Stellam Matutinam

A New Step

"Lilith Cain we've been looking for you." a male informs too close for comfort when I turn around and almost bump into his bright yellow vest, the more I inspect the more it dawns that it's the chest of a Police Officer.

"Wait." but that's all the burly Officer wanted to hear for my upper arm's now clamped firmly in his iron grip.

"Please you don't understand!" I beg further yet to no avail, even when I try and twist my arm free his grip only tightens painfully where I'm crying out for help.

"Oh I understand quite well." he assures me sternly whilst dragging my resisting body, tears blurring my vision and voice choking up when I try and scream for help at the people walking passed me in the train station as if nothing is happening.

"NO!" I scream then drop to the floor as my vision's ripped away.

*

"f**k!" I gasp and smack my head painfully on the tunnel's roof I forgot I was in until now, my hands rubbing sluggishly at the thumping spot before dragging myself out and coming to terms with the fact that I made it through the night.

"Alright well f**k public transport, I'm hitch hiking." I mumble to no one in particular as I start thinking up places I could hitch hike without gaining the Police's attention.

That and sort out the situation with my phone for I can't just have a phone without a sim card in it let alone turned off all the time. So wherever I end up I'll just have to buy a phone from the closest phone shop they have.

Heading to the toilet block and taking off a few layers for its quite warm today regardless if it's near the end of winter, I decide on swapping the long sleeve for a singlet and the hoodie with a different one for Dian and Ray have seen that one already, only to quickly change pants when I realise they would've seen me in those too.

Brushing my hair and teeth with the items I was able to take with me from the hospital, I give myself another spray with the perfume that was taken from my at the start of my admission at the hospital, then my roll on deodorant to keep me from smelling like a homeless person. Even if it was for one night, you'd be surprised what people pick up.

The watery sun suggest the time to be around seven though only to confirm it's actually six thirty after risking it by turning it on for a few seconds to see, so I think that maybe now is the best time to head for the bus stop and begin my journey to a new town, but it's also important I find one with a job. That's if someone will hire me, I mean not many people will hire someone without a résumé on hand let alone one filled with experience.

Deciding to cross that bridge when I get to it, my journey continues along the backstreets until spilling out onto a main road bustling with early morning traffic all hoping to beat one another so they can get to work on time, my heart beating quick when I picture a Police car driving passed me but instantly calm myself when I observe a small arse Toyota that appears to have witnessed better days.

With thoughts of maybe putting my hitch hiking skills and remembering to go somewhere not so open, I sum up that maybe the road I'm on is a perfect one for only the right amount of cars seems to be coming through, and Police don't really man roads like these. Only I just hope I'm right.

At first my hand hardly appears to be signalling a car as it trembles and sticks closely to my side, though as more minutes pass and the more exposed I feel does my hand take a mind of its own and takes over in signalling down a car.

Not sure if I should just turn back and head back the other way I came and think of another place to try, I'm about ten steps in when I hear a car slowly crunching up behind me before stopping and winding down the window, my head quick to whip behind me to see it's not a Police car but a nice Mazda6 a deep pitch black glinting in the dull sun.

"Well hey sweetheart you need a lift?" a woman around her mid-fifties offers with a beaming smile reaching her large electric blue pools.

"S-sure, I mean if that's not too much trouble?" I stutter meekly and look down at my appearance as if I came to a dinner party totally underdressed.

"Not at all honey, where are you headed?" she chuckles as I slowly start making my way to the back seat, the woman ruffling her sandy locks around and wafting her expensive perfume right my way, my nose instantly trying to see what I smell like and hope I don't reek of someone who just spent the night out on the streets.

"I um." then pause for I really don't know where I want to go.

"It's okay love, just tell us when to stop." the man driving finally speaks up and jolt at the added voice, the both chuckling at my skittishness though I have a feeling they know something happened for they aren't pushing for answers.

Taking in the lady's cream cotton sweater and dark jeans she's pulling off, I then avert my attention to the man driving who's currently stealing a glance at me through the review mirror, his amber eyes locking with mine for a split second before they're back on the road.

Wondering where they were off too for he's in a suit with the jacket next to me in the backseat, I take in more of his styled salt and pepper hair quaffed at the top and cut short around the sides and back, the man reminds me of a lawyer though when I catch more of his reflexion and notice a neatly maintained beard as well as a tattoos engulfing his semi-tanned skin from the neck down I start to reconsider.

I hope he isn't in some gang that has to do with big burley men and loud arse bikes, for who knows how this will catch up to me in the future for people like that don't just do favours for nothing, I've seen enough documentaries and movies in my time at the hospital to know that.

With scenarios of being kidnapped taking up most of my thinking time, it's only when the car stops does the thoughts turn to thoughts of escape and the couple spin in their seats to look at me with gentle smiles on their faces.

