what it feels like to be loved

Right now what I feel is hard to be explained,I feel loved and at the same time I'm scared of the loving feeling,it's not just that I feel lonely.finally I realized that I had lost myself. The Trixie I was named feels like someone else.where are my smiles, beautiful laughter without reason.friends want that Trixie back but I can't give back what is lost. we broke up and I had to move on cis I could not take the fact that I'm just some piece of work to him,if he does not think of as a part of me who am I to think such.i might have love him but he doesn't like d way he used to.its hurting. I want to be his number one girl but I ended up making him regrets talking to me times without number.i lost that piece of me to him.my cheerful,ever smiling,bright living girl,......will I ever find it without him. I'm curious cos now ,I want to start looking for things that makes me happy back then and he is one