Deviant Ardor

[Ocher / Second Autumn 2028] [Devilry city; Black Thorn manor] Imani let themselves get lost in the view of the rain-soaked garden that lay beyond the window. Blindsided by the approach of their cousin, Imani jumped at the sudden pull of their hair from behind. “Ow! Damn it, Aniyah!” Aniyah scoffed as she came around her cousin’s side, sneering as she gave Imani a good once-over while still maintaining her hold on their hair. With her cousin at her mercy, Aniyah twisted the lock of hair around her finger one more time to reinforce her hold. “What?” Imani hissed, seeing the judgement in their cousin’s expression. “What are you looking at?” “You,” Aniyah said simply, keeping her voice low. Her words were smooth and collected as she spoke them. “That’s what I’m staring at. With your hair styled like that, you look more like a boy than ever.” “So?” “So? Could you be any more of a disappointment? It’s bad enough you’re the bastard of a w***e, but then you go around dressed like this!” Their frown deepening, Imani reached to unwind their hair from Aniyah’s finger, tightening their jaw as they returned their focus to the window. Irritated, Aniyah folded her arms across her chest. “Androgyny isn’t a lifestyle, you know. You can’t keep going back and forth. It’s confusing. And it doesn’t look good for our family.” With a smirk on her lips, Aniyah raised a hand into Imani’s line of sight and moved her fingers like cutting scissors. “Sip-snip. Our grandparents are, oh, so willing to fund the correction of your mistake. Supportive son, or doting daughter. Which one feels more–you, do you think? ‘Course, no matter what you choose, you won’t be able to give them the great-grandchildren that they want.” Wincing from their cousin’s words, Imani pulled back from the window and Aniyah, who was still disrupting their line of sight. “I don’t care. I don’t want kids. And I don’t want to get married, either. I don’t want any of that.” Rolling her eyes, Aniyah leaned her shoulder against the wall between the windows. “Why do you insist on staying a disappointment?” She scoffed, her smirk returning. “Daddy says it’s all been settled anyway. That they’ve already picked a surgeon for you. And I hear he’s really reputable!” “Stop it, Aniyah…” “Why? It’s the truth, after all. Daddy says it’s only a matter of time… Snip-snip, ideal daughter. Or, snip-snip, perfect son.” “Shut up, Aniyah!” Laughing quietly, Aniyah twisted a lock of her own, dark hair around her finger now. “Fifteen years... Your time’s almost up, you only have three years left. Though, I agree with daddy, I think they should make you choose now. It’s embarrassing seeing you in dresses one day, and in suits another. I think it’s childish and selfish of you to keep acting like this.” Pushing the tips of their fingers into their ears, Imani struggled to block their cousin out. But even then they could still see her, the smirk across her lips and the twinkle in her eyes. Then came the boom. Hard enough for Imani to feel it rattle the air between Aniyah and themselves. It made Imani jump, and was strong enough to put a stop to Aniyah’s taunting. Imani was shocked to find their Aniyah’s brother Kaius standing between them, his knuckles thrust hard against the wall only inches over Aniyah’s head. “Lay. Off.” He spoke the words quietly. Simply. His cold gaze never wavered in their hold over Aniyah. It wasn’t until she scoffed and walked away that Kaius eased and turned his attention on Imani. “You okay?” Imani nodded without looking up at him. Kaius sighed as he diverted his focus to the window, not wanting to make Imani any more uncomfortable than they already were. Choosing silence, Kaius started to walk away. “Kai, wait!” Imani waited until Kaius was facing them again before they started forward. Once to him, Imani hugged their cousin tight around his waist. Kaius took in a long, slow breath, and exhaled it just as slowly before he lifted his hand to rest atop his cousin’s head, pushing slightly at the top-knot that held up half of Imani’s hair. “Unlike my sister, I care if things are difficult for you. I don’t want them to be, but I also can’t imagine how you feel on a day-to-day basis just going through life.” he sighed. “Aniyah was wrong to call you a disappointment. And she shouldn’t have said those other things, either. But, I want to–I have to ask, wouldn’t you want your life to be easier, even a little easier, if it could be?” Imani was quiet for a long time, keeping a tight hold on Kaius as they heard him