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Wait for The Sunshine…

There goes my heart beating

And you are the reason

-Calum Scott

I’m standing in front of the mirror. I wonder if he will like what I’m wearing. It’s a one-shoulder black top with a grey, front slit belted skirt. It reaches beyond my knees and I decided that black heeled sandals would go fine with it. My makeup is simple: just eyeliner with mascara and nude lipstick. I glance at the watch. He will be here in 15 minutes.

“Oh, my goodness, Sarah! He sees you like this, he will fall to the ground with his mouth open.” Lily always expresses her thoughts in a very umm… descriptive way. I laugh.

“Will he like this?”

“Are you kidding me? This is so beautiful.” As she corrects my hair, my phone beeps.

“I’m here. Waiting for sunshine.

-Alex. 31.05.17, 8:03 am”

I melt into a pool of a very happy Sarah. He called me ‘sunshine’. I grab my purse and head downstairs. He is leaning against his car, his phone in his hand. I guess he is typing. I get a moment to admire his masculine frame. He looks so good in grey trousers and a black shirt. And he has sunglasses on. Beautiful and oblivious to my gaze, he’s concentrated on something. Suddenly I realize we are wearing the same colors today.

He looks up and takes his sunglasses off. He gawks at me for long moments. Then he starts coming up to me. Oh my. I see the most beautiful smile on his face. He hugs me softly and gently, as if I’m porcelain. It takes me by surprise but I hug him back, linking my hands on his neck. He smells divine.

“Hello, sunshine.” He whispers into my ear so softly goosebumps spread all over my arms.

“Hi, ace.” I whisper.

“Why ace?” He asks still holding me tight, with one hand on the small of my back, and one on my nape.

“Because I don’t think there’s anything you do badly. You ace everything.” He laughs softly and the sound relaxes me to an extent I want to sleep in his arms right away.

“I like it then.” He looks into my eyes. “You are stunning. I mind you going out like this. I don’t trust people around you when you are so gorgeous.”

“I have the feeling you never trust people around me. Especially Arthur.” I regret the words as soon as they leave my mouth. His expression hardens and he rakes his hand through his hair.

“Let’s go. Or we’ll be late for work.” he releases me and opens the car door. Good for you, Sarah, you ruined the moment. Congrats.

Inside the car, I take his hand. “Alexander, you should know that nothing ever happened between me and Arthur. And won’t ever happen. He’s my student.”

“Baby, you know very well that he likes you a bit too much for just a teacher.” He kisses my knuckles and closes his eyes. “Yes, I don’t trust him. Please make sure he knows we are together. Okay?”

“Okay, but how am I supposed to do that?”

“Yeah, you’re right. I will do that myself. Do you have a lesson today?”

“Yes, 4 o’clock.”

“Okay baby.” He says as he reaches for my cheek and caresses it with his fingertips.

“Wait. What are you going to do?”

“Nothing for you to worry about, sunshine.” Oh ace, you are going to be so much trouble for the guys around me… I think this, as he pulls into the street and expertly navigates the car through the traffic.

“I want to know you better, Sarah.” He says suddenly, watching me admire the landscape of the stunning Yerevan. This city has some kind of energy, a vibe that infects you with dynamics.

“Good idea. Do you know how to know me better?” I say, curious to explore his ideas.

“I’m going to ask you questions and you are going to say the first thing that comes to your mind. Deal?”

“Deal!” I’m chirpy because I love the idea.

“Okay, question #1. What is the one thing you regret you never did?”

“Not studying psychology as my major.”

“You like psychology?”

“I love it. I read many books on psychology, but I would still like to have higher education on it.”

“I didn’t know. But that’s what this game is about. To know you better.”

“What about you?” I say glancing at him. He has a slight stubble on his cheeks and chin and it makes him look so much more gorgeous. As if there was a chance for more.

“Not contacting you after the first time we met. If I had done it, you wouldn’t have cried because of me.” He says, as if in pain. I want to crawl into his lap, but he’s driving… I just reach for his cheek and kiss it. He smiles.

“Question #2. When does time pass the fastest for you and when does it pass the slowest?”

“When we are together. When we are not together.” This is an honest answer and the first that came to my mind. I hope he doesn’t find this too cheesy. “What about you?”

He leans in and kisses my temple. “Same.” He says smiling. I sigh with relief and do my best not to squeal with joy.

“Question #3. What memory do you always keep going back to?”

I don’t know if I should tell him about the ugly side of my past. Because that was what my mind went back to. But I decide to keep it positive.

“When I was a kid, my aunt adopted a dog. It was a black Labrador with a grey spot on her chest, her name was Silver. Me and Silver developed a strong bond and were in love with each other. One day my aunt told me she had gone missing. Everyone thought she had just run away except me. I spent two days searching for her. Then I found her. Under a bush, far from home. Turns out, she had been pregnant and had run away to give birth. I remember my joy when I found her. She was also happy to see me. When I feel sad, I just remember myself, as a 6-year-old kid, finding my dog. I still wonder how my aunt hadn’t noticed the dog’s pregnancy though.”

