The Alpha And The Rogue

Nine

Venus POV

Confronting Hunter about how I felt hadn't been as easy as I thought it would. With every word I said I hurt him deeper and deeper. No matter how much I told myself that I didn't care, it pained me to see him hurting because of me.

Anger soon replaced his hurt expression and that is when I turned terrified. Many alphas were short tempered and few of them had troubles controlling their actions when angered. It wasn't likely that he'd  hurt his own mate, but there was no telling what he could actually do to me if he lost control.

A voice in my head told me to be quiet while other voices shouted louder at me to fight harder with him. No good could come out of us being together. We would only end up like my parents, or worse. The euphoric sensation of love could never last, whether we were meant for each other or not. Love only faded over time or it ended when one someone was gone.

Hunter had left my apartment more than upset. It hurt to see him go, but I knew it was best for me. For us. This was my only way to protect us from the hurt that would surely come later on in life.

I took a seat on my sofa after he was gone. Tears were in my eyes after the fight we had. If it could hurt this bad now, what would it be like when we have a fight several years down the road?

My mind was warring itself over what to do next. My instincts told me to go to him and beg for forgiveness. It would seem so natural to tell him that I didn't mean any of it. And truth be told, I didn't. The only reason I keep pushing him away is because I'm afraid of what will happen if I don't.

Hunter has never even done anything wrong to me which is why it was so hard for my wolf side to justify the way I'd been acting. He deserved a chance, but this wasn't even about him anymore. I wasn't ready to give him a chance yet.

I stood up from the sofa and wiped away my tears. It was pointless to sit there and cry when I couldn't change my feelings in such an instant. I stepped into the kitchen wondering if stress eating would help me feel better. Instead, I walked right back out because I had already eaten breakfast.

When I felt like I was about to self destruct in this small apartment, I left it. A run in wolf form was what I really needed right now.

Running was always something that helped me clear my mind. Being in a different form was literally an out of body experience. Feeling the dirt beneath my paws and the wind blowing through my fur was exactly the type of therapy I could use right then.

The western edge of the forest was less than a mile from where my apartment was. Because of that I walked there instead of driving. 

As I arrived at the treeline I looked for a place to set my clothes. As much as it was an inconvenience to undress every time we wanted to change into our wolf form, it was worth being able to shift into our animalistic counterparts.

I found a large oak that must've been hundreds of years and had a decent sized hole in the trunk. It was either the home of a squirrel or a deliberate hiding spot made by the other wolves of this pack. It was common for werewolves to carve into tree trunks or dig holes into the ground before covering them all so they would have a spot to set their clothes as they were away. It was most useful to those who patrolled the borders often but it could also be used by others. 

Most werewolves weren't strangers to nakedness but because there were humans in the area it's essential that we try to cover up and act normal. And however many wolves didn't mind nudity on occasion, there was always the exception of wolves not wanting others to see their mates without clothes. Wolves tended to have a possessive nature and, especially the males, didn't like having others see their mates in such an intimate state.

As I quickly undressed I shoved my clothes into the shallow hole of the tree, not caring enough to fold them. I assumed that I wouldn't run for any more than an hour.

Dark brown fur sprouted from my human skin as I let my wolf take over. My bones crackled as my body slowly morphed into that of wolf's. I stretched forward, preparing for the exercise I hadn't done in so long.

When I was once again acquainted with the feeling of being in wolf form, I set off faster than a bullet. My legs bounded so quickly I could barely sense my paws touching the ground. The sensation was so similar to flying that I felt like I was high up in the air and I never wanted to come down.

It wasn't until I had been running for about half an hour when I began feeling worn out. Normally I didn't get exhausted so quickly, but I had been out of practice for a good while. All that mate stuff had been so distracting for me.

Once I was stopped to catch a quick breath, my senses honed in around me. I saw each individual color that made up the forest and I could make out the faintest sounds of a rabbit hopping about nearby.

When I was running, I hadn't paid much attention to anything but running. But now, I could make out the faint scents of the others in the woods.

There were scents from the wolves of the pack on border patrol, most not very near here as I was deeper into the woods. But there was also another faint smell. It was one that didn't belong here and it seemed as if someone had attempted to mask it.

A twig snapped just as I turned to see a wolf's canines within inches of my face. I leapt to the side just in time to avoid him clamping his jaw down on me.