My Sweetest Pain

You look so handsome,you look so amazing, you look so stunning. I still remember the day i met you, the day i saw you. I know it is long gone and our relationship cannot be remember by you anymore. Every time you double crossed my mind those little drop of tears keeps on pouring and i cannot even stop them. If god would have given me a time to go back i will still be your Friend, who gave you everything i have. You came to me like a drops of rain without me holding an umbrella like a soldier should have a gun in a war. I don't have anything with me i can use to fight, all i have was you but you were my enemy, how can i win? I still remember the first day we started going out, it hurts like a salt rubbed into a wound every time i remember that we are not together. That you hate Committing into those kind of relationships. I hate that idea but what can i do i love you and i cannot let you go. Your smile makes my day, your kiss makes me alive and breathing well, but neither do i know that your smile would kill me and your kiss would poison me.  You were my world, my everything but i am nothing. We share each other's warmth every time winter says HI... You kissed me like you own me, you get jealous like i am yours. But you always shows me something that makes me ask myself  "WHO AM I?" You hated my friends for being to close with me but you never hated yourself for flirting your friend in front of me. I should have let you go then, but faith was too cruel, you actually begun to treat me like your girlfriend now. "I LOVE YOU" "I MISS YOU" "I NEED YOU" Those words makes me hesitate to leave you for a while. I started asking myself should i let him go? Or should i not. And guess what i am here reading a book with him on laying on my lap scrolling on his phone. Nothing's special actually but it feels special to me having a quality time with the boy i love. But it doesn't lasts long, my fantasy ended, he told me he is only using me. I hated the fact the he admitted that he's been using me for his s****l needs but i still love him. I STILL LOVE HIM THAT IT HURTS LIKE HELL.