“You love dogs?” He asks with a smile.

“Love, love, love them! I want to have a golden retriever one day. It’s a dream.” I bet I’m glowing now. “What about you?”

I think I see something shadowing his features, his face drops, but then, in a split second, he regains the smile.

“I bought myself a bicycle when I was ten. On my own money. I had been working on a construction site for 2 weeks so I could buy the bike of my dreams. I did it.” he says, and I see it in his eyes. The pride, the hard-working nature he has. I am also proud of him. His determination, willpower and hard work had totally played an important role on the way of his success.

“I once decided to learn programming.” I admit shyly.

His brows shoot up. “What happened then?”

“I failed. How is it possible to remember all that? I had only read some 5 chapters of a JavaScript book, and my brain had turned into purée.”

Did I mention I love hearing him laugh? I did? Okay.

“I want us to continue this game.” he says suddenly, making me realize we are in front of my workplace.

“Me too. We will.” I say gently and smile. He reaches for me and kisses me. My breath catches, I feel my knees go numb and I love that feeling.

“I will pick you up from here in the evening baby. 6, right?”

“Yeah ace, 6.”

I had no idea happiness drove a Mercedes and was gorgeous as hell. As soon as he is gone, I miss him already. This is so fast. I have never been this deep in such a short time. But it feels so good. Just to wait for his call, just to watch him watch me, just to hope he feels this way also.

All the lessons before Arthur’s fly fast, but when I see him on the stairs heading for the classroom, my heart starts pounding in my chest. Alex will talk to him today and it makes me so nervous. Judging by his smile now, they haven’t talked yet. Because I am almost sure Alex won’t give him room to smile so widely to me anymore.

“You are breathtakingly beautiful. As always.” He says as he takes his seat at the table. I have no idea how to react to this.

“Thanks!” I simply say.

Trying to prevent him from paying any other compliment to me, I go straight into the lesson. And I act oblivious to all the glances and sweet remarks at me. I hope Alex solves this problem today, because it’s getting on my nerves.

I have never waited for anything this impatiently. 6 o’clock seems to be late. It just never comes! By the time it is 5:56, Arthur leaves and I can sigh with relief. I seem to be off today. Also, my throat is sore and I cannot breathe normally. Maybe it’s the effect of being extremely tense during the lesson. I fix my makeup and hair in the washroom and head to the teacher’s room to say I’m leaving. Lucy and Shawna both look at me strangely.

“Sarah, are you okay?” Shawna comes closer.

“Um, yeah, kind of. Why?”

“You look flushed and exhausted.” Lucy puts her hand on my forehead. “Oh my goodness, Sarah, you have a fever!” Just now I feel it. Yeah, I guess I have a fever.

“It’s okay, don’t worry, I’m going home anyway.”

“Do I call you a taxi?”

“No need, my boyfriend will pick me up.”

“Boyfriend!?” Shawna squeals. “Tell me it’s the guy from the lunch bar.”

I smile. “It is!”

“Oh my god, I’m so happy for you. Now go, don’t make him wait.”

It’s 6:10 but I still haven’t heard from him. I hope Arthur is okay. I excuse myself and send him a quick text.

“I’m heading downstairs. Are you there?

-Sarah. 31.05.17, 6:11 pm”

“Yes. Come to me, sunshine.

-Alex. 31.05.17, 6:12 pm”

I swoon. He’s in a good mood. I love it when he is. I have seen him in a bad mood and don’t want to go back to that. I literally run downstairs. He is in the foyer and he’s looking at me so softly. My fever makes me emotional. I jump into his embrace. He’s firm and gentle. I nuzzle into his neck. After a moment he pulls back and I see concern on his beautiful face.

“Sarah, I think you have a fever. Are you feeling okay?” I am certainly not.

“I’ll be fine, I just have a headache and I’m feeling dizzy. Did you talk to Arthur?”

“I’m taking you home. Yeah, he didn’t know you had a boyfriend and he will keep it formal from now on.”

On the way home, he holds my hand constantly choosing to drive one-handed than let me go. His touch soothes me to an extent I want to sleep. I hope Lily is home now. Her job also finishes at 6, but she gets home sooner because it’s just two blocks away from home. She works in the kindergarten.

“Baby, wake up.” He strokes my head gently. I realize I have fallen asleep. “Do I need to carry you? Can you walk?”

“Alex, it’s just fever, don’t worry, really. I can walk.” I grab my purse and open the car door. He rounds the car and helps me out.

“Is Lily home? Does she know you are not feeling well?”

“I haven’t talked to her since afternoon but she will be home soon.”