"Now we're going into the shops quickly to get something but did you want to get out here or continue your journey with us? Our town isn't for another hour and a half so the choice is yours. We will leave the car unlocked and if you're here then we know, but if you choose to go then we also know where to take you." the gentleman I still haven't gotten around to asking his name offers in a soft voice yet the boom behind it is still there.

"Thank you." is all I can manage to squeak out without breaking down in front of two complete strangers, the couple only chuckling before stepping out and leaving me to make up my mind.

Checking the time on the dashboard and noticing I've been in the car for over two hours already, I wonder exactly where the time went then realise I've spent three years in a hospital with doctors leaving me with my thoughts to pass the time, so it's something I'm bound to be a natural at by now.

"What's another hour and a half?" I ask myself as I let out a sigh and step out to have a cigarette for there's no way am I stinking up there lush car.

Puffing it down as quick as I can and rifling around in my backpack for the perfume Dian got back off the nurses keeping a safe hold of my stuff until it was the day I got to leave, happily dousing myself but not too much where I'm killing them then climb back into the car.

Another two more minutes pass and my peripherals catch two figures approaching the car, a subtle half-smile pasted on my lips when I witness the woman's eyes light up after realising I've chosen to stay.

"Good I was hoping you did." she announces on her way back in the car with a small bottle of Lemonade passed back to me.

"Thank you..." but let the sentence die in the back of my throat for I have no idea what her name is.

"Oh s**t, how could I forget? I'm Eleanor and this is my husband Jacob. I'm so sorry sweetie we got so wrapped up in making sure you're okay that we managed to leave out our names." Eleanor exclaims after spinning around in her seat to semi-gawk at me with a hand covering her mouth, though the thing I'm shocked about is the fact that she swore in front of me. You'd think someone as proper as these two wouldn't even consider using the so called gutter language.

"And who might you be dear?" Jacob laughs from the front at his wife who only blushes and turns back to face the road.

"Lilith but others call my Lil or Lilly." I squeak and think back to my life in the hospital where only a fellow patient and doctor seemed to only call me that, the rest were the full name.

"Well it's lovely to meet you Lilly, I'm just glad we got you when we did for who knows how long you would've been walking." she goes on as she fishes around in the glove compartment for something and eventually pulling out a book.

I honestly still don't know if the place I'm going to will be right for me since I don't even know the name of the town or city we're heading for, my mouth wanting to ask the question but the silence in the air's comforting enough for now since I can see for myself when I get there.

*

"Now since we're five minutes off our little town and you're probably wondering why does it seem like it's in the middle of nowhere with all of these trees and winding roads, I thought I would let you know that whatever you went through my husband and I are glad you're out of it. In saying that we have a place in mind for you to stay at while you get back on your feet and figure out your next move. I have seen a lot of trauma in my life and know how it looks on others no matter how hard they try and hide it. Not to worry about the place being so far out though, I assure you when you see what I'm on about you will love it! And if you're looking for a fresh start here it is." she finishes as we round the hundredth corner and get ready for another one, my fear in them maybe knowing about my past and me escaping my foster home put at ease when Eleanor and I share a knowing look in the review mirror, one of Jacob's hands lacing in with hers as if telling her he's there and summoning threatening tears to my eyes.

I'd kill to have someone at my side like that.

"You really don't have to do-"

"I know but we want to. If someone saw our grandchildren in your position I'd want them to do the same." Jacob intervenes with his gaze this time taking over the review mirror, a tear slipping from its restraints in time for him to turn away and focus on what's in front of him.

"Now the place you're staying at is a resort type place but with apartments you can rent out for a bit, all you have to do is head into the main office and explain your situation as well as tell them our names. They will give you a discount if you tell them that we sent you for we have a room we like to rent there from time to time, so there's no doubt you'll be getting that one." Eleanor explains further when the car approaches a sign informing us we're entering a town called Willow's Peak, a place I don't think I've ever heard of yet she wasn't wrong about the place being beautiful.

Yes there're still more trees with pine and gum making up the forest surrounding the town, stretching out as far as the eye can see everywhere I cast my gaze for a break in the thick trees, my attention averting back to the modern shops and cars plaguing a town I thought would've had f**k all to offer.

Though the further we drive the more it opens up and gives off a Harry Potter effect yet it's not with a tent, the place appearing small but the more you drive the further it dawns that there's more ground to cover and places to explore.

Wondering exactly how big this place is and why I haven't heard about it considering it looks to be like a hot travel spot with the amount of civilians bustling around in and out of shops, the roads are that full we're having now to stop every five seconds and wait for the turnoff to come up.

"See I told you, it's nice isn't it? Has a heap here to browse around at, maybe a new job if that's why you're here and you choose to stay. Anyway we have enough shops crammed in here that my grandchildren haven't left this town let alone their parent's home and they're your age." Eleanor chortles weakly then clears her throat to delve more into her grandchildren and how she has four of them, three girls and a boy who she also suggest I hang out with if I get the chance.