out. “But, what if I’m not happy with easy?” Biting the inside of their bottom lip, Imani struggled with the thought of arguing with their cousin. They listened to the sounds of the party going on across the hall; soft but lively music being played amidst the occasional chime of clinking glasses and casual conversation. “What the family wants and expects of me, you know that’s not me. A family of my own, adding to our families name…” “Imani…” Imani shook their head, still holding onto their cousin. “They don’t understand me, Kai. They don’t even want to try. Just like how they didn’t want to try with my mom.” With a weak smile, Imani looked up at Kaius. “It confounds them to hear that I’m happy the way I am. Truly! I don’t want to change, not a thing. And I don’t know what kind of life I want for myself, but, I have to be able to go out and find it.” Kai grimaced, seeing the sincerity in his cousin’s smile and hearing the honesty in their words. “I know my father doesn’t make the kindest argument, but, he means well. He only wants what’s good for you–what’s good for the family.” Imani’s face fell, and they averted their eyes as they were slow to let their cousin go. Family. It was the biggest, unwavering obstacle in Imani’s way. Imani was silent while they contemplated that fact. “Kai… Would you love me more if I chose?” It was Kaius’s turn to be silent for a while now, his eyes searching down the length of the hall, then across it into the lavish party filled with guests. He considered everything around them before speaking again. “I wouldn’t love you any more or any less, no matter what you chose.” He sighed before meeting his Imani’s eyes again. “You know you’ve always been like a sibling to me. And, whether you were my brother, or my sister, I’d love you no matter what.” Smiling weakly, Kaius slightly bent to kiss Imani’s brow. Frowning slightly, Imani took a small step back. They understood. Excusing himself, Kaius left Imani alone, taking himself back into the party with relative ease. Stealing a last look into the party, they watched after Kaius until he’d completely disappeared. And it wasn’t until he was well and truly gone that Imani turned to push open the door leading out to the terrace, deciding on a walk through the gardens in the hopes that the quiet and the air would do them good. Once out and in the open, Imani breathed in deep, never realizing until now just how suffocated they had felt inside. Walking the gardens, Imani following the path as it cut through the meticulously manicured shrubbery that burned with bright autumn blossoms that glistened from the freshly fallen rain. As Imani walked, they passed by other guests of the party come to admire the gardens; individuals of all colors and creed, as well as a number of lovers, young and old. But it was as one young couple in particular crossed their path that Imani suddenly found themselves entranced and at attention. Tempted by their liveliness, Imani stopped to watch the pair with a charmed curiosity. The way they whispered sweet nothing's into each other’s ears, and how careful fingers gave discrete, secret touches, it fascinated Imani how they would almost swear that they could feel, hear, and sense all of what the couple was feeling and sensing. All at once, it was startling and exciting, and Imani’s heart raced from the thrill. Imani wanted more. Not wanting to be caught spying, Imani casually strolled past the lovers, only to stop mid-step as, to their surprise, Imani found that they could feel the young woman’s passion as it radiated from her body and lashed out at them like a solar flair, striking their chest and heating their heart until they were sure they could feel the woman’s excitement as if it were their own. It was a strange and exciting sensation, one that Imani could never seem to put into words, but enjoyed nevertheless. That feeling of a stranger’s desire in bloom, it was a sensation that Imani found a silent job. What was better, however, was that the young couple weren’t the only ones. Further down the path, there was a solitary man, who, as he plucked an autumn blossom, unwarranted, from the garden, his heart raced from his guilty pleasure. A deeply rooted pleasure that only grew as he pulled the blossom along his cheek and down his neck until it stopped at the collar of his suit. Having stopped to take in the sensation of this man, Imani shivered as they felt the phantom tickle of the blossom along their own neck, and the shared, deep rhythm it brought to the man’s pulse. It wasn’t