The Beginning Called Past

I heard the 7 o'clock alarm and I immediately rose out of my bed still half asleep. "Damn!" I swore while rubbing my left foot. I stepped over a box full of old CD collections. I sat back on my bed still holding my foot. I am fully awake now, and I suddenly felt a stabbing pain in my head. What I am seeing right now is not a good view to start the day with. My closet is open wide, all the boxes where I keep my old things were all over the place. 'Holy shit.' I said to myself. My apartment is a real mess. Worried that I might have been robbed, I immediately checked my bag to look for my phone and my wallet. My wallet is still there but my phone's missing. I searched around and found my phone next to the bathroom door. I picked it up and unlocked it. Displayed on the screen of my phone was the note app and the note says, 'Bastards I should meet', and the first person on the list was Rob Sanchez. I stared at my phone for a while and looked around. Trying to get myself back together, I remembered how frustrated I am last night because of a blind date that had gone wrong. I remembered taking a bottle of vodka out of the fridge and gulping almost half of it in one go. I remembered rummaging through my old stuff last night trying to look for things. For things... Things I could use to remember people. People from my past. And then I remembered seeing the box of CDs and crying the hell out of me. And then that's it. Everything's a blur. I picked up the box of CDs and saw that one memorable CD Rob gave me back in high school. I opened it and I saw a small torn paper inside. And then I remembered something again."Oh my God. No! s**t!" I jumped out of my bed still holding the CD and went straight to the kitchen where my laptop is, but the laptop isn't there and what I saw was Rob's last letter to me. My eyes immediately dropped to the last part of the letter. 'I'll be waiting for you to write me back. Or send me an email.. or call me. I will miss you.' And written next was his email address and phone number. Crap. I ran back to my bedroom now carrying both the CD and the letter to check my phone for call logs. And of course, there it is. I called his number a million times. I can't believe what I am seeing right now. I noticed that the calls made were not answered. I gathered all the courage I have and tried calling the number again, crossing my fingers he would not answer. 'This number is not in use.' said the operator on the other line. I sighed, felt relieved. But only for a while, because I now remember why my phone was sitting next to the bathroom door. Uh-oh. Oh my God. I threw it! I threw it in anger because I heard the same message over and over again when I tried to call him last night. And wait, no. Wait. "No, no, nooo! f**k!" I shouted, ran outside still holding the CD, the letter, and my phone. And then there it is. I saw my laptop sitting on the table in front of my couch. The vodka bottle is lying beside it. Almost empty. I sat on the couch, slowly opened my laptop. It was on the home screen. I have 3 unread emails. Feeling all nervous, it took me a while to click on the mail icon. I have an email from my assistant, one from my boss, and s**t, the other one's from rob.sanchez@stupidme.com (See how I made the email address up because I feel really stupid.) I opened his email. Holy crap. I did it. I really did it. I stupidly did it. I emailed him and now I am staring at his response. I read my email to him. Rob, Hey. Why don't we meet and talk instead of me enailing you? It just feels so fake to me. If you want to know how Im doing, you know where my apartment is (I KNOW YOUVE BEEN ASKING DEAN ABOUT MY WHEREABOUTS) and I heard you're in town. (Yes I've been asking about you too BUT DONT ASSUME I STILL LIKE YOU) Or you can ask me out or something. I just have simething to ask you anyway. I wont wait. See me whenever, I don't care. P.SThanks for giving me your number. Its so useful. Lara What in the world did I just email him? And why did I capitalize so much and missed my punctuations? Now I look stupid to him for sure. What is wrong with the vodka? Dammit. And then I read his email. Lara, Hey... It's good to hear from you. I won't say I missed you as that will sound fake to you.Yes, I know where your apartment is and I could just go there now without answering back, but just so you know, even after 6 years, I still remember how you talk if you're drunk, so I'd rather not go there and see you in your pajamas. Don't you think that's not a good way of showing yourself to me again after 6 years, do you? I assume you will be in your normal spirit once you read this. So yes, I'd like to ask you out politely for dinner. Since I can see you whenever, I hope tonight's gonna be fine? And yes, you don't have to wait. I will be there. I will pick you up at 6. P.SI'd be happy to see you later. And I'd be glad to give you my number again. Rob 6 years. I didn't talk to him for 6 years.. Maybe it's time for me to see him. We could have had something magical if he hadn't moved away. He kept sending me letters but I never wrote back. I never had any serious relationship for almost 2 years now and I don't feel good about it. Last night, I wanted to know what's wrong with me for not having a relationship. A good relationship. Guys would come and go and I just can't find the best person for me. I would always feel that they want something else because there's nothing left to be liked about me anymore. And then there was the stupid plan the vodka and I came up with. I thought I should ask the guys I've had relationships with. I want to ask them why we never really worked out. Was it really me? Because that's what I felt for the past few years. Alright. Now what? Should I email him back? But what should l I say? s**t. Maybe it's time I should start talking to Rob and ask him all the questions I have in mind. Maybe a conversation with my first boyfriend would be the best place to start this plan after all. I let out a deep sigh and I wrote him back. Rob I'll be in my best dress. Lara Seeing all the mess in my apartment, I am undoubtedly Robbed.