Never A Bridesmaid, Always A Bride

1 Alyssa Morgan stepped out of the cab at the foot of the driveway on Highway 89. She looked around at the sprawling vineyard before her, wishing she were anywhere but there. Amavita Estates had been her home for eighteen years, but Alyssa had run from Bereton, New York and the Finger Lakes the first chance she’d gotten. The only daughter of a single mom, she wanted to get out. She needed excitement, activity. More than her small home town had to offer. Yeah, she had eight cousins that she grew up with, but they all had siblings. She was on her own, even within the crowd. Her mom, Marie, was the oldest of the Richliano sisters. Alyssa loved her mom, but she fought with her a lot as a teenager. Fifteen years later, Alyssa couldn’t help but wonder if she and her mom would actually get along. Alyssa had grown up a lot since she’d left home. She’d also screwed up a lot. In truth, Alyssa wasn’t ready to face her family, but she didn’t have anywhere else to go. Nor did she have a choice. She had been summoned by her mother. Alyssa didn’t know what was going on, but when you were told to come by one of the sisters, you answered. Alyssa looked down at her four inch heels and wondered if she should have asked the cab driver to take her down the drive to the main house, the inn where she’d lived growing up. No. Walking would be good for building up her resolve before she faced the family. She’d barely kept in touch with any of them since she left and hadn’t seen anyone except her mom. Marie was there for Alyssa at her weddings. All three of them. None of her aunts or cousins had come though. Within a few steps Alyssa realized how tough the gravel would make dragging her suitcases. Her heels were proving to be deadly to her ankles, but the cab was long gone, and she was going to have to deal with it. She’d gotten tougher over the last few years. The vineyard looked the same as it always had. Alyssa took in the sloped land leading to Cayuga Lake. The beauty of the Finger Lakes region in central New York always struck Alyssa. Most people loved visiting New York City, or even Niagara Falls, but to Alyssa, there was nothing more picturesque than the vineyards around the Finger Lakes. Not that it had been enough to hold her there. She had bigger dreams. Dreams that involved getting to know her father, a big city job, and letting the love of her life be free to be happy. In fifteen years, she’d accomplished exactly none of her goals. She still had a shitty relationship with her father, even after living in the same city as him for three years. That big city job she thought would fall into her lap after college never happened since she never finished her degree. She’d even tried to move on with her life and forget about Jake Monroe. Jake was the one reason she’d considered staying in Bereton. He was everything she wanted in a man when she was eighteen. When she left, she planned to come back, but the longer she was away from Jake, the more she realized he deserved someone who wanted the same things he did. Someone like Lana. Her mom told her nothing ever happened between Jake and Lana, but Alyssa was sure it would eventually. And if he didn’t end up with Lana, he would find another woman who loved Bereton and wanted the small town life he did. Alyssa tried to convince herself there was another man out there for her. She’d thought she’d hit the jackpot when she met Rich. He was similar enough to Jake that she could lose herself in him and pretend she was happy. Of course, that fell apart along with her other two marriages, leaving Alyssa no better off than when she left home. Alone. Miserable. But thirty-three instead of eighteen. As she dragged her suitcase down the angled driveway leading to her childhood home, Alyssa found herself wondering why she hadn’t come back. No, she knew the answer. Not that she’d ever have admitted it to her mother or any of her eight cousins. Alyssa knew some things were better left unsaid, even in her Italian family that never seemed to be able to hold their tongues. The old stone and brick two story house finally came into view. A porch ran along the entire front of the house with a swing on one end and a wooden couch on the other. Some of the rooms had Juliet balconies overlooking the front of the house. On the back were the bigger balconies and the more expensive rooms overlooking the bulk of the vineyard and Cayuga Lake. Alyssa and Marie lived on the ground floor of the main house with her Nonna, Tina, and saw to all the guests’ needs. Alyssa’s heart rate picked up knowing she would come face to face with her past. A past she’d tried to leave behind. Three times. Too bad for her none of those times stuck. Instead, there she was, single yet again, and going back home to live with her mother. Could her life get any worse? Alyssa knew better than to ask that question. Of course, as soon as the thought slipped into her mind she heard his voice. It was smooth, deep, and brought tingles to her entire body. She’d dreamed of that voice more times than she cared to admit and fantasized about the man attached to it so often she was sure she’d just conjured him up when he said, “Can I help you?” A simple question, something so ordinary and common. She was sure he didn’t recognize her or his tone wouldn’t have been so cordial. His voice was like balm on all her old wounds. He still had a slight accent, faint now, but it was there. Maybe this trip home wouldn’t be so bad. When she turned toward his voice, Alyssa saw the man who matched the voice in every way. His dark hair was cut short, though not as short as when he started at Amavita, but looked like it could use a trim. His hazel eyes made a quick scan of her body and she could see mild appreciation in them. His broad shoulders stretched his white Amavita Estates t-shirt tight and fought