Stellam Matutinam

My Fight with Food: Part II

Eventually convincing my body that I'm not being yelled at or attacked by anyone regardless if my ears are ringing and I'm on the brink of crying, I straighten up my huddled in position with a hint of foetal thrown in there in favour of adding a few more things to my plate when I notice the girls along with Josh examining my small pile of food I thought was big.

Not wanting to offend them I pile on some more and begin working my way around the plate, the flavours as well as texture of the meat nothing like I've had before though I'm not complaining since the herbs in it are nice.

More conversation breaks out across and down the long table with wine glasses and bottles passed up and down the line, the bottle not even reaching our end of the table before it's empty and we're having to go back to the shed for our drinks.

Music is then added to keep the party going and laughter flowing, the cousins thankfully distracted as I subtly try and smoosh more of my food together to appear like I've eaten a bit, the feeling of being screamed at finally disappearing and leaving my ringing ears alone to recover from the silent scolding.

Man I actually need help and I don't know where to go or who to ask, I'm slowly going insane and I'm happily taking myself down that path.

"s**t you're doing pretty good, how're you liking the food?" Nessa asks after a while of me being left to myself to try and see what her family's cooking is like.

"It's the best I've flat out ever had and I'm not even bullshitting." I answer truthfully in unison with scolding myself for taking so much MD since I want to eat more than three mouthfuls. That and work out why I'm suddenly being watched and yelled at by unseeing forces I swear a few of Nessa's family members felt as well.

"It is isn't it? After this the family will bust out dessert but we usually raid the fridge for that in the mornings since I'm a sucker for sweet s**t when I wake up. So we can leave and do whatever we want after that for now is when it starts getting boring." she explains then tucks a thick lock of hair behind her ear to avoid getting it in her mouth.

"Sweet I was thinking we could have some more drinks? A cigarette even?" I suggest whilst pouting my lips and hands raised with my palms flat to the sky in a way someone does when giving people options.

"Oh alright then give me a sec and I'll see if the others wanna come along as well." she grins as we both peer over to the others wrapping up their meals also.

"Damn I really wanted to chill around the fire though for a bit lon-"

"I know but it gets boring Niaaaa!" Lissa argues over the top of her sister with a grin creeping into her voice as a few members look in our direction, confusion written all over their faces as they attempt to work out on what's going on.

"f**k up Nia I'm sure we can use the heater inside." Nessa giggles then instantly they're poking one another with me caught in the middle and Josh protecting his precious can.

"Guys come on, not at the table!" their Aunty I've already forgotten the name as well as side of the family she came from, scolds then instantly observe a grin tugging the corners of her mouth.

Rolling their eyes when she looks away we instantly burst out into stifled giggles and snickers in favour of getting ready to ask Bodhi if we can leave the table, all of our arses still attached to the chairs though our legs are pointed in the direction of the shed.

With that unsettled heavy presence returning once again though it's only me that notices it this time for everyone's continuing on with their feast unaffected, I don't feel the fear I did at the start but the urge to look behind me at the shed where our beer pong game currently waits for us to return to, my mind wondering if it will be safe going back in there when we start rising from our seats with empty plates in hand.

Not knowing why I'm suddenly fascinated with the area behind me, it suddenly smacks me in the face and I almost choke on my saliva when I make it out in the darkness against the back fence, my mind trying to convince me that it's a family member yet when they don't move to come back to the table I somehow doubt it is.

Striking the fact that the alcohol and drugs are sending me insane from my thoughts, I focus on back on having a good night and forget about what the f**k I just saw and continue to see, up until Nessa's asking me what I'm looking at in unison with my eyes witnessing the said figure dissipate into thin air.

"N-nothing I ah, alcohol is getting to my head." I squeak when in reality I'm starting to think I'm losing my mind, the intense energy returning once more for a fleeting second until disappearing for good.

"Well we can go back to the shed now, first we need to take these to the kitchen." she smiles as her eyes cast around the people rising from their seats and leaving behind their empty plates.

Noticing that mine is the only one still unfinished, I hope no one picks up on it and wonder if the angry presence I felt was because I wasn't eating the food. Either way the MD is heightening all of my senses in a bad way because it's tricking my brain into thinking all sorts of bullshit.

"Cool we can wait for the others if you want, I'm pretty sure they're still f*****g arou-"

"They can meet us inside, I'm dying for a smoke anyway." she cuts across me with a look emphasising how much she really needs the said cigarette.

"Oh alright, it is good to have one after a meal I will admit." I sigh and begin making our way towards the house.

"Oi, we will meet you inside then back out to the shed for I still wanna finish that game of beer pong." Lissa states after grabbing Nessa by the wrist and halting us from further walking.

"Oh s**t I forgot! Yeah meet us inside if you want? I forgot my smokes so we're just going up to grab them and drop these off." Nessa informs when we start slowly moving back towards the house with said plates lifted a little to show her, only to be caught in the middle of another lengthy conversation between us and her cousins.