Wondering how I'd be even able to find them in such a big town, I only agree to humour the woman as the car comes to a stop and realise we're I think at the resort or whatever she said it is, my eyes taking in the open gated entrance at the front of the large buildings connecting in the middle by an enclosed hallway with people currently making their way through it.

The place itself is a blinding white thanks to the now not so watery sun glinting off of that and the windows to give it that blinding effect, suddenly as if waking up from a trance I'm taking that as my cue to get out the car.

"Thank you again for all of your help, you have no idea how much you have done for me." I half-smile genuinely for the first time in what feels like ages since this one I didn't have to force out, I'm actually grateful for it and I think they know that.

"Our pleasure Lilly we're glad we could help, now don't be a stranger if you see us down the street or somewhere in the town, come and say hi for we would love to see how you've been travelling." Jacob insists with my hand on the door readying to close it so I can take my next step in getting my s**t together.

Now it's just making it pass reception hoping the Police haven't gotten word to them yet about my situation and the foster parent's bullshit lies they're using to get me back. Both of them fearing what else I might say for it made them stay up on some nights wondering if they will get caught, busted for neglecting the fact that their psychotic daughter was molesting me under their roof ever since they got me in their custody.

I was eleven when it all started, nineteen when they admitted me into the hospital for they couldn't keep me locked up in their home no matter how hard they tried, and twenty-two when I was released. It's actually my birthday on Halloween, a month before my birthday and all the traumatic memories I've copped each birthday don't let up no matter how much I think I have a grips on them.

"I will trust me, again thank you heaps and have a good afternoon."

"You too, darling goodbye."

"Goodbye Lilly."

"Bye Eleanor, see ya Jacob have a safe trip!"

With that I close the door and start my dreaded walk to a new life and also the reception to check in or whatever they say, a meek sigh sounding in the back of my throat after doing a once over and deeming myself too poor to rent this place, only to confirm my anxieties when the stares I cop off a few people make me cringe and bite my tongue.

Noticing the car parks all around me inside the gated area full and happen to be reserved for people who rent rooms in this place, I don't miss how expensive each car I walk past is and wonder if they can smell the poorness of me seeping out of my pores as we speak.

"Yes?" a young lady chirps from behind a long polished desk high enough to hide her hands, her faire ginger locks hanging dead straight down passed her shoulders with a light dusting of freckles across her paper white nose.

Dressed in a black blazer displaying the place's name on the left breast pocket, white button up collared shirt and red tie to verify the place I'm planning on renting is an apartment for those who have money, all I have is close to two grand but even then who knows how much is cheap in Eleanor and Jacob's eyes.

Hoping I've brought enough with me I explain my situation tainted with white lies to the girl who I'm catching the name on her nametag as Natalie on a quick glance to check the time on the clock above her head on the wall behind her, the girl punching in a few things on her keyboard and giving me time to take in the large area a bit more while I wait.

That and take in the fact that I gave her a false name after not being asked for I.D, as if the couple that brought me here were enough identification for them since she didn't press much once I told her their names.

Like the outside the interior is just as piercing with bone white walls, brownish grey carpet matching with the large polished timber desk Natalie's behind trying to look up the said room I was given by the couple, and fancy arse low hanging lights that burn your eyes out the second you stare at it.

To go with the interior more hues of taupe make up the seating dotted at the back of the place, the cushions appearing soft to the touch though I'd hate to feel the leather in summer, my thoughts are immediately distracted when Natalie gets my attention by reading out the total of my rent each week followed by the key being placed on the desk for the taking.

"Thank you again for everything." I smile as polite I can without seeming too fake when she's finished adding on that I'll be able to grab milk and whatnot also here at the front desk, for they have the supplies though she suggests I go down the street for it's cheaper.

Scouting the area I find the elevator I need to take by walking for thirty seconds or more across the large space semi-filled with people either making bookings, checking out or simply making their way down so they can hit the town.

Needing to take two elevators seeing as how I'm in the left apartment complex, I start with the first elevator ride to the middle floor where I give the view over Willow's peak a quick glimpse over before I'm in another one on the opposite side to the one I just stepped out of.

It's quite a large yet long stretch of space drowned by the mid-afternoon sun and highlighting the hazel brown in the grey carpet I noticed they have downstairs in the reception area, though it doesn't take me long to count four doors all labelled STAFF ONLY, two staff rooms on each ends of this large arse hallway I'm finding it hard to pull my gaze away from the view it has to offer.

Call it me being free and wanting to admire every single little thing, but the view that's spread out before me and how the golden sun is beating down over the mixed green hue I'm still working out whether it's a forest or woods I'm hiding myself in, it's honestly a breath taking place regardless of why I came here in the first place.

Eventually I find my way to the second last elevator I need to take after what feels like ten minutes of walking and lugging around my semi-heavy bag containing my whole life in it, something I wish I could cry about now but I'm more focused on getting to the safety of my apartment.