FALLING FOR MY BULLY.

Myra. "No, please stop. It hurts, please!" I cry out. The hands I'm pleading to don't stop. He drags me deeper into the darkness instead. I try to fight him, to cry out for help. "Nathan please. I'll do as you say. I promise I won't tell anyone. Just please stop," I try to get out of his hold. Tears run down my face to a point that I can't see anymore."I'm scared," I tell him. My pleas fall on deaf ears as his hold on me tightens. He's a lot more angry than he usually is. I can feel his impatience as he pulls me further along with him. "f**k, Myra, stop struggling. We're almost there." "No, please...I don't want this." "You're really stubborn, aren't you? You think all these tears and pleading will stop me from having you?" "Myra! Myra! Jesus Christ, wake up. You're scaring the hell out of me!" I feel someone shaking my shoulder and I'm pulled out of the nightmare. The darkness, the pain; it all stops. I open my eyes, finding my cousin standing besides me with a worried look on her face. "I'm sorry," I whisper the words softly. I'm still sleepy, drained from my dreams. Did she hear everything? "Myra, what's wrong? You haven't been yourself lately. And the nightmares..." Jade sits next to me and I shift to make more room for her. I look down at my arm. The arm he grabbed in my dreams. I can't tell anyone how real these nightmares are when no one is watching. Especially Jade. I've already taken so much of her space, it wouldn't be fair to bother her with my problems. "You know you can talk to me about anything, right?" Jade reaches out her hand to touch me, trailing it down my arm. I look up at my cousin. She's so much different from me. Beautiful, brave. All the things I wish I could be. Will things be different if I tell her? Maybe she could talk to my aunt and convince her to let me change schools. I'd be away from him. Safe. I shake my head when I think about what he said. His hatred for me seething through his teeth. Maybe he's right. Maybe no one cares about me. No one can protect me from him. Jade sighs and says, "Is he bullying you, Myra? Nathan? I mean, is Nathan bullying you? That's the name you called out your dreams." "No," I shake my head. I try not to look her in the eye just in case she can tell that I'm lying. She doesn't need to know about this. "Maybe mom needs to go to your school. Have a talk with your teachers or this Nathan guy. I'm worried about you, sweets. Since Nona died and you came here to stay with us, you're so timid." "I...I'm fine." I don't want to cause any more trouble. It's surprising that Jade is so nice to me. I've always thought that she doesn't like me since she's forced to share her bedroom with me because my aunt was forced to take me in after Nona's death. She sighs again. Probably because she's more sleepy than bored. "We're family, sweets. Anything that makes you unhappy, you say it, okay?" I nod my head, a shy smile forming on my lips. "I know it doesn't seem like it, but mom does give a f**k about you. Don't hold back on us, Myra." Jade moves to check the time on her phone. "Ah s**t! It's morning already. Get some sleep, sweets. There's school in a couple of hours." She switches off the light and I lie down. I shut my eyes and try to imagine that time stops and I never have to wake up. "Jade?" "Hhm?" "I... Goodnight. Thank you." Even in the darkness I can easily tell she's rolling her eyes. "You don't have to thank me for being concerned about you, sweets. Go to sleep." I sigh into the cold night. Praying that the nightmares never returns. •••• "Get the f**k off my face!" "Mom! Jade just swore at me!" Jason yells. "Jesus! Can you two be civil for two minutes this morning while I try to find your dad's tie?" I can hear my aunt heaving from her room. All the morning's frustration and trying to make sure that everyone eats breakfast before leaving. I clear the dishes from the table to the sink. I try to help out because I know Jade hates washing dishes more than anything. I look at the clock. If I hurry up, I'll be able to catch the 07:30 bus. My aunt's husband rushes down the stairs with my aunt behind him. "Thanks babe. This one's for good luck." He places a kiss on her cheek and she smiles. "Oh Myra, thank you for the dishes." Her hand rests on her petite figure as she turns her attention to Jade. "I thought we talked about your foul mouth." Before Jade answers, aunt Maya calls out to uncle Luke. "Babe..." He turns around, and there's something shared between them that none of us can understand. "I almost forgot," he says. "Jason? Baby, get your things. You're riding with dad to school today." My cousin runs to his bag. I finish up with the dishes, getting ready to leave too. "Myra, you're with me today." "Aunt Maya, I--I still have my bus tag." I remind her. She doesn't have to get out of her way to drop me off at school. "I know, sweetie," she pauses. "I'm taking you to school today. I need to have a little talk with your teachers." She fills her bag with her phone and other things. Jade stares at me and it feels something has struck my body, making it numb. "Grab your bag. We don't wanna be late, do we?" •••• I've been listening to my aunt humming a tune for the last three minutes as we drive through the familiar roads to school. She suddenly brakes out of nowhere, pulling down her window. "What the hell?! Hey, f**k you asshole!" She yells to the car in front of her. I gasp. Aunt Maya is one of the sweetest people I know. This is why I'm always surprised when she swears. "i***t," she huffs. We continue driving down the traffic in silence. I pretend that I'm fascinated with the trees and people we keep passing, but I can still feel her eyes on me now and then. We're getting close. Will she found out? He told me he'd hurt me if I told anyone. "Jade's worried about you; you know? She told me about the nightmares." There's silence between us. I open my mouth but the words don't come out. "Sweetie, please talk to me. Is there something wrong at school?" I shake my head, "Everything's fine." "Are you sure? Jade says you might be bullied. If you are, Myra, you should tell me." "I'm not being bullied, aunt Maya." "Then what's wrong? I know you've always been a little quiet, but it's worse lately." She pulls over when she finds a parking spot. "Baby, listen..." She holds my hand within hers. It feels so warm. For a moment I think that everything will be fine if I tell her. I don't want to be here. I don't want to feel his hand touching the most intimate part of my body. I don't... I don't want to be afraid anymore. "I know it's just been a few months, but I really care about you, Myra. I promised mom I'd take of you. You don't have to be afraid of me. I need you to trust me. I want to protect you, sweetheart. " "I'm not afraid of you, aunt Maya. I...I'm sorry for making everyone worry about me. But everything's fine. I'm not...I'm not being bullied." She studies me for a moment. The bell rings when she's about to say something. "I...I don't wanna be late for class." I grab my bag, hoping that this conversation is over. It doesn't take long for my aunt to find my class teacher and I get settled into my first class. It's going to be okay, Myra. Maybe it's all going to be over soon.