To Love A Ghost

A NOT SO FORGOTTEN MEMORY

"Did I scare you?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine."

"I just never thought I had so much hatred inside of me."

"Neither did I." I say and go quiet as I continue stroking his hair.

After Kyle broke down in the living room, I convinced him to talk to me about everything that happened with him and Chelsea. Now we're in my room laying on the bed with his head on my laps while I'm gently stroking his hair. I actually never realized that in these past few weeks, his figure has been getting more clear and it doesn't even feel like he's a ghost.

"Chelsea was my first girlfriend. We met in high school as freshmen. I don't know exactly what it was about her that made me fall deeply in love. She always knew how to make me laugh, she made me happy and she accepted me for the person I was. I accepted her for who she was and that's how things were. We never really argued or fought with each other but times when we did, we would break up. We dated for six years and we always got back together after fights and things were fine. At least from my point of view."

Flashback

"Kyle I can't do this anymore."

"Can't do what?"

"I can't be with you any more. I can't handle this relationship."

She turns to leave but I grab a hold of her hand.

"Hold on. Chelsea you can't just leave me like that. You know that whenever we have a problem we just have to sit down and talk about it."

"I can't do that anymore. It's not something you can just change in a split second."

"Then at least tell me what it's about."

"You're not romantic!" She yells and I let go of her hand. 

"What?"

"I don't know what is wrong with you. You just don't know how to make things special anymore. There's no spark between us anymore. That's not even the most important thing. You are so annoying sometimes and I can't take that. I know we argue sometimes and make up but I'm so tired of that. I'm not ready for a relationship with someone I don't really love."

"Are you being serious right now?" I ask her. 

"Chelsea we've been in a relationship for six years! Six whole years! How is this coming up now?"

"It's coming up now because -" She stops talking mid sentence. 

"Because I found someone better than you! We've been dating for four years and I don't regret it at all. " She says and runs out of the house.

"I was too hurt to go after her."

I listen to him attentively and save any questions I may have for after he's done.

"It was the last time I saw or heard from her. Months had passed and things for me kept getting worse. My mother passed away, I got demoted at my work place because I wasn't performing well and I was later diagnosed with the signs of an upcoming stroke when my arms started becoming weak and I had a few problems walking. 

It was cause I was suffering from depression. It really is true when people say depression kills." He laughs a little but I still see the sadness within him.

"I was given medication for everything and I had a personal therapist helping me with some things but even so, I never cared and eventually I actually had a stroke. That's what killed me."

Well that answers my question.

"The only reason I turned into a ghost was because when I was dying, the only person in my mind was Chelsea. I died with the thought of her only."

He sighs.

"Now here I am. I can't even receive judgement because I've failed to fully let go of that day. The day she left." He stops talking and I stare at him for a few seconds. 

"Are you sad?" I ask.

He looks at me a bit puzzled at first then he smiles.

"I honestly don't know how I feel anymore."

I feel bad for him. I wish I could do something about all of this but I know nothing about ghosts or the after life.

Just as I'm about to give up on what do he asks me something I never expected him to ask.

"If I ever passed on completely, would you come visit my grave?"

I look into his eyes for a while then answer.

"Yes. Any chance I got. I would." I say this wholeheartedly. 

"Then can we go together right now?" He asks. 

"It's really late. I'm a bit scared to go outside."

"That's why I'm here." He says and gets up from the bed."But if you're too scared, we can go tomorrow, or another day."

I just nod my head in agreement to that. I do trust him but right now it's not safe to leave the house unprepared.

"Do you want to sleep right away?" He asks.

"No. Not yet." I respond and stand on my bed. "I still want to talk to you a little more."

I notice a slight smile on his face when I say that.

"You have questions?" He asks.

"Yep. But you have to promise not to get angry again."

"I'll try." He shrugs his shoulders. "Okay shoot."

"Before we went into the living room, I wanted to hand you the speaker but you said ghosts can't come into contact with the things that contributed to their death."

"And I'm guessing your question is how did the speaker contribute to my death, right?" He finishes off.

"Yeah."

"Chelsea and I used to play music on that speaker whenever we stayed up late or whenever we just wanted to dance. So in some way, it still goes back to her. It's basically part of the curse or whatever."

"Okay next question. Has your dad ever seen your ghost?"

"Nope. He has prayed for me many times and my ghost has been awakened many times but it all depends on whether I want to reveal myself or not."

"Then why did you reveal yourself to me?" I ask and he goes quiet for a minute.

"I was intrigued by you. Usually, only couples would rent this place out so when you came in alone and prayed for me, I gained an interest to actually show myself."

"Did the couples also pray for you?"

"No. They always found it useless. They were always here to do all that romance stuff they normally do." The look of disgust on his face makes me giggle. "That's why I always scared them away."

"You are just horrible." I laugh.

"I'm a ghost, what else do you expect from me?" He laughs and flies closer to my face. "Or are you forgetting that I'm one?"

He startles me and I take a step back without realizing that I'm already at the edge of the bed. I lose my balance and start falling over. Why do I have to be so clumsy sometimes? I don't fall over. Instead, I get pulled back and I'm wrapped up in a tight embrace. I slowly open my eyes and find Kyle staring right at me.

"You are so clumsy." He gently smiles at me.

"I.... know." I respond. 

None of us utter a word. I don't remember the last time I was this close to someone. Body against body and this time I don't want to move away from him.

"Mia." He says my name and tightens his grip around my waist, bringing me even closer to him.

I slide my hands up his chest and onto his shoulders then a thought comes to mind.

"Do you want to dance with me again? This time, without any broken glasses and shaking rooms." I smile.

He smiles back and gives me an answer I was not expecting.

"No. We can do that tomorrow. I just want to stay like this a little longer if it's okay with you." He says and bury's his face into my neck.

I don't say anything more. I just wrap my arms around him and we stay like that for some time. My heart is racing and hopefully he can't hear it.