Charmed, I'm Sure

Prologue Allan D’Alessandro — known in a former life as Asmodeus, left-hand man to the Devil himself — scowled at the screen of his laptop and shut it with the kind of force definitely not intended by the manufacturers at Apple. A slight crunching noise told him that he’d probably just cracked the screen, but right then, he didn’t really care. He had far more important issues to worry about. Still frowning, he got up from the couch in his living room and walked over to the sliding glass door so he could let himself out into the backyard. Usually, standing there and taking in the expansive vista his home in the Hollywood Hills offered was enough to allow him to relax, to remind him of how good these past ten months here on Earth had been, but in that particular moment, he could only see the blazing headline on the entertainment website he’d just visited. Hot Rising Star Inks a 3-Movie Deal…and Finds New Romance! The “hot rising star” in question was Nina Nomura, five feet ten of exquisite Irish/Japanese/African-American lusciousness. She’d also been the only woman in his life…up until six weeks earlier, when she’d informed him out of the blue that hey, it had been fun, but it was time to move on. “I’ll always be grateful to you, Allan,” she’d said, her hypnotic green eyes shimmering with emotion. Exactly which emotion, he still wasn’t quite sure, although he was certain she’d practiced that expression in the mirror to make sure it vibrated with the correct amount of intensity. “But we always knew this thing between us wasn’t going to last. Actually, this is probably the longest I’ve ever been in a relationship with someone.” Had that comment been intended to make him feel better? If so, she’d woefully underestimated him. Then again, it wasn’t as though Nina had really known who she was dealing with. He’d never told her the truth about his identity. Revealing that he was a fallen angel who’d spent the last several millennia helping Lucifer run Hell hadn’t been a stipulation of the agreement that had allowed him to remain topside all these months, living the life of a successful Hollywood agent, right down to the house in the Hills and the fancy cars in his garage, and he’d figured it was probably better to let the status quo remain in place for the time being. One day, he’d always promised himself whenever he began to waver and think it was time to come clean. One day, I’ll tell her the truth. Except she’d bailed on him, and now he could only be relieved that he hadn’t revealed any of his secrets to her after all. Not that she would have believed him to begin with. Like his master Lucifer, Asmodeus was very good at blending in with humankind, and he knew the façade he presented to the world was nearly flawless. A fresh breeze was blowing in from the ocean, bringing with it a faint scent of salt air. The cool touch of the wind reminded him that the summer and autumn had come and gone, and the end of the year loomed depressingly close. Two weeks. He had two weeks to truly lose his heart to someone, and to have her love him in return. Otherwise, it was back to Hell, and he could kiss this house and the Tesla roadster and the parties and all the trappings of this glamorous life he loved so much goodbye. And if the prospect of losing this lovely existence wasn’t bad enough, he’d also have to deal with Beelzebub’s gloating. The other demon was still in Hell, running things now that Lucifer had found true love and become mortal himself. Unlike his other two compatriots, Beelzebub had absolutely no desire to be anywhere except precisely where he was, acting as lord and master of the underworld. He might not be particularly thrilled to have Asmodeus back, although it was pretty much a given that he’d still take advantage of the opportunity to torment his fellow demon over his failure any chance he got. Asmodeus told himself that he didn’t begrudge Nina her current success. From the moment he spied her at that film festival at the ArcLight Cinemas in Hollywood this past February, he’d known she had a face destined for stardom. But did she have to embark on a torrid affair with her new agent without even attempting to hide their romance? Something that sounded like a growl escaped his throat, and Asmodeus shoved his hands in his pockets, telling himself to get over it, since Nina so obviously had. And really, he wasn’t even sure if he’d ever been truly in love with her, since he’d never spent so much time with a woman before and didn’t know for sure what being in love even felt like. Madly in lust, certainly…easy enough to do when you were dealing with a woman who looked like Nina Nomura. But those three special words had never escaped his lips, although they’d crossed his mind once or twice. For some reason, though, he’d hesitated, had decided to remain silent. Now he knew why. Because he’d realized that there was no way Nina would have ever offered them to him in return. “Bad day?” came a man’s voice, one that Asmodeus knew well enough. Talk about the last person he wanted to see today. He turned away from looking at the view and spied an elderly gentleman in a tweed jacket standing on the far side of the swimming pool that dominated the backyard. The man was regarding him with something that looked like sympathy in His dark eyes, and yet Asmodeus knew better than to trust even that small sign of compassion. After all, it was God’s fault that he was in this position in the first place. “No, it’s a great day,” he said, making sure he sounded casual and breezy, as though he didn’t have a care in the world. No doubt God would see right through the bravado, but Asmodeus still felt better for responding in such a manner. “I mean, look at that view.” “It is quite splendid,” God agreed. He came around