until the man turned half a step that he spotted Imani and gasped, realizing, abashedly, that he wasn’t alone. Imani blinked repeatedly to clear the fog from their head. “I–I’m sorry,” they stammered, still caught up by the pulsing warmth that once again heated their chest, and caused their fingertips to tingle. Balling their fingers into fists at their side, Imani fought their compulsion to reach out to the man. “I didn’t mean to spy. I was just– I’m sorry.” The man smiled as he relaxed. “It’s alright.” Taking a step towards Imani, he was gentle in the way that he carefully tucked the blossom into Imani’s hair; the burning bright orange like a spark of fire against Imani’s black hair. Letting go of the flower, the man tenderly cradled Imani’s cheek in his palm as his lips kissed their other cheek. “It’s a beautiful party, isn’t it?” Imani nodded slowly, speechless. He was so warm! Warm in the same way that the young lovers had been. “I should get back… Excuse me.” Still stricken by his fluttering heat, Imani watched him as he went. Dejected, Imani wanted nothing more than to explore that unexplored heat again. With the man gone, Imani put their hand to their chest to better help calm their racing heart. There was an almost freeing feeling to the sensations that came along with this particular heat that always begin in Imani’s chest. A little scary at first, but would quickly melt into something incredible, teasing, all the while, a taste of addiction. It was intoxicating. Even still, unsure of what exactly had triggered it in the first place, Imani worried that they wouldn’t be able to tap into such an intensity again on their own. Lost in a daze, Imani didn’t come around again until they found themselves at the end of the garden path and standing before a blooming archway. Much like a beautiful open door, it stood in stark contrast to the dark and ominous woods that lay beyond. There was nowhere else for Imani to go from here, except back the way they came. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Surprised by the sudden company, Imani turned their attention to the owner of the voice. “What?” “The woods. They can be so entrancing in the dark, don’t you think?” From where she was sitting, the woman struck an imposing figure, even in the dark. She was tall, long and slim, seeming, to Imani, more like an avant-garde caricature from an artist's dream than the tangible woman that she was. Imani’s admiration of her was instantaneous. “There’s something alluring about the dark unknown,” the woman went on, her eyes never straying from the treeline. “But, it is often the dark and alluring things that are the most dangerous.” Looking back towards the woods, Imani felt their heart tighten in their chest. “It’s always hard to imagine the outcome of things without being able to see what lies on the other side,” the woman said in a deep and dreamy tone, seemingly speaking her intrusive thoughts out loud. She then smiled as she looked at Imani from the corner of her eye. “But, what’s true freedom without first making a daring escape?” “Escape?” Imani echoed. “I don’t–I mean, I just came out here to…” Imani sighed heavily, their shoulders slumping. “Is it really that obvious?” Her long and elegant fingers touching at the empty space beside her, the woman invited Imani to take a seat next to her. She waited until Imani was seated and as relaxed as they could possibly be before speaking again. “I won’t pretend to know what’s going on in your young mind, but, you appear as if you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.” She sighed. “Of course…compelled as you might feel to escape whatever ails you now, I would advise you to not be hasty, most especially eyeing those woods the way you are. You’re young, and all that you know of the deep woods are stories. Assumed half-truths. But, I assure you, everything that you’ve ever been told about these fabled woods, every word of it, is true. There are creatures in there that hide in the dark; cruel and unforgiving things.” Imani swallowed hard. “Why are you telling me all of this?” “Because, you look as if you’re about to do something foolish.” “Foolish?” The woman nodded with a skeptical smile. “Yes. If not outright stupid.” Imani couldn’t help but smile themselves. “But not deadly?” “There are fates much worse than death, my darling.” Imani’s eyes stayed trained on the treeline, in particular the last of the leaves that gently swayed and turned in the cool night breeze. From here, it almost looked inviting and