When I was a Slave

“I want more, Mommy!” said Lily, my four-year-old daughter. She asked for more pancakes that I made for our breakfast. She loved her pancakes every morning with chocolate syrup and blackberries on top, and she wanted them specifically made by me. I smiled and poked her nose. “Sure!” I put two more pancakes on her plate. “Thank you, Mommy!” “You’re welcome, princess. Now eat your breakfast because we’ll be late.” Lily continued eating. I took a sip of my coffee and looked at the stairs. I shook my head and looked at my wristwatch. “Logan! Where are you?!” I shouted. Logan was my first-born son. “Coming, Mom!” I shook my head. He was always like that. He won’t get down and always waits for me to call him. Every day, this was my routine. I woke up at five to prepare for our things. I work as a cashier at a shop in the city. My children will go to school. Luckily, Logan had a schedule like mine. Lily was in prep school in a daycare center near my work. She had a morning class. But I managed to ask the management to make Lily stay until the afternoon. My husband, Jayson, was not always at home because of his job. He worked as a bodyguard and was only home every six months. He would stay with us for a day, then go out again the next day. I always ask him to stay for a longer time. But his reason was that his boss needed them every day. Especially him, because he was the right man at the right time for our safety. I decided not to ask about his work because I could sense that it was dangerous. So, I decided to work too. for me to divert my attention and stop thinking about his safety. Not long ago, Logan came down. He had already changed his school uniform. Logan was still in sixth grade. But at the age of ten, he was already tall. Most people would mistake him for a teenager, but he was not. He was still a baby to me. “Now, eat! I always told you to move faster, Señor!” Logan laughed a bit. “Yes, Mommy.” I rolled my eyes. We managed to finish our breakfast on time. I sent my children to their school, and I went to work. “Logan! Be good, okay? Don’t talk with strangers!” “Yes, mom. I’m not a kid anymore, please! You always say that!” “You’re still a baby!” Logan grunted and made a face. I laughed and watched as he walked inside the school. I double-checked Lily in my rearview mirror. She was waving at her brother even though he was not looking at us anymore. “Are you ready, baby?” “Yes, Mommy!” she said excitedly. Lily had always been excited about her class. She loved playing with her classmates because that was the only time she could play with her peers. I drove my car to the daycare center. And send her in front only because parents don’t go inside the room. It was for kids to be independent. There was a teacher waiting for them in front. “You behave, okay?” “Yes, Mommy.” “Don’t go out and never talk with strangers.” “Yes, Mommy.” I smiled and kissed her forehead. “Go inside now.” “Goodbye, Mommy!” Lily waved at me. I gave Lily’s things to the teacher. “I will get her at six.” “Okay, ma’am.” I went back to my car and stared at the building for a second. This was my usual day. My normal day. But I will never exchange this for anything, even though it was exhausting. My family was the most important thing to me. My kids. My husband. I could never give them up on anything. I love them. They were my life. If anyone asked if I wanted to get my old life back? I wouldn’t want it. My past was miserable, a painful past. Most of my friends think that I am the luckiest person on earth. I have a husband who loves me so much and a perfect family. A perfect life. However, that was all they saw. They never knew the real me. I was ten years old when I was orphaned. I grew up poor. My father was a fisherman, and my mother did laundry only in our neighborhood. I was the only child, which was why, when they died because of the storm, I was left alone. I don’t know where to go. I had to work to have food to eat. My neighbors gave me some, but it was not enough. Until Madam Ching came to our house. Madam Ching was an old lady, not that old, but I can see her wrinkles already. Her skin was loosening up, and only her eyebrows were drawn. At first, I feared her. She had the look that every child would fear.  And she talked like a loud, broken speaker. She told me that she was my aunt and that my mother was her sister. I couldn’t believe it at first. She looked too old to be my mother’s sister. Plus, my mother never told me about her. But because I was a kid, I needed a new home. I had to go with her when she went to the city. I was over the moon that I wouldn’t be alone anymore. And going to the city was always my dream. Madam Ching took care of me. She dressed me. She gave me food. I was spoiled. But everything changed when she took me to a loud and dark house. She had dressed me well that afternoon. Put light make-up on my face. I didn’t care because I thought we were going to the mall again. But I was wrong. She left me in that house. I saw how happy she was when she was talking with a scary bald man. He had tattoos and was smoking hard. She gave Madam Ching a small bag, and then she left me in the room without saying anything. I cried and begged her not to leave me in that place. But the scary man took me inside. There were a lot of girls. Some were young too, and some were adults. But most of them were not wearing anything anymore. I was terrified by the scene I saw. I begged them to send me back to Madam Ching. I only wanted to be with her. She was my only family member. But the scary man told me to forget about her already because that place will be my new home. My new life. And Madam Ching sold me to be a prostitute. At a young age, I couldn't do anything. There were kind girls at the hostel. I remember Faith. She was older than me by only three years. She helped me survive the place. In my first year, I did nothing. But it was traumatic for me because I could see the other girl being used by men. They couldn’t do anything and were scared, like me. If we resist, we will be beaten until we can't walk anymore. No one wanted it to happen to them. So, we didn’t have a choice. At least I was safe for a while. All I did was watch. Men didn’t care about me until I turned twelve. It was that time when I had my first period. The scary men with guns injected something into me, that I later learned was an injectable that I wouldn’t be pregnant with. They started asking me to wear daring clothes. They told me to go see gentlemen dressed in finery. They were all excited because I was new. I was a virgin. And every man wanted an innocent young lady. In the end, I was given to an old, pervy man. I had no idea how much they paid for my dignity. But that night was the start of my nightmare. I begged him not to do anything to me. I told him that I was only a child, but he became deaf. He ravished me without thinking that I was only a kid. He took my virginity without a second thought. He didn’t care about my cries, as long as he was satisfied. That was my history. No one knew about that, not even my husband, and I wanted it to be like that. What mattered was my present and future. I buried it the moment I left. I don’t want anyone to learn about my dark past. including the time when I was a slave.