The mafia's girl

  Have you ever wondered what life would be like if there was no villain to your story, if life was just a big ball of happiness, if you never fell in love with that bad boy who helped you give into your insanity? I wonder too. Arina's POV     My name is Arina Nash, i'm 17, my mother is a drug addict, I remember clear as day how my mother would make me play with the little boy that came to our house with his dad.      His name was Raphael, he would never play, just promise me that some day he was going to marry me and sometimes he would braid my hair calling me a beautiful princess, while my mom would be getting high off the drugs his dad supplied.      When they would leave I feared for my life, the drugs did things to her, she would beat me for hours on end accusing me of being the reason my dad left. She used to always tell me the story of how I ruined everything for her.      He didn't want me, when she was pregnant with me they were young so he left, I never had a dad, I don't want one either. He erased all contact with my mom so she had to drop out of school and raise me alone because her parents didn't approve either, she told me it was all my fault and she'd never let me forget it.      Rolling out of bed I pushed the memories to the back of my mind, it's a Saturday, I hated weekends at home, texting my best friend Charity I asked her to pick me up so we could go to the mall, tossing the phone back on the bed, I walked to the living room where I found my mother sprawled out on the floor with white powder under her nose, crack, taking small steps towards her when I was sure that she wasn't moving I helped her onto the couch.      Going to the kitchen I grabbed her a glass of water and a slice of leftover pizza, when I returned she was awake and watching tv like everything was normal so I gently sat the plate and water in front of her, doing my best to avoid her reach making her snarl at me when I walked away and toss the glass at my head.      It took everything in me to ignore her because when I talked back it only made things worse. The water dripped down the back of my head and the glass had shattered once it hit the ground. Letting out a sigh I went to the bathroom to take a shower and leave as possible.      After my shower I pulled my hair into a high ponytail and applied foundation to cover the bruises on my face before I started to look through my closet for a decent outfit. I decided on an oversized periwinkle jumper that stopped just above my knees with a pair of black tights to go under it and my pale blue Chuck Taylors.      Just as I was finished getting dressed, a car horn went off outside making my mother yell from down the hall.     Grabbing my phone and the stash of money I kept hidden so my mother wouldn't steal it, I made my way to the front door when my mother stopped me.     "Where the f**k are you going?" she asked while preparing for her next fix.     "Out with a friend, i'll probably be back later." I stated with my hand on the door knob, my mom was crazy and I didn't have time for a fight or argument today.     "You don't have any friends, you're just a home wrecking w***e, make sure you bring your ass back here in three hours or i'll come drag you back. Now get the f**k out of my sight," rolling my eyes I walk out the door muttering all the things that I wouldn't dare say to her.     It wasn't out of fear, it was out of respect and love for her. I grew out of being scared of my mom when I was ten because I had finally understood that if you showed fear then the hits got worse. Hopping into Charity's jeep, I threw my head back against the seat as she drove towards the city.      When we had got to the mall I immediately dragged Charity to forever 21. We tried on outfit after outfit and couldn't decide what to get so we decided to buy it all.      Most people would think that I'd worry about money with my situation at home but my job pays well as a babysitter for rich snobs who want nothing to do with their children.      After about an hour and a half, we decided to stop for lunch and head back to Charity's house. Charity is my best friend of ten years, she knows what my mom is like and has never judge me for it, without her i'd literally go insane.     "So babes how's life at home, getting any better?" she asked throwing herself onto the canopy bed that sat in the middle of her massive bedroom. Charity came from a very wealthy family but I don't know what they do, she say's its old money, I never questioned it either because it wasn't my business.     "Nope, who gives a s**t though, I'll be eighteen two months from now and we can leave after graduation. How are you and Michael?"     Charity turned beet red when I mentioned her long distance boyfriend. They've been together for three years now and she still acts like everyday is a first date with him, all giggles, all the time.      I, on the other hand never had a boyfriend, no first kiss, nothing, it's not that I didn't want one. I just wanted him to be the right person, the person who made me feel alive, who brought out parts of me that I never knew existed.   If only I knew how wrong I was.     We talked and listened to music while trying on the clothes we bought today until my phone started going off like crazy, my mom was texting me to come home or she'd kill me if I'd mess up what she had planned.     Reluctantly Charity helped me pack up all the clothes I bought and drove me home.      Grabbing my bags I walked up the side walk hesitantly while Charity gave me a sad smile before pulling off. When I had walked through the front door, there were 3 men sitting on the couch in all black, greeting them with an awkward smile I called out for my mother who came rushing into the living room.      Her hair looked a little less messy than usual and she kept rubbing her hands on her robe. I hope she knows that she looks crazier than usual.     "Let's go in the kitchen and talk," she said ushering the man who sat in the middle to the dining area, he looked familiar but I couldn't put my finger on it. He reminded me of someone I knew years ago.     Following them into the kitchen I stood quietly by the counter listening to their conversation when he handed her 5 bags of crack, happily she turned around to me and smiled brighter than a kid in a candy shop.     "Arina go pack your things, you now belong to the nice young man here", she said, her smile never fading.     "What the hell do you mean I belong to him? I don't even know this guy", my anger was beginning to spike, I was quickly putting one and two together when I realized she sold me for drugs.      Before I could say anything else, the guy who had gave her the drugs was now holding her in his arms with a gun to her head.     "Aww my beautiful principessa, it hurts that you don't remember me, we used to have so much fun together as kids. Now do as your mother said and go get packed, or don't, I can replace it all."      My eyes widened at the nickname, only one person called me that, I refused to believe that this is him standing here in front of me. It was him, Raphael, that's why he looked so familiar, when I was younger I loved everything about him. He was my peace in a world of insanity and now he was causing it instead.     "R-Raphael? What the f**k are you doing?! Put the gun down!" I said softly taking small steps towards him with my hands in front of me, my mother was too high to notice that she was in danger, and I literally felt fear take over my whole body for her.     Raphael's dad used to sell my mom drugs and now here Raphael stood doing the same, he wasn't that little boy that called me beautiful anymore, he was a monster who had a gun to my mothers head.      "Raphael, don't do this. If you do this, you aren't that little boy I thought I loved all those years ago."     Smirking, he pulled the trigger before dropping the gun, with a fake oops expression on his face. Blood splatter all over my face and clothes as I dropped to the ground grabbing my mother as blood pooled around her, letting out a loud sob I looked up at him, he stood there looking down at me with no remorse or regret, just a bored expression, that pissed me off.     Catching sight of the gun he had dropped I quickly grabbed it and killed the other two men that had came with him before aiming the gun at Raphael himself.     The barrel of the gun was pressed to his forehead and yet he held the same devilish smirk from earlier.      "Princess are you really going to hurt me? We were once friends, you just said you loved me", he joked acting like he was hurt that I would could kill him.     "No I loved the old you! You aren't that little boy that I once loved, I adored him! While your dad was getting my mom high off her ass that Raphael was the one who comforted me, who called me a beautiful princess, you're a monster. I could never love a monster like you."      He tensed and his smirk from earlier was gone while tears were still streaming down my face.     "Love, you're a monster yourself, look at my two guys you just killed without batting an eye. Anyway I have business to attend to so come on", looking around me I went into a state of shock, I couldn't move, I could speak, everything around me had came to a pause when I realized he was right...I'm a murderer just like him.      When he noticed I wasn't moving Raphael came over and swooped me up into his arms bridal style, I didn't protest either, I was in too much shock at what I had done. Hours later we had pulled up to a mansion and I was still in shock from my actions.   You're a monster yourself...his words kept ringing in my head, I had killed two innocent people, yet I was angry with him for killing my mother. Those men probably had families, kids, people who were expecting them to come home and I murdered any chance of that when I pulled the trigger.     Raphael had carried me out the car and up a grand staircase to a room that was covered in the colors white, grey, and black.      The room was beautiful with dark grey walls, it had a king sized bed in the middle with black and white pillows and on the right there was a balcony where two chairs and a small table sat. The rest of the room had a huge flat screen tv and the insuite had a walk-in closet, while I took in my surroundings I noticed that Raphael had left making sure to lock the door behind him.      My hands begin to shake in front of me as I looked down at the blood that covered them. The thought of killing someone made me sick to my stomach.      Tears started to pool in my eyes blurring my vision, stumbling over to the balcony I gripped the railing looking down.     The balcony was high enough to kill me if I jumped, climbing over the railing I looked down again as my hair stuck to my face with fresh tears rolling down my cheeks. I was about to jumped when I was pulled back over the railing into two strong arms.     "What the f**k were you thinking?! You could've died Arina!" Raphael yelled at me making me angry.     "That was the whole point! Look at me I'm covered in my mothers blood! I killed two innocent people, I can't even began to be mad at you when I did the same exact thing minutes after you! I don't deserve to f*****g live! Those men had families, families that they are never going to go home to see, all because I killed them! I'm the real monster here!"     By time I was done I was full blown sobbing. He had wrapped his arms around me again and whispered sweet nothings into my ear that would've soothed me years ago but only made me cry harder now.      "You're not a monster, I, I only said that to hurt you. Please don't cry, those guys weren't as innocent as you think they are, and as for the blood, you can take a shower in there and i'll have a maid bring you a fresh pair of clothes. Just please don't cry."      He begged me not to cry, he refused to even let me go until I had stopped.     When I had finally managed to stop crying I was sent to take a shower. I scrubbed and scrubbed my body as hard as I could until the blood rushed off of my body painting the water red, when the water ran cold I decided my shower was over and wrapped myself in a fluffy black towel.     Peaking my head out the bathroom door I made sure the room was empty before getting dressed in the night gown the maid had left and crawling into the bed.     Balling up into myself I realized that I no longer had any family to call my own...and for the first time all I wanted was my mother.