I asked the few people I met if they've seen him but no hope .I went to disturb Lilly **hey do people get lost during campouts?** She got up and followed me , **only the stupid ones!** She asked Dylan for the list of invites with their contacts ,we checked for his name but it wasn't there . **Someone was present without being invited ,I'll deal with him.!!** He was mad ,I did not expect that. **Probably he wasn't even here ,are you sure of what you saw?!** I looked at him furiously,and he got his answer immediately. **You remember what he looked like right?**he asked me. **Average height ,pale skin,light blue pupils,red hair ,he even sat beside me during the game at the fireplace!!** Lilly heaved a sigh ,she clearly wasn't expecting this,Dylan just shrugged **Well since we didn't invite him he left the same way he came!** Then he got in to finish what he started ,it was just Lilly and i **Be calm ,he probably went.to do some private things, he'll be back if he really was here.** I left to my tent, she also thinks I'm just exaggerating. I looked round the tent ,his backpack was still here with his stuff inside still intact , maybe he went to do private stuff ,Lilly was probably right .I checked my watch ,it was clearly 12:00 on the dot .I felt this unusual urge to take a pee ,very unusual probably due to so much liquid I took tonight .I went into the woods to find the best spot to ease this feeling off me.I was fine and just surveying the area when I heard it.The noise I heard was loud and clear ,something growling angrily under the shadows ,I quickly ran back to my tent but then I realized . He's not yet back, what if that sound apprehended him and he lost his way ,how would I even find him ??I took my whistle and flashlight and a pocket knife for self defense ,you don't know what might be out there.