Entrapped

Chapter 27.

It was a little before dawn, the sky was still dark out there as the sun was yet to come out to swallow up the darkness. She was wide awake, and could not fall asleep for some reason. She was laying naked under the sheets with her hand folded above her head and eyes fixed on that white ceiling above it as she stared into nothingness.

Xavier was sleeping on his stomach and the steady intake of breaths clearly indicated that he was in a peaceful slumber, away from this cruel reality he had created for the woman beside him.

A wave of wind swept in that made all the trees in the garden rub against each other that resulted in a loud scary noise and that sound invaded the trance of thought she was in and turned her head to her left where there was a glass window that opened up to a spacious balcony.

She sat up and put her legs on the floor and quietly slipped out of the covers and picked up the silk robe she was wearing and wrapped it around her body to cover her nakedness. She looked back at the bed and glanced at him who was sleeping peacefully after getting intimate and sharing hours of passion with her.

It was their third night together and he had never initiated anything s****l first, it was always her who would take the initiative because apparently the most he would do was hug her and kiss her, never beyond anything that unless she manipulated him to continue.

She hated him, she hated his touch but it was also true that while getting engaged with him in a s****l i*********e, she seemed to forget the constant ache of heartbreak and the constant nagging of her mind. Her body just tended to enjoy the s****l attention she was given and the pleasure that derived out of that attention and he was very good in bed. It was the only time where she could block everything out and push aside the haunted memories of past but yet she hated it, she hated his touch and it always made her disgusted of herself to think that she had really sold her soul and had become an undignified woman who was using her body for revenge and inner peace.

She tore away her gaze from his sleeping figure and walked towards the window and slowly slid it open to make sure that she was not making any sound that could disturb him and wake him up because she was in no condition to act or to pretend, she needed some time for herself so that she could pull herself together and present a happy Tiara to him in the morning.

She stepped out on the balcony and leaned on the railings, she felt a cold breeze grazing against her skin and it made her shiver lightly, her loose and dangled hair danced along with the wave of wind and she found it calming despite feeling a little cold out in here.

She smiled when another breeze rushed past her but her eyes remained hollow, reflecting what she was actually feeling from inside. She gazed at the beautiful island that she had named, Cascara covered with the blanket of darkness and listened to the loud sound of waves hitting the sea shore mercilessly.

Tiara had not named this island Cascara because she loved the sea shells, she chose that name because it represented her metaphorically. A sea shell that was so pretty from outside but was utterly hollow from inside and she was just like them, a person people would think was alive but in reality her body was soulless, like an empty can.

The balcony their room had was quite big, it had a white rectangular swing on one side while the other was occupied by the coffee table and two chairs of the same color. The balcony also had some fake plan on each corner to make the place more cozy and she was not surprised to find out that everything was of her liking.

She sat down on the swing that was so soft against her body as it was covered by the pillows and mattress. She pulled her knees together and pressed them together against her chest. She wrapped her arms around her knees, hugging herself. She rested her head above her knees and sat there for a while, looking far away enjoying the calmness the dark night was giving her.

Her eyes started to ache and eyelids tend to turn heavy and she found herself feeling sleepy, getting tired and she finally drifted off to the only land she could escape from the cruel reality and slept out there in the same position.

Xavier stirred a little in his sleep when he felt the heavy sunlight falling straight on his face and stretched his hand for Tiara, intending to pull her closer and sleep more by hugging her close but frowned a little when his hand met the empty side of bed.

He groaned in his sleep and shifted closer to her side hoping to find her sleeping body but he was met with the nothing but sheets. He shifted himself more in that half asleep state and stretched his arm out but it dangled off the bed that had him shaking and he opened his eyes immediately.

Xavier who was sleeping peacefully was having a beautiful dream of her in which they were on a sea shore and she was laughing and giggling while running away from him and asking him to catch her and he reached for her in his sleep and panicked when he saw her going far away from him.

He woke with the fear of losing her, afraid that all of it might be a beautiful dream he had seen and when he found her side empty, he felt like he had been dragged back to past where he used to have these kinds of dreams often while in reality she was away, starting a new life with Mason.

Xavier would not raise out his insecurity but deep down in his heart he knew he had developed this fear in his heart that one day he might lose Tiara and she would choose somebody else over him and even the thought of him frightened him to core because his wounded heart would not be able to take another blow of betrayal, it might stop this time.

He looked around the room with uncertain eyes, not understanding why he was still so anxious. Everything was really going fine and they were happy then why could not he just throw this fear out of his heart. He wanted to do that, he had promised her that he would trust her and he really did but there was a part of him that kept warning him. Perhaps, it was his wounded heart that was too afraid but he did not want his insecurity to come between them and ruin everything.

He hopped out of the bed, throwing the sheets away. He walked up to the bathroom and stood outside and knocked lightly on the door but heard no sound from in there that clearly indicated that she was not inside.

