Chapter Nine
I was getting to the part of the day that I really, really hated, a part of the day that I really hated to get to, and that was going home. Going home was like a nightmare upon a nightmare that I already had to live through every single day. And that simply had to do with a lot of things that I really did not even know who to blame.
The man apart from my mother. And she was the biggest problem in everything that I had to be dealing with. She was the one that gave me so much stress. She was the one that got me into the stricken man in the 1st place and I was really struggling right now. I really did not want to be heading over there, but that was the only place where I had a roof to cover my head while I go to bed, so I had another choice but to do it. I hated the fact that I had failed in this.
I hated the fact that I was supposed to be leaving knowing that the minute I go and see as you know, that he would be giving me my cut off the money cut off the money was going to make a huge difference in my life. Seeing as this time that I failed to get money out of was definitely going to be paying him really, really good very generously and lowering that debt that my mother got me into.
But here I was counting my tips in a cab and I really hated. I was just trying to go through my savings wallet which was totally milked dry over and over because of having to buy food in the house. Which my mother refuses to do till this day, even though I have no idea what she keeps doing with her own money other than getting herself drunk and high and making really wrong decisions. The minute I am dropped off I begin to dread it. I hate the walk to that house.
The part of the neighborhood was really bad. It was very horrible area to live in in the city and being able to walk here by myself at night took me some time to get used to the cars that I had to master. Not to be able to do it over and over again was really something huge, and I really did not like the fact that I have to be doing it over and over again. Walking in the middle of the night, a young and afraid little girl, just 19 years of age
. And I'm able to start college because of the things that my mother keeps putting me through. As I catch the door, I try as much as I can to be silent. I'm hoping that she's asleep because the last thing I want to do is wake up Sylvia. Oh, Sylvia is quite a nightmare and I did not even want to tell her that I failed this mission. At least not yet. Not right now when it was still so fresh in the mind. Not when the torture that I was already anticipating was already sitting at the forefront of my mind and resulting. I was constantly thinking about right now
. So I was trying as much as I can to be quiet as I dug the key into the keyhole and twisted it open before twisting the lockdown and slowly opening the door as much as I could. I was trying as I was to be silent even as I took my footsteps. And just like that, it really was not working. Just like that. Everything was making so much noise. The house was so old. Everything creaked to the floor. I stepped on it. I was making noises.
The doors, I opened it. It proved to me that it needed much oiling. And there was something that I had thought about several times, because every single time that I had to come back home, I just didn't want to deal with my mother. But this time around it was even louder, kind of like she already knew that I would be getting back at this time. She was the first thing that I started the minute the door opened fully. My heart skips a beat as I stare into her eyes before I have to hold my chest and breathe carefully.
“Mom, what are you doing here? You scared me”. I said to her before turning around and closing the door, locking it like we always do.
“What do you think? I'm waiting for you so you can tell me all the good news about your new client. We are going to need some good news right now.”
She says to me and I look at her strangely before trying to walk away but she immediately blocks my way. I tried to go to the left but she go to the left as well where I am headed. I tried to go to the right but she immediately follows me in my direction every single time that I tried to avert her. Just make sure that she just continues to block me and I really start to get frustrated a little.
“ I really don't want to talk about it.
Can I just go to sleep?” I ask her and she looks at me with bewilderment in her eyes.
“What do you mean you don't want to talk about it? Did not want to talk about how quick it was. Was he a freak? Is that what you can't handle?” She asks me and I just look at her for three seconds. I cannot bear any longer before looking away from her.
“ Can I just… I want to go to sleep please?” I said to her and she shakes her head. Did you go over to Gino and get your cut? She asks and I shake my head. I did not. I say to her and she furrows her eyebrows at what I talking about.
“Are you absolutely crazy? Bill is going to be here soon than you think to come get the rent money” She says to me and I look at her with confusion.
“But I gave you my tips for the week yesterday to pay the rent, what are you talking about?” I ask her and she just laughs at me like I am saying the most ridiculous thing before she walks into the kitchenette that we have and grabs a bottle of beer and puts it into her mouth.
“ Well, you made a big mistake, my dearest darling daughter.”