wondrous, while offering a promise of a grand adventure. Taking a deep breath, Imani got up from the bench and walked until they could take their first few steps off the preset path and start into the lawn towards the trees. However, it was only after a few steps that they stopped. “But, what’s on the other side, do you think?” Wanting to see the woman’s expression as she’d answer, Imani turned about again, only to find the woman gone. Accepting that they’d been left to their own decisions, Imani turned back towards the treeline, clenched their jaw, and charged forward through the grass. Ears ringing, Imani was deaf to whether anyone was trying to call them back. Not even the sound of the grass bending and flattening beneath the soles of their shoes could reach their ringing ears. The only sound that rang louder was the deafening drum of their heart in their chest, that they clutched at in vain to stop the drumming from the outside. The exhilaration of freedom and fear, it was almost too much to bear. Though, it wasn’t so much that Imani felt compelled to turn back. Crossing the threshold of the treeline, Imani felt a sudden wrench to their stomach as the air changed instantaneously. There in the woods, everything smelled so fresh, so new, and alive! Only a few steps in, and it all felt like a whole new world. Now at the mercy of the woods, Imani walked slowly, and cautiously, even stopping to listen to all the subtle sounds. And it was as they listened that they could hear the song played by the wind that blew through the leaves. And as it blew past their ear, it called for Imani to venture deeper still. Entranced by the soft echo of the song of the woods, Imani moved slowly through the underbrush, thoughtlessly following after the voice that called to them through the trees. Curiously, the deeper they ventured in, the colder the air became, the once pleasant autumn air now so frigid that it stole the breath from their lungs and froze it, while, beneath their feet, the icy foliage cracked and snapped from the sudden, bitter cold. Another few steps, and Imani watched as the forest frosted over before their very eyes. In just a matter of moments, everything around them was a winter wonderland, dusted with flurries that danced through the branches of the trees. Their eyes wide, Imani was bewitched by the frost and flurries that coated the trees like frosting. “Oh! But where did you come from?” Startled, Imani spun around, directly into the chilling hands of a woman who wore a beautifully haunting smile. Through the glittering dark, Imani took the striking sight of the woman in, perplexed that they couldn’t tell where the woman’s snow-white skin ended and her moon-white hair began. The only break about her pallor that Imani could discern was the black mask that covered the bridge of the woman’s nose and concealed her eyes, its shape sharp on all its ends, and extending up like a crown of obsidian ice. To put Imani at ease, the woman lifted a delicate hand to caress their cheek, pacifyingly clicking their tongue as they watched Imani shiver at her cool but gentle touch as she let her fingers glide over Imani’s shoulder and through their hair, easily loosing it from the tie that had kept it half up. Gradually, Imani became aware of the kiss of the cold. “I–I think I’m lost,” they stammered, their teeth beginning to chatter as the woman leaned in to touch her cold lips to the lobe of their ear. The woman whispered, “Where are you trying to go?” “Away. Far away. Somewhere where nobody knows me.” “But I don’t know you!” said the woman as she drew back to look into Imani’s eyes. She smiled without parting her coal-black lips. “I’ve never seen you through these parts before. And, if all you want is to be somewhere you aren’t known, then you’ve succeeded. Thus, you aren’t lost.” Imani gasped as a core-shaking shiver overtook them. “But I can’t stay here.” “Why not?” Frowning, they shook their head. “I need to go–somewhere.” “Where?” “I–don’t know…” Imani tried to think. To figure out where they could go, or what they were meant to do. Another shiver, and Imani wrapped their arms around themselves, trying to retain what warmth they still had left. “You poor thing,” purred the woman as she wrapped her bare arms around Imani. “Stay with me then,” she beckoned. “Let me keep and care for you.” She kept her voice soft and reassuring, reaching up with black-tipped nails to trace the outlines of Imani’s trembling lips. “You shouldn’t be out here alone.”  