He frowned and turned around contemplating where she could have gone and decided to look for her in the kitchen but his eyes caught the glass window that was opened and he clearly remembered closing it before going to sleep and strolled towards it.

He stepped on the balcony and a cool breeze went past him, caressing his abs and toned body. His eyes spotted a sleeping figure on the swing and he smiled at that sight. She was sleeping in a sitting position, hugging herself tightly.

He moved towards her and crouched down near her sleeping figure and looked at her beautiful face, her blonde hair were shining under the effect of sun rays and he slowly traced his finger from her temple to her chin feeling the softness of her skin and shook his hand and stood up, he picked her up in his arms gently and took her inside the bedroom and placed her on bed. He closed the window and shut down all the curtains, preventing sun rays from entering the bedroom.

He went to bed, pulled her closer by her waist and covered them with sheets and slept peacefully hugging her tightly in his arms.

It was eleven when Tiara woke up from a comfortable slumber, she groaned rubbing her eyes with the back of her hands and felt his strong arm around her waist keeping her in place when she attempted to get out of the bed.

Xavier also woke up when he felt her moving and pulled her body more closer, her back was pressed against his naked chest and he nuzzled her hair with his nose, “good morning,” he whispered in his raspy morning voice which was deeply intense and sounded so sexy.

“g-good morning, ahh,” she moaned when she felt him kissing the backside of her ear, “X-Xavier!” she took in a deep breath when his lips trailed down towards her jaw making it difficult for her to shutter.

“why do you smell so good, Tiara?” her natural smell invaded his nostrils making him even more addicted to her. Everything about her was so enchanting that it was always impossible for him to resist.

She moved her left hand and covered his mouth and nose with it as she turned slowly to face him, “I was all sweaty last night,” she opposed , there was no way she could be smelling good at that moment. She was sure that the cologne she had used the other day must have worn out by now and on top of that she sweated a lot last night when she reached her high and orgasmed like three times.

Xavier chuckled and she felt his lips twitching in a smile against her hand as he looked at her with fondness in his eyes. He held her hand that was covering his mouth and took it off, staring into her eyes he gave her a sweet smile, “you always smell good to me,” he exclaimed because to him she always smelt like caramel and that divine smell just drives him crazy.

“you are whipped, aren’t you?” she thought and even before she could realize she said that out loud.

Xavier was not even fazed by her remark and kept smiling at her, “yes I am but only for you,” he claimed and hugged her more tightly, “I love you so much, Tiara.”

She hummed in response and held his hand that was wrapped around her waist and gave it a light squeeze, “Xavier, how does it feel?” she questioned suddenly and he looked at her with confusion, unable to understand what she was talking about, “how does it feel not to be loved by that one person you love the most?” Tiara had no idea why she asked that question but since she had already asked him then she was curious to know his answer.

Xavier stilled, his whole body froze upon hearing that question and his grip around her waist loosened a little bit and he visibly gulped a non-existent lump, his adam apple clearly showing the said movement.

He did not know why she had asked that question out of nowhere and he did not know how to respond to that, so he contemplated hard in his mind to find a suitable answer. He could not really tell her the truth that it hurt him and nor could he lie about it.

“tell me the truth.” She demanded softly, she knew by one look on his face that he was trying to articulate his words and she did not want that, she wanted the raw truth.

He closed his eyes and let out a dejected sigh as he decided to tell her the truth, he had to be honest with her and this was what she wanted; truth, so be it.

“It’s the most defeating feeling, Tiara. A one where you constantly blame yourself for not doing enough, for not making enough efforts.” She could clearly hear the pain in his voice, “It’s a feeling that pierce your heart every day and turns your mind that wants to break free from that constant agony of being in one sided love against your heart.” He chuckled, a painful one as he reminisced those moments where he had thoroughly felt that pain, “you found yourself fighting a war within yourself everyday but in the end, it’s always the heart that wins. It is always filled with this positive feeling that maybe tomorrow would be the day when the other person would return the feelings he has and just like that thousands of tomorrow would pass with all those efforts and it hurt even more when you found yourself standing right there where you have started from.” He exclaimed, his eyes gazing at the white ceiling above him with a distant look.

“if it’s that painful then why doesn't one let his mind win?” she did and now she understood why, it could save you from pain.

He shook his head at her and sighed loudly, “that’s impossible, if you love a person then it’s always the heart that compels you. All a mind can do is argue and mock but it could never stop your heart from chasing the person you love, it’s the power of true love.”

She found herself agreeing with him, she had been in love and she knew what he had said was hundred percent true. Her mind knew from the beginning that she should not fall in love and yet she was drawn to Mason like a moth to fire. She knew what would be the consequences for betraying Xavier and yet she did what her heart wanted her to do. She went against her mind and gave in to her heart.

She knew a path chosen by heart could be dangerous while a path chosen by mind could help you to have a safe ride in a bumpy path of emotions. She fought against her mind and let her heart win but time, she had no reason to fight against her mind because she would be dead the moment she would listen to her heart and she wanted to live, at least for a little while.