Echoes of Desire

I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I didn't even do anything wrong . The girl, Alissa, was only asking me the page number and just then Mr. White had to look my way. I knew I was in trouble. Big trouble. Because he was the strictest professor in our college. But even though his attitude stinks, he is intelligent. A genius. "Ms. Sharma, I know that you probably have already prepared for today's lesson but could you shut up so that the others could concentrate." He said, his voice tight and that familiar vein popping on his neck. His striking eyes challenging me. Those eyes. Those dark obscure eyes almost looked evil. And he was. He was cruel. After realising what he said, I couldn't help but duck my head low from humiliation. He always does this, scolds me, embarrasses me in front of everyone. I could feel my cheeks burning. Burning red from all the hot blood rushing from embarrassment. He always finds something to humiliate me about. "Sir , I w-was j-just pointing out the p-page number to her." I stood up to explain myself. His eyes widened slightly not expecting me to actually say something. It was surprising even for me because I never say anything to him or talk back. I was always the quiet kid. I was always quiet, at home, now in college and when I was in school too. I always sat on the front bench because he had asked me to. And I couldn't defy him. I never had it in me to defy anyone. " Did I ask you to speak?" He asked me. The roughness in his voice making me shudder. I shake my head indicating a no. "Then sit down." I quickly sit down. I felt like crying. Felt like my eyes would burst into tears. My face became hot and my vision turned blurry, eyes brimming with tears. I did not want anymore attention on me than I already had so I quickly blinked away the tears and took my bottom lip inbetween my teeth to stop the wobbling. He was staring at me again with some kind of emotion. An emotion I was never able to understand. This has been happening almost everyday now since the last 3 months when he first entered our college. ~ On his first day which was 3 months ago, I was a little late to class because my maa was upset with me. He was introducing himself to the class when I barged in panting from the quick run I made from home. And then he turned to look at my direction. I was a little flustered that he had to see me as a latecomer. But I was anything but that. Today, no, everyday. Everyday my maa was upset with me because I was a disappointment. and wished that I could be more like my brother. I couldn't remember a time or a day where they wouldn't look at me with disdain in their eyes. "M-May I come in, sir." He came out of whatever trance he seemed to be in. Looking at me with an unfamiliar emotion his eyes. "Yes and you are?" He asked, his voice coming out soft in contrast to his rough features. "Aanya Sharma, sir." My voice quivered. "Please come in and take a seat." Unfortunately the only vacant seat was on the first bench and it was directly infront of him. "My name is Armond White and I'll be your new professor for your econometrics paper." He said to the class. Our old professor Mr.Henry was expelled because that old man sexually harrassed a college student. He was old in his late 50s, to be hitting 60. And that old man harassed a young college student. I wonder what goes through their thought process to actually commit such heinous acts. Do they even have any morals? Anyways, the girls in my class all went crazy over this young professor who looks to be in his late 20s or early 30s. I couldn't blame them though. He really was beautiful. His black hair was like the midnight sky, eyes that could make even the strongest kings to kneel before him, the rough timbre of his voice, his gorgeously handsome face demanded everyone's attention. He was wearing an ironed black dress pants which was clinging to his thick muscular thighs, a light blue shirt with the sleeves rolled upto to his elbow, veins tracing along his rough forearms and a neat sweater vest clad torso. It screamed expensive. In the midst of me checking him out, a girl named Alissa stood up and asked him his age. Her lips lifting up to a seductive smile, biting the corner of her lips to look attractive. But she was being just opposite of that. "I do not know how that is relevant to the lesson but I am 29 years old. Refrain yourselves from asking me stupid questions like that." She shivered in fear due to the glare he gave her. I was glad I was not on the receiving end. And then he looked at me. He looked at me as though he was trying to solve the hardest puzzle giving me his full concentration. As though he was trying to find my deepest darkest secrets. I looked away not being able to keep up with his stare. It was intense. So I kept looking at my blank notebook. Then he resumed teaching and I searched my bag for my pen to take down the notes but it was just my luck that I forgot to bring my pen. "Is there a problem Ms.Sharma?" He asked. "No sir, I j-just forgot to bring m-my pen in a hurry." I gulped. I was really scared now. I didn't know if he would scold me because I have already interrupted him twice. "Look at me when you speak to me." He said in a demanding tone. I flinched back hearing the harshness in his voice. I immediately looked up and that captivating gaze of his again left me breathless. He walked towards my bench. Elegance coating his each step. He carried a dominating aura around him. And I looked down. I couldn't. I was left shocked when he offered me his pen. I gingerly took it form his hold and thanked him. Even his pen looked expensive. And now I was scared. I was scared to even write because he would eat me alive if I were even make a single scratch on the pen's surface. Throughout the whole class I could feel his eyes burning holes through my head. I kept my head down while occasionally looking at the board to take down the notes. His eyes are scary and I make a mental note to arrive early as possible to not sit in the front bench. The class was finished and I heaved a sigh of relief. I will be able to breath comfortably now. But no. I wished the earth would swallow me whole then and there when he uttered those words. "Ms. Sharma, come see me in my office." He said before leaving. I stood in front of his office door contemplating whether to go inside or not. But gathering a little courage I knocked on the door and entered when I heard a 'come in.' I walked towards him with my head bowed down. "I told you to look me in the eyes when you speak to me." He said with a sharp timbre in his voice. I nod my head at him. "Words, Ms.Sharma." "Y-yes , sir." I looked up, " Did you need something s-sir?" My voice quivered. "I expect you to be on time to my class and I want your complete attention in my class or else there'll be consequences. Do you understand?" I felt a tremor go through my body. I quickly nod my head. "Words, Ms. sharma. I don't like repeating myself." He said lifting a perfect eyebrow. He was lazily sitting on his chair, with his right leg over his left one. One muscular arm resting on the armrest with his face resting on his fist and the other arm carelessly laying on top of his thick thighs. "Y-yes,sir." I couldn't help but obey to every word he uttered. "Y-your pen." I stuttered. " You can keep it." He said and what shocked me the most was I saw his lips lift up in a mocking smile. Like he knew he was the reason I kept stuttering. Like he knew he was the reason I feel like this. "You may leave and don't forget to sit on the first bench from now onwards". I didn't waste another second and fled from there. ~ From that day I tried not to do anything that could get me on his bad side and tried to put a stop to whatever that I was feeling before. It was easy but not at the same time. I hate him when he scolds me. Every little thing I do he has a problem with it. I have never hated anyone as much as I hate him. And I have never felt this way ever in my life. He looked like a sin. A sin I was bound to commit. As soon as the bell rang, I left the classroom quickly and went to the bathroom. I quickly splashed some water on my face. My mood dampened as I stared at my reflection. My life at home wasn't any good. So I liked coming to college but now even that too was too much to ask. My parents never loved me because they wanted me to be like my brother, Advik. Even though I tried everything to earn their love, it deemed futile in the end. When I was a school going kid, while other kids played, I studied and studied so that no one could be in the first position in the class, I never made any friends, I never went to parties in high school. I always stayed home. I tried my best to be the perfect daughter. For some of my teenage years I hated my brother because he was always the centre of their attention. So I stopped talking to him thinking he was the problem. But now i didn't really care what my parents thought of me because at the end of the day I am my own person. For some time now I have been trying to save up some money and I am looking for a house near my college to move in. I don't think my parents would care even if I don't come home. Can you believe both my parents are respected lawyers yet they do this to me. I quickly dry my face and get out of the bathroom and head to my next class. . . . . ___________________________________________