to contain his biceps and chest before dipping to his narrow waist. Well worn jeans hung low on his hips and hugged his thighs. On his feet were boots that had clearly gotten their share of use. If Alyssa allowed herself, she would definitely get wrapped up in the gorgeous man before her again. It wouldn’t happen though. She was there to see what her mom wanted and she would be gone once more, off to find another place to run, another place to pretend could be home. Another place to be a bride to some undeserving man. “I’m fine,” Alyssa finally answered, hoping he wouldn’t recognize her. It wasn’t likely given how much she’d changed over the years. She barely recognized herself when she looked in the mirror most days, and Jake hadn’t seen her in almost fifteen years. She gave him what she thought was a polite smile and turned toward the house again. Before she could take two steps, her suitcases were pulled free of her hands, and she whirled on him, keeping her sunglasses firmly in place so he wouldn’t see her eyes. “I said I was fine.” He gave her that slanted grin that said he was both amused by her and pacifying her. “I’m sorry, but guests aren’t supposed to carry their own stuff. Are you checking in?” Jake nodded toward the main house, which was also a Bed & Breakfast. Alyssa’s grandparents, Tina and Carmelo Richliano, had just expanded from running the vineyard to opening the inn when her grandfather was killed in a car accident. Tina pulled in her four daughters to help run Amavita Estates. Alyssa’s mom, being the oldest, had taken the lead on running the place and thrived with the inn. It was just another thing Alyssa had run from. All the strangers in her home made her feel even more alone. The other families had their own homes throughout the vineyard, but Alyssa couldn’t get away from everyone. Except when she went to her favorite tree by the lake. Or when Jake arrived. “No, I’m not checking in. I’m just here to see my mom, Jake, then I’ll be out of your life again. This time forever.” Jake Monroe watched Alyssa walk inside and couldn’t bring his feet to move. Jesus. She looked…different. Alyssa. The woman who just walked in was not his Alyssa. Then again, his Alyssa left fifteen years ago and never came back. She looked nothing like the uptight blonde in the white blouse and navy pencil skirt. Not to mention the heels. Her hair was short, almost to her chin, and she was thin. Her angular cheekbones and tiny little waist did little for him. Not the way her curves and softness had drawn him in fifteen years ago. She was still the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. But he’d changed a lot since she left. He held on tight. It took him far too long to realize she wasn’t coming back. Hell, if he was honest, there was a part of him that still held out hope that she’d show up one day and tell him she was there for him. It clearly was not that day. “You okay?” a voice said, snapping him out of his trance. He turned to see Dillon Young, his closest friend at Amavita and Alyssa’s oldest cousin, staring at him like he’d lost his mind. He probably had. “Yeah,” Jake said, shaking his head. “Sorry.” “The sisters have called a meeting. Are you coming?” Jake felt like family after being with the Richliano family for so long, but he wasn’t blood. He also knew his authority was in name only. If any of the cousins challenged him, he would be out the door and they would be taking over the place. As an employee, the handyman, Jake didn’t have a leg to stand on. “Nah, I’m not family,” he told Dillon. He wanted to be in the meeting, to feel a part of the family he’d come to identify as his own, but not with Alyssa there. Jake knew they’d never see him as one of them with her around. When he started working at Amavita, he took a job in the field. Within a few weeks, he was offered the position as general handyman for the vineyard. He loved the work and had started to feel like Amavita was home. He’d learned a lot about who he was when faced with a loving family every day. After growing up in a less than perfect home, seeing a group of people who loved each other so fiercely renewed his faith in humanity. Most days he felt like he was a part of their family, one of the group. But he was just Alyssa’s ex and an employee. Dillon shook his head. His dark hair tousled with the movement. He flipped his sunglasses up into his hair, dragging it away from his face and exposing his hazel eyes. Hazel eyes that would see through Jake as soon as he admitted anything else. “It’s not a family meeting. It’s a business meeting. You always come for those.” “I don’t think I can do it today. I just saw your cousin.” Dillon c****d his head to the side. “Who?” “Alyssa.” Dillon sighed and glanced at the door. Everyone in the family knew what happened with Jake and Alyssa. Hell, they had front row seats to him falling apart. Dillon became a good friend after that, and Jake knew his pain and anger was obvious to Dillon. Dillon’s jaw ticked and his fists balled at his sides. His eyes were full of surprise and irritation. “The prodigal daughter returns. Great,” he half-growled. “I guess she’s here for the meeting?” Jake asked. If Dillon didn’t know Alyssa was coming, he couldn’t help but wonder if the rest of them knew. She looked like she was dreading being there as much as the rest of them would dread having her around. Dillon shrugged. “No clue. Maybe Aunt Marie called her. Or maybe she screwed her life up so badly she didn’t have anywhere else to go.” Jake’s gut clenched. He felt like he’d been kicked in the stomach, a sure sign that something was wrong. Something told him Dillon’s second guess was right and that Alyssa didn’t have anywhere else to go. Her timing might have been coincidental, but she was in trouble. And judging by the look she gave him before she went into the house, it was bad for