Imani’s head was swimming as they watched the woman, unblinking. They wanted to refuse the woman’s proposal, to pull themselves away and move on, but everything within them was frozen. As the woman pushed into Imani again, she let the tip of her nose, sharp and cold from the mask, run up the length of Imani’s neck as she drank in the scent of them, along with that residual trace of warmth that still pulsed through their veins. “Everything you could ever want and dream of. I can give that to you, and I will. Safety. Security. Just say the word and it’ll all be yours. I’ll be yours… And you will be mine, alone.” Managing the smallest shake of their head, Imani opened their mouth to vocalize their protest, only to be stopped by the woman as she was quick to stop and capture it with her kiss. “Say you’ll be mine,” she breathed, speaking as she kissed. “Stay… Promise yourself to me.” Gradually, her lips began to migrate, leaving Imani’s lips as she sought out the flesh of their neck. “So warm,” she crooned, almost breathless. “And only growing warmer still… How extraordinary!” Parting her lips further, the woman opened her mouth enough to take in enough of Imani’s neck to bite, greedily, but cleanly, pulling blood from them by the mouthful. From head to toe, Imani’s body was wracked with tremors, in shock from the sudden bite and the cold. They gasped and felt themselves swoon, though, strangely, they didn’t feel themselves fall. It was only as their eyes cleared that they found themselves staring into the rich, dark eyes of the woman, her mask gone. “Say yes. Just one small and insignificant word. And you’ll want for nothing else ever again. Please.” Looking into the cold angel’s eyes, Imani felt a pull to search deeper, to look behind the darkness of their rich color, and into the deepest depths where the light of her soul shown in secret. And it was as Imani found that light that they also found a sorrow. A sorrow so deep that it had pushed a being so beautiful to beg like a pauper. To Imani’s surprise, their body seemed to respond to this despair, heating their body and radiating to draw the woman into the all consuming heat. She was–lonely. Quiet and mournful, her soul cried out to Imani ‘Stay with me… Let me be your happily ever after!’ Despite their shivering, Imani reached to wrap their arms around the woman in return, drawing her in even closer still as they held her to comfort her. “Are things really as lonesome as all that? Is there really no one else? That you would have to look and lure from out here?” Trembling herself now, the woman clung tighter to Imani, as if they were life. Imani sighed, still shivering, but didn’t let go. “I’m sorry,” they began, slowly finding their voice. “But I can’t stay. This place…this cold… I can’t.” Drawing back, the woman frowned as she pushed Imani back to arm's length. “No?” “I’m sorry.” Her fury was sudden, and cold. “How dare you be so cruel, and so selfish.” Just out of sight, she raised her foot beneath her dress and stomped it back down with such force as to make the world fall away beneath Imani, sending them sprawling backwards. Eyes wide, Imani watched as the vision of a woman fell away from them. They watched until their back crashed into the splintered ice beneath their feet, through the shattered pieces and into the dark and freezing waters that swallowed them into a suffocation from which there was no escape. It was only after their initial shock had passed that Imani began to struggle against the cold suffocation. They kicked their feet to propel themselves back towards the surface, and thrust the heel of their hand against the ice that had already begun to refreeze over the water’s surface. Imani pushed and punched until they finally felt themselves break free. Shaking so hard that they hurt, Imani struggled against the icy waters until their fingers found purchase on the cold, dry land. Gasping and sobbing, they sucked in burning breaths in between furious coughs that brought up water. Everything inside them hurt; their lungs, their throat, their eyes… while everything else felt stiff with cold, and strangely detached. And though it was a struggle, they pulled themselves completely from the water, clawing into the earth until they were able to put distance between themselves and the water. It wasn’t until they’d gained a good distance, and they were sure that it was solid ground that lay beneath them, that they stole a look around, searching for the pale and frigid woman, only to find her gone without a trace. Imani collapsed, panting and exhausted.