“Ok, come, let’s get you home.” He takes my purse and puts his hand on my waist leading me to the building. His touch is magical.

“Where’s the key?” he asks when we reach the door. I give him the key and he opens the door with such ease it makes me wonder how our stubborn door let him open itself when I usually suffer for five minutes to open it every day. Alexander just has his way with everything.

I go straight to the couch and sink into it. I feel so weak. Even the knowledge that Alexander is now watching me cannot stop me from crashing. Hope I crashed ladylike. “I need to wash my hands and then I will make you tea. Where’s the bathroom?” He asks casually.

“You are going to make me tea?”

“Impossible not to notice the irony in your voice. What’s there that surprises you so much?” He raises his eyebrow, a gesture I never noticed him make, but it’s very common of me. It makes me happy that he mirrors my gestures. Means he likes me.

“Never in the world would I imagine Alexander Tateossian making me tea in my kitchen. You amaze me, ace.” I giggle.

“I’m glad you find me amazing baby. Now where’s the bathroom?”

“The first door to the left of the entrance.” He disappears into the hallway. Then appears again. “Did you mean ‘to the right’ because it was a bedroom on the left?” I start laughing. For all my life, I haven’t been able to memorize which side is the right and which is the left. Now he knows I am dumb.

“Why are you laughing?” He is looking at me sheepishly.

“Go wash your hands then I will tell you.” Oh goodness, this is going to be embarrassing. Can I just pretend I’m asleep so I can avoid telling him that?

“I’m back. Now tell me the story and also where you keep your tea.” He comes up to me and kisses my forehead. “I think I should call the doctor. He can come here and examine you. You are too hot.”

“No, please no. I don’t like doctors.” I whine like a child and he laughs. “The tea is in the second cabinet, the cups are on the cupboard. And I confuse left and right.” I quickly say the words knowing he won’t let me escape from this. His gaze is on me. He looks very amused.

“Don’t be embarrassed, it’s okay. Though I knew you couldn’t be perfect, I could never find any flaws in you. Now I know you confuse the right and the left. It’s much better now.” I fall for him just a bit more as he says this. He didn’t let me get embarrassed. He just accepted me as I am, never making fun of it. Tears pool into my eyes. He leans into me and I know he’s going to kiss me. I close my eyes and part my lips. The kiss doesn’t arrive. I open one eye. He looks at me mischievously and grins.

“Wanted a kiss?” Self-absorbed arse.

“No, I just closed my eyes because of the headache.” I try to lie and I fail, hiding my face with my hands.

“Sarah, no. Don’t hide. I was just joking.” He grabs my hands gently and removes them. “Of course I was going to kiss you. I’m sorry.” And he kisses me. Long and soft and so deliciously slow. The heat in my chest expands taking my whole body and I want this moment to never end. But it ends. Because my phone starts ringing. I don’t know who it is but I hate them for ruining the moment. Oh, it’s Lily. Thanks, Lily.

“Sarah, darling, I’m going to be late today. I met one of my school friends. We’re going for a drink. Is it ok?” I can hear it in her voice that she’s happy about it and I don’t want to spoil her mood.

“Yep, go have fun. I’m home with Alexander. Don’t worry.” I say glancing at Alex. I think he approves.

“Oh, okay then. Have fun.” She says in a way that makes me want to kick her ass.

“We’ll discuss what you just said to me when you get home.”

“Well, if you are threatening me, then I won’t come home this week.”

“Nope, just a friendly warning. See you. Yeah, and if it’s a guy you are going to hang out with, then you know the safeword.” She laughs and I hang up.

“You have a safeword?” Alex asks amusedly while making tea for me. Just seeing him so domestic and caring for me stirs something deep inside me.  

“Yeah. It’s a secret though.” I laugh back. “Are you sure you want to call a doctor?”

“Positive. I want to be sure you are okay. And I don’t think he will use syringes today so relax.” He knows my fears.

“Okay then. Do it.”

“Good girl.” He brings my tea. “Now drink this while I’m talking to the doctor.” He takes his phone out of his pocket and sits down next to me. “I think these shoes you are wearing are uncomfortable.” Then he proceeds to remove my shoes. It’s such an intimate act my heart starts racing. He removes them expertly, and then glances at me. I see the tender look in his eyes and I melt.

“Yeah, I think I should change.” I get up and my head spins a little, which I ignore. I take my shoes from his hand. “I’ll be right back.”

Inside my room, I change into a t-shirt and yoga pants. Then I sit on the corner of my bed and just stare at the wall. Is this all real? Is he really in my living room? Did he just take off my shoes? Does he worry about me so much he wants to call a doctor? I’m so afraid this is going to end someday. I don’t want it to end.

I can hear him on the phone, his voice authoritative and smooth. “Yes, she has a fever… Yes… I will text you the address then. Thanks.” This feels like a dream. The best dream I have ever had. A dream come true.