her to be at Amavita. “Whatever,” Dillon said. He clapped Jake on the back. “Let’s get in there and see what the sisters want. Maybe the meeting will be canceled with Alyssa back.” Jake followed Dillon inside and to the dining room, each step making him more and more uncomfortable. He didn’t know what he’d say to Alyssa if he saw her. When he saw her. It didn’t matter how short her stay was; they’d never been able to stay away from each other long. But Jake had no intention of falling for her again. She made it clear she didn’t want him, then or now, and he’d spent enough years wishing she’d come back. He wouldn’t survive falling for her again only to see her leave. Alyssa stepped inside the house and took a deep breath. It smelled the same as she remembered, like marinara sauce and her mother’s perfume. Marie lived to serve others and thrived on running the inn. Where Marie felt at home surrounded by strangers, Alyssa had felt restricted by it. On the ground floor of the inn was an owners’ suite that she grew up sharing with her mom and Nonna. Nonna had been the one bright spot, saving Alyssa from countless encounters with her mom. Once Alyssa moved out and made it clear she wasn’t coming back, Marie moved in to Alyssa’s room, leaving Nonna with the bigger of the two rooms. Alyssa didn’t like the idea of staying in her mom’s room, but for however long she was there, it would be okay. Voices came from down the hallway that led toward the kitchen. Alyssa wasn’t ready to face anyone just yet so she headed toward the suite. She pushed through the door and closed it behind her, leaning her back against it with her eyes closed for just a minute. “Alyssa?” Alyssa’s eyes flew open and she took in her mother standing before her. Marie looked older than Alyssa remembered. It’d been four years since she’d seen her mom, and it was clear the years had been tough on her. Her once dark and luscious hair was streaked with gray and hung limply past her shoulders. Marie’s eyes were dull instead of their usual vibrant brown. Alyssa remembered seeing the green and honey in her mom’s eyes when she would talk about something she loved. Alyssa had been searching for the same spark in herself that she’d seen so often in her mom. She hadn’t found it yet. “Hi Mom.” “Oh, Alyssa. I’m so glad you’re home, honey. You look wonderful.” Alyssa found herself within her mother’s awkward embrace. Marie felt thinner than usual, and Alyssa worried her mother might be sick. “Are you okay Mom? You’ve lost weight.” Marie released Alyssa and ran her hand over Alyssa’s hair. “You’re one to talk about losing weight. I’m good, honey. Just a bit worn out. I’m getting old.” Alyssa smiled at her. “You’re not old, Mom.” “I’m sixty-eight. I’ve been trying to be more careful about what I eat, but I’m not sick. Not that I know of. Thank you for coming.” Alyssa nodded and glanced around her old room. “You told me I had to be here. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t given much of a choice,” Alyssa deadpanned. Marie smiled and nodded. “I guess that’s true. I was getting your room fixed up. I’ve cleared my stuff out so you can be comfortable and just changed the sheets. We’re all supposed to meet in a few minutes.” Alyssa had barely made the meeting. She’d intended to be there a little earlier so she could take a shower and change, but her train was late getting in. She was going to have to settle for a quick change, if that. “Are you ready to head to the dining room? I was about to walk down there. Andie and Zach are already there, and the others should be coming in any moment.” Alyssa stifled her desire to tell her mom to go ahead without her. If she was going to have any hope at re-establishing a relationship with Marie, she had to meet her halfway. At least. With her suitcase rolled into the corner and her purse tucked away in the dresser, Alyssa followed Marie to the dining room. She heard lots of voices and knew most, if not all, of the family was there. Whatever was going on had brought them all together for the first time since Alyssa left, fifteen years ago. She started to sweat thinking about seeing her cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandmother. She wondered what her mother had told them about her over the years. Alyssa had been careful how much detail she’d shared with her mom, not wanting to admit how much of a failure she’d become. It didn’t really matter what they knew though. She’d left. When she said she’d come back, she left. She broke hearts with her choice, but it was the best one for her at the time. At a time when she was a selfish teenager barely old enough to say ‘I do’ let alone keep a husband happy. Jake was supposed to be her husband. He was the guy she dreamed of. The guy she imagined saying those words to all three times. But she gave up the right to be with him when she left. It was one of the many regrets she carried with her. She could try to throw blame around and believe it wasn’t her choice. That the way her life went after she went to New York City was fate stepping in and telling her she didn’t deserve Jake. Even though she knew that part was true, she also knew she couldn’t blame her choices on fate, or Rich, or her dad. She made the choices that carried her away from Jake forever. And the ones that brought her back to his doorstep. Just thinking of him made her heart hurt. Would he be at the meeting? He wasn’t technically a part of the family, but Marie had been singing his praises for years. Jake was more a part of her family than Alyssa was, except she was blood. No, it would be better if Jake wasn’t there. Alyssa didn’t need the distraction. She was going to be leaving soon, and she didn’t want any reason to think of staying, especially if that reason was a man. She’d done too many things for too many men already. Alyssa needed to start living for herself.