the deep end of the pool and paused a few feet away from the spot where His fallen angel now stood. “So, I can suppose that what just happened to your laptop screen was simply an accident?” Asmodeus ran a hand through his hair. Since it had been precisely cut to fall in an artfully messy manner whenever he made a gesture like that, he knew it still looked just fine. “Human artifacts can sometimes be quite…fragile.” “True enough,” God said, giving a thoughtful nod. “I just thought I should come and check on you, see how you were doing.” As if that was necessary. By His very nature, God knew everything that was going on in Asmodeus’ life, just as He was able to see everything in the lives of all His creations. No, this little visit was the Creator’s way of letting His fallen angel know that the clock was ticking…and ticking a bit more loudly with each passing day. “I’m fine,” he rasped. So much for sounding suave. Asmodeus cleared his throat. “Just enjoying my Saturday.” “Hmm.” God took one more glance at the view, then glanced up at Asmodeus. “Christmas isn’t all that far off.” Subtle. “It’s still a week away. And two weeks until the end of the year.” That painfully obvious comment earned him a smile. “Yes, I know, my boy. I am able to count.” “Yes, of course,” Asmodeus said quickly, even as he told himself, Maybe it would be better if you just shut up…. However, he knew he had to ask, even if he guessed his request would be immediately shot down. “I don’t suppose you’d be interested in giving me an extension…say, another six months?” That appeal only earned him the mildest of frowns. “The bargain was until the end of the year. When I first offered it, you seemed happy enough with the conditions of our agreement.” “That was before I knew I was going to waste almost ten months with Nina,” Asmodeus snapped, then wished he’d taken the effort to moderate his tone. Getting tetchy with one’s Creator was generally not considered a good idea. God lifted an eyebrow. “You shouldn’t look on it as wasted time. You enjoyed yourself while you were with her, didn’t you?” Of course, Asmodeus had. The s*x had been varied and abundant, and Nina had such boundless energy for hedonistic pursuits that even a demon might have found himself a bit worn out by her nonstop partying. Maybe that was part of the problem; the days had passed in such a whirl of activity that he honestly hadn’t paid much attention to the weeks and months slipping right by him. When she’d brought him back to reality with a screeching halt, it was much later than he’d thought. “I did,” he responded, since to say otherwise would be a lie…and God could spot a lie before it even left someone’s lips. “Well, then.” The Creator picked a piece of lint off the sleeve of His tweed jacket and let it drift on the wind. “Perhaps you learned something about yourself in the process.” If his relationship with Nina was supposed to have taught him a lesson, Asmodeus couldn’t think of what it had been. Not to put all his eggs in one basket, he supposed; he probably should have tried to line up a few other prospects, just in case things with her went sour. Unfortunately, even though he possessed many otherworldly powers, turning back time so he could return to the past and fix the things he’d screwed up was not an option. “No, I’m afraid the deal will have to stand as is,” God went on. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out with you and Nina, although I rather doubted they would. She’s simply not your type.” Asmodeus wished it was permissible to give the Creator a good shake. However, since he knew better, he did his best to keep his tone mild as he inquired, “And what exactly is my ‘type’?” The question only elicited another smile. Despite His otherwise aged appearance, God did have very good teeth. “Well, I suppose you’ll have to discover that for yourself, won’t you?” About all Asmodeus could do was shrug. He didn’t trust himself to do anything else. “Well, then,” God said. “I’ll leave you to it. Have a good day.” And then He disappeared. Since Asmodeus could come and go in much the same way, he didn’t even blink at the way his Creator had removed himself from the backyard. Instead, he crossed his arms and stared down at the streets of Los Angeles, many hundreds of feet below the spot where he stood. Somewhere down there was the woman who could ensure his continued existence here, who would make it so he would never have to leave this place and dwell once again in the dreary confines of Hell, where the air was cold and dank and smelled of decay, where the winds carried the unceasing moans of the dying and creature comforts such as Netflix and Uber Eats were in short supply. However, after Nina had cast him aside like a used tissue, he’d realized it was time to start making some contingency plans, although he’d allowed himself far more time to brood over her desertion than was wise. The past few days, though, he’d been thinking back over the women he’d met over the past several months, trying to recall if there was anyone in particular who’d stood out for him. Actually, he’d seen a very likely prospect at Lucifer — that is, Luke Nicolini — and Christa Simms’ wedding, just a few weeks before Nina had so heinously dumped him. At the time, Asmodeus had noticed the woman in question simply because he was in the habit of noticing pretty women, even if he’d considered himself happily attached. Now, though, he found himself thinking of her again. It shouldn’t be that difficult to have his path cross hers. He wouldn’t even have to waste any time finding out exactly who she was, because Nina, as Christa’s maid of honor, had mentioned the young woman’s name several times. Belinda Carson, Christa’s wedding planner. Good thing he’d always